I think I need a Christmas mental makeover-

[tracilicious]

Originally Posted by Gemini Cricket

You win.

Here are all the gifts I've ever gotten from my parents:

* a very small teddy bear when I was five at a "report card party"
* a tiny Ernie doll that my dad brought back when he went out of town
* a dog from my dad (ok, that was really cool) when I was eight
* I got to pick out a toy at a toy store once, I didn't want to take too much, so I picked out another small bear
* a doll at another report card party
* The board game Huggermugger from my dad when I was twelve (that game rocks!
* a bracelet from my mom when I graduated high school and a watch from my dad
* $100 worth of flowers for my wedding from my dad
* $50 for my wedding from my mom
* a talking picture frame for my fourth anniversary from my mom

I am not kidding you, that is every gift I've ever gotten from my parents in my entire life. And though we weren't rich, it wasn't really because we were poor. It was because my parents spent all their money on a dysfunctional money war. My dad bought a motorcycle without telling my mom, so she had to have a horse, he spent a ton of money on show pigeons and model airplanes (the kind you fly), so my mom had to have Bonsai and antique musical instruments, my dad spent $3500 on an early computer, etc... Though I will say that a good side of that is that I don't have any interest in getting gifts for special occassions unless they are inspired. And I have no sense of obligatory gift giving.

[Gemini Cricket]

Originally Posted by tracilicious

* a dog from my dad (ok, that was really cool) when I was eight.

Okay, I have a hideous story to tell. You know, since we're kinda dredging up the family angst.


When I was 6, my dad called me from work and told me that he bought me a dog for my birthday. I was thrilled. I started making a bed for him and getting bowls together for his food and water... My dad shows up with a ceramic bloodhound statue. It was to be used as a doorstop.

I was devistated. He thought it was funny. I did not.

[JWBear]

I haven't gotten a birthday present from my parents (parent, now) since I was in college.

[Gemini Cricket]

Originally Posted by JWBear

I haven't gotten a birthday present from my parents (parent, now) since I was in college.

Well, I advertise.

They usually just send cash nowdays.
I talk up my birthday at least a week beforehand... and Xmas for that matter.

[tracilicious]

I totally get what you are saying, Nephy. On one hand, it feels really good to give things to your kids that you know they will enjoy. It is so fun to see the excited look on their faces as they open gifts. At the same time, we (all of us) buy way too much stuff in this country. I don't want to pass on that kind of consumerism to the kids. So, my solution is to do xmas somewhat low key and find other opportunities to experience excitement with my kids. Discovering new things, learning together, going new places, and just plain having fun with them all give me (and them) that same thrill. We also extend our xmas experience by making xmas crafts, doing solstice festivities with friends, etc. in the few weeks before xmas.

Last year was our first xmas and it really seemed like we were trying to fill some quota of gifts. This year my philosophy is a bit different. I want Indi and Jade to have the memories I don't have of receiving their hearts desires at a special time with his family. I also want them to always feel that we live in a universe of abundance and that there is always a way for them to have what they desire (though it doesn't always need to come from me). We are getting one large gift for both of them (a train table), then for Indi we are getting him Optimus Prime and Santa is bringing a roboraptor, Jade is getting stuff a two year old likes (um, ok, I'm not really sure what yet and honestly she doesn't care very much either), plus a few open ended toys like tinker toys, puzzles, books, etc. for them to share. We have a few relatives that will get them things as well. In their stockings will be some candy canes, maybe a few very small, very cheap, toys, a flashlight, and some fruit/snacks.

Even though I'm trying to keep things low key giftwise that still seems like a lot of stuff to me. I wouldn't feel bad if it was less. But we are pretty frugal the rest of the year and we don't buy them much in general. Plus Indi is growing out of the preschoolish toys he has now and is ready to move on to bigger kids stuff.

Nephy, maybe you could figure out the feelings you and your kids want to experience associated with xmas and find ways to have that without buying excessively.

[Kevy Baby]

Every Birthday: $50 check from Dad and a $20 bill from Mom

[tracilicious]

OMG, GC!!!! That is sooooo mean. That is took my nephew to a burned down warehouse and told him Disneyland had burned down mean.

Michael's parents once sold his dog while he was at school without any warning at all.

[Gemini Cricket]

Originally Posted by tracilicious

OMG, GC!!!! That is sooooo mean.
...
Michael's parents once sold his dog while he was at school without any warning at all.

It's even worse than you think.
Prior to the ceramic dog affair, we had moved from a house to a townhouse. The townhouse was too small for my 2 pet Basenjis. So my parents gave them to my grandfather (my dad'd dad, not my mom's dad who I adored) and he put them to sleep. He said they were aggressive and bit him. He had them put down.
So, dogs were a touchy subject with me (at freakin' 6 years old) and the ceramic dog joke didn't go off too well with me.

Years later, when the ceramic dog got chipped and broken, I threw him away. Before I did, though, I threw it against a brick wall shattering it.


Edited to add: I never forgave my grandfather for that and did not speak to him from that point until his death about 5 years ago.

[Kevy Baby]

Wow. This has become such a cheerful thread.

[Gemini Cricket]

Originally Posted by Kevy Baby

Wow. This has become such a cheerful thread.

Sorry, I'll stop.
Sorry for derailing, Nephy.

......


Happy story:

My parents had the most hideous fake Christmas tree ever. It rotated when it was plugged in and played various carols in beeping noises.

Horrible.