For Men Only: Old School at the Urinal?

[Kevy Baby]

This thread is a good enough excuse to post this again:

[Alex]

The underwear I wear is flyless so that's one issue out of the way. And I prefer button-fly jeans so that is the other. So opening the pants is pretty much a habit even if I'm not wearing button-fly.

Also, "through the fly but over the top" can result in physical situations that mildly hamper a smooth flow by crimping on various passageways which can leade to leakage when putting everything away. As the old poem goes, "no matter how much you wiggle and dance, the last drop goes in the pants" which is bad enough without making it worse.

I don't pay enough attention to what other people do to have any idea if methods have changed.

[Chernabog]

Originally Posted by Alex Stroup

As the old poem goes, "no matter how much you wiggle and dance, the last drop goes in the pants" which is bad enough without making it worse.

Tee hee that one's cute.

But yeah, I blame it on the button fly. It is easier to undo your belt and unbutton it from the top, than trying to unbutton it from the middle (and then button it back up again from the middle) while the top button is still buttoned.

[blueerica]

Word on the street... or at least from over the shoulder... is that perhaps it is zipper length. Shorter zippers require "going over." Longer zippers mean going through.

Or whatever you guys call it.

Oh, and all apologies for being the first girl to respond to a decidedly male thread.

[RStar]

Originally Posted by blueerica

Oh, and all apologies for being the first girl to respond to a decidedly male thread.

Decidedly? The "men only" part of the title wasn't a clue?

Don't wory, I read the one about bras, and the make-up one as well (to some degree at least).

I find it rather amusing when a guy at the urinal spreads his legs, and places both hands on the wall as if he was being frisked by the police. I have to wonder about his past.....

And in case anyone wants to know Ephesians, chapter three, verse nine says "And to make all men see what is the fellowship of the mystery, which from the beginning of the world hath been hid in God, who created all things by Jesus Christ". I see nothing about dancing or peeing one's pants. (Note: I know Stephen King just had a character miss quoting the Bible on purpose)

[tracilicious]

Originally Posted by RStar

(Note: I know Stephen King just had a character miss quoting the Bible on purpose)

Miss Quoting, I'd like you to meet Mister Parentheses. How do you do?

[blueerica]

Originally Posted by RStar

Don't wory, I read the one about bras, and the make-up one as well (to some degree at least).

Criminy! I don't even remember those threads! I think I might about the make up....

[Cadaverous Pallor]

Originally Posted by Alex Stroup

"no matter how much you wiggle and dance, the last drop goes in the pants"

I can't help but add that this little rhyme would sound better with more syllables. How about this:

No matter how much you wiggle and dance, the last drop of pee goes into the pants.

That'll be 5 bucks, thank you for your business.

Otherwise, I'm finding this thread very educational.

[Alex]

I got it from a Stephen King book (have no idea if it is original) and make no claim that it was recreated correctly.

But my version reads fine to me with a slight beat between drop and goes. A pause that, when spoken out loud gives the listener a moment to realize where things are going. Adding "of pee" removes the ambiguity of it (though there may have been other syllables in the source; unfortunately I forget which book it was in).

[Alex]

Boy do I love Amazon's search inside. It is from Desparation and here is the relevant paragraph:

Originally Posted by Stephen King in one of his more forgettable books

Johnny shook it briskly, then slipped it back into his underpants. "Brethern," he told the distant shimmering mountains in his earnest revival preacher's voice, "we are told in the Book of Ephesians, chapter three, verse nine, that it matters not how much you jump and dance; the last two drops go in your pants. So it is written and so it is -"