Deliciously thumbs-down movie reviews

[LSPoorEeyorick]

I must confess that sometimes I enjoy a well-written bad review from a wordsmith of a critic more than I enjoy a good movie. Or, at least, a movie that I accept to be good but I don't particularly enjoy watching (take, for instance, "Saving Private Ryan.")

To feed my habit, I troll websites like Metacritic and Rotten Tomatoes. And now and then I come across a doozy. One of my favorite critics, A.O. Scott from the New York Times, had this to say about Taking Lives:

... there is not much to say. Those smashed-up corpses-- they sure are gruesome. That Angelina Jolie-- she sure has some pair of lips. That Kiefer Sutherland-- he sure can be creepy. That Ethan Hawke-- he sure is in this movie.

So I have decided to start this thread so that I could pop in every so often and share some quotable critics with you. And if you have any inclination, please, share. BYO snarky observer.

I'll start out with a new one from Carina Chocano in the Los Angeles Times, of "Bewitched," which opens today:

It isn't a remake, really. It's a 'reimagining,' which is a sparkly word for what happens when a beloved TV hit of yesteryear his cannibalized by committee.