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Old 06-02-2010, 10:20 AM   #1
SzczerbiakManiac
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Would you "Friend" a childhood bully?

Check out this video. I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Even if I had a Facebook page, I can't ever see myself as Friending one of my childhood tormentors. Any morbid curiosity I had about how they turned out would be trumped by my lingering revulsion. These guys made my school years miserable--I don't need to revisit that.
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Old 06-02-2010, 10:28 AM   #2
Ghoulish Delight
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I've friended a handful of people that might have been considered bullies to me. But I suppose it helped that in the years since high school I've kept in contact with several high school friends and we used to have yearly mini-renuions where I saw some of them. And in doing so realized how utterly meaningless many of the reasons I hated those people were in hindsight.

It probably also helps that I think my life since school has been pretty awesome and I don't deny taking a certain pleasure in letting the people who spent a lot of energy trying to make me feel small and worthless know that they failed and that I'm doing pretty damned well, tyvm.

Of course, there were a couple people that, having encountered them out of high school as adults, I still didn't friend because as I adults I find them as, or more, unfriend-worthy.
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Old 06-02-2010, 10:30 AM   #3
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I pretty much friend anybody who asks where I can remember who they are. But 99% of them end up in a filter that can see nothing of what I say and don't show up in anything I look at regularly.

But there's not obligation to friend or explain. If you don't want to "friend" somebody don't, and don't worry about it. Regardless of whether that person is a childhood bully or your mother.
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Old 06-02-2010, 10:44 AM   #4
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I had someone who was horrible to me in jr. high try and friend me. I would hit ignore each time. After 5 re-requests I blocked her. I have no desire to be friends (FB or otherwise) with people who were horrible to me.
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Old 06-02-2010, 10:48 AM   #5
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I rejected a friend request from my Mother, so I'm thinking no. I would not.
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Old 06-02-2010, 11:47 AM   #6
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I might send them a message asking why they wanted to be my friend, that the past had been less than pleasant.

But yeah, you're under no obligation to friend them. I can't say if I would or not. It would depend on the person.
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Old 06-02-2010, 11:50 AM   #7
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I get easily stuck on the labels for things. The fact that they're called "friends" means I find it very hard to friend people who aren't actually my friends.

When the first wave of high school acquaintances found me, a girl whom I had classes with but never was truly friends with friended me. I thought, sure, and added her. Then more started coming in and I realized my mistake. If you literally never spoke a word directly to me, I might not hate you, but you are not my friend. The clincher is that these people don't want to MAKE friends with you, they just want to up their friend count. Not surprising, coming from the popular kids. I eventually unfriended that first non-friend and am sticking to my interpretation.
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Old 06-02-2010, 11:15 PM   #8
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I had to think about it for several days, but I did eventually accept. I've interacted with her minimally. But it fascinates me slightly that she looked me up since I left the school after we got into a fight and my mom chewed her ass out and made her cry.
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Old 06-02-2010, 11:23 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BarTopDancer View Post
I had someone who was horrible to me in jr. high try and friend me. I would hit ignore each time. After 5 re-requests I blocked her. I have no desire to be friends (FB or otherwise) with people who were horrible to me.
Well played, BTD

(Pic unrelated - It's hard to believe these majestic animals are still killed for their tubas)
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Last edited by Tref : 06-02-2010 at 11:43 PM.
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Old 06-02-2010, 11:39 PM   #10
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Of course, by friending him you could find out personal details of his life, stalk him, and plot his downfall, and get revenge.
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