Why Did I Refuse This Random Act of Kindness?

[Alex]

Originally Posted by Kevy Baby

I wonder how many interesting conversations that you have missed out on because of this. Sure, a lot of them were probably sales pitches, but not all of them may have been.

Perhaps, but the benefit of cutting off all of those sales pitches far outweighs (to me) the minimal likelihood of interesting conversation. Especially since if the person isn't capable of starting things off politely I don't have any great hope for interesting conversation even if there isn't a sale pitch to come.

As for the free stuff from people thing, I generally wouldn't take it now matter how nicely offered. At best I would have told this person "maybe the people behind me would like to take you up on it." Plus, some people just can't get behind the idea of "anonymous." A few years ago Lani and I were eating at IHOP on Thanksgiving (we do go all out for the holidays) and our waitress was also working a nearby table with something like 15 people. They left and we heard her mention to another staffperson that the table hadn't left any tip (and this was a table with many rowdy kids, etc.). So when we were done we left an extra $50 with a note explaining that some people suck, happy holidays, etc. (simply so she'd know it wasn't a mistake). Then she chased us down in the parking lot to thank us. I almost wanted to ask for the money back since she insisted on ruining it by turning it into a very uncomfortable situation (for me, other people would have been pleased as punch, I'm sure).

Fully aware of the irony, I am much better at giving than at receiving. So I'd have no problem paying for the meal of that anniversary couple but if I were that anniversary couple I'd be pretty put out to find out that somebody had paid for it.

[wendybeth]

Originally Posted by Alex

Perhaps, but the benefit of cutting off all of those sales pitches far outweighs (to me) the minimal likelihood of interesting conversation. Especially since if the person isn't capable of starting things off politely I don't have any great hope for interesting conversation even if there isn't a sale pitch to come.

As for the free stuff from people thing, I generally wouldn't take it now matter how nicely offered. At best I would have told this person "maybe the people behind me would like to take you up on it." Plus, some people just can't get behind the idea of "anonymous." A few years ago Lani and I were eating at IHOP on Thanksgiving (we do go all out for the holidays) and our waitress was also working a nearby table with something like 15 people. They left and we heard her mention to another staffperson that the table hadn't left any tip (and this was a table with many rowdy kids, etc.). So when we were done we left an extra $50 with a note explaining that some people suck, happy holidays, etc. (simply so she'd know it wasn't a mistake). Then she chased us down in the parking lot to thank us. I almost wanted to ask for the money back since she insisted on ruining it by turning it into a very uncomfortable situation (for me, other people would have been pleased as punch, I'm sure).



Fully aware of the irony, I am much better at giving than at receiving. So I'd have no problem paying for the meal of that anniversary couple but if I were that anniversary couple I'd be pretty put out to find out that somebody had paid for it.

Visible mojo- I feel the same way, but I don't think I would be too upset were I on the receiving end, so long as the giver wasn't lurking about waiting for kudos. I would very likely turn right around and do the same for another person or couple.

[MouseWife]

Originally Posted by Kevy Baby

I wonder how many interesting conversations that you have missed out on because of this. Sure, a lot of them were probably sales pitches, but not all of them may have been.

I have to laugh at this one, it is actually a 'combo' of this topic, it being a sales pitch and a freebie.

Ever so many years ago, when the lottery first came about I believe, my mother received a call: 'X' amount of free lottery tickets if you would listen to this guys sales pitch about a water purifier.

Well, she was game and she always chatted up {or told off} door to door salespersons and so this young man comes around. Dressed in a suit, complete with a briefcase and the papers about the item he was selling.

Us girlies were hanging around, as we did when any guy came around and we were watching her. We thought she was going to yell at him at some point, gee Wally, cuz that's what she did.

But no, as this young man is sweating it in his tie and trying so very hard to speak in the best English he could, you could see by his face he was trying soo hard, my mother looks at him right in the eye, very curiously, 'So, you do this for a living?' and the young man says 'Yes, I do ma'am'. She tells him 'Gee, that's too bad. It is really boring'.

We almost died for him and of laughter. He chuckled and I relaxed, I guess at that point he realized he just had to fork over the tickets and no more pressure.

Sorry is this was off topic but I am laughing my arse off just remembering the incident.

That's my momma.

[Not Afraid]

There are certain situations where I react as Helen did, but I don't think I would react that way in that particular situation. What I do react to is solicitors coming to my door and people camped outside stores asking for donations. Those are the ones I tend to ignore or walk away from. That has to do more with my conception of "MY" space and an invasion thereof. Perhaps Helen feels the same way about Starbucks.

[Gemini Cricket]

Originally Posted by Not Afraid

What I do react to is solicitors coming to my door and people camped outside stores asking for donations. Those are the ones I tend to ignore or walk away from. That has to do more with my conception of "MY" space and an invasion thereof. Perhaps Helen feels the same way about Starbucks.

Ah, but I do remember a lady coming by the Not Afraid manor with a case full of handmade jewelry. I do believe a tall redhead bought something...

[Gemini Cricket]

I don't think it was rude at all.
If Helen had said, "Listen here, fella. You can take your drink and sit on it." THAT would have been rude...

Once, in Monterey, I was filling up gas in Sand City. A guy pulled up to my car and opened his trunk. In the back of the trunk, there was a huge plasma screen TV.
"Here, take it." He said.
"Excuse me?"
"It's my boss's, I quit today. I want you to have it because I hate my boss."
For a split second I saw myself loading it into my trunk. But the other side of me thought better. It wasn't mine to have. I didn't buy it myself... It wouldn't feel right to me. So I told him, "No, thanks."
He seemed surprised and pissed off, but I don't regret that. Besides, it could have been some sort of police sting or something....

[wendybeth]

Originally Posted by Gemini Cricket

I don't think it was rude at all.
If Helen had said, "Listen here, fella. You can take your drink and sit on it." THAT would have been rude...

Once, in Monterey, I was filling up gas in Sand City. A guy pulled up to my car and opened his trunk. In the back of the trunk, there was a huge plasma screen TV.
"Here, take it." He said.
"Excuse me?"
"It's my boss's, I quit today. I want you to have it because I hate my boss."
For a split second I saw myself loading it into my trunk. But the other side of me thought better. It wasn't mine to have. I didn't buy it myself... It wouldn't feel right to me. So I told him, "No, thanks."
He seemed surprised and pissed off, but I don't regret that. Besides, it could have been some sort of police sting or something....

Lol! See, what first flashed through my head was that the kid was probably using someone else's card- be it an ex-beau, mom or dad's, or even stolen. Jaded, perhaps, but there you have it. Helen is a mom, and maybe her mom spidey sensors went off. (This kid is being fiscally irresponsible!)

[Not Afraid]

I must've been in a especially good mood that day.

[Gemini Cricket]

Originally Posted by Not Afraid

I must've been in a especially good mood that day.

I must say, she was really sweet. Right after that that real estate lady came by and tried to sell me a house in LB, remember?

[Not Afraid]

I should have just had a party that day! I could have invited both the Baptists and JWs in for a religious discussion, too.