Get It Off Your (Dead Man's) Chest: Pirates Movie Reviews

[innerSpaceman]

Maybe Alex was right.


I hated it.




I thought it was a mess. Convoluted, confusing, no plot or even a perceivable through-line to the story, and Sparrow and Swann were both too mean-spirited for my tastes. It seemed as if the special effects and art departments determined the story of the film instead of vice-versa.

To my mind, there was far too little piracy and too much mythology.

Spoiler:

Did we really need that many kraken attacks?

For all the action, the film seemed joyless and unfun. I was bored for too much of the time, though there was some great silly entertainment scattered about. But it wasn't even half a film. Despite a bloated two-and-a-half hour running time, the meat of the story was barely started before the To Be Continued ending (which, to me, played less like a cliffhanger and more like a commercial break).

Problem is, I wasn't engaged enough with the tale to really care to see more of it. I'd be much more excited about Pirates III if it wasn't going to be just a continuance of Pirates II. Davy Jones, wonderful CG and performance as was there, just didn't do it for me as a villain and the story revolving around him and the Dead Man's Chest wasn't involving enough for me to care about a second half that unfolds any later than next week.


Certainly, there was stuff I liked. But overall, a complete Meh. (as in Mess)