Body Image...

[Disneyphile]

I honestly don't care about others' perceptions of my body if they think I'm too fat. However, I do find myself getting irked by people who say to me, "You're fat and beautiful! Be proud!"

I don't give a crap how I look. It's how I feel. And, for me it's more of a physiological feeling, which then affects my emotions, rather than the other way around.

Because of that, I do not like being fat. I can feel the strain on my joints. I get out of breath sometimes easily. I get too hot too easily. And, I often feel lazy and lethargic. Those feelings do affect me, because I get sad thinking about how I don't have the leg and joint strength to go rock climbing or surfing. I hate not being able to join in some things because of weight or size restrictions (which are there for obvious safety reasons, so I'm not about to call "discrimination"). I want to be more comfortable on an airplane. (I'm also not about to demand that they add more room - there really isn't room to add.) I want to hike uphill without getting winded. I'm sorry, but being winded, strained, and uncomfortable is not something I should be "proud" of.

I was very active at the gym last year, and developed great eating habits. Unfortunately, the last six months blew that all to hell, and I can FEEL it.

Thankfully, I've got my gym bag back together, my lost membership card being replaced, and a shiny new iPod armband to make carrying my music more convenient. I've even got that "me time" scheduled on my calendar once again, so it's blocked out.

The eating habits (small meals every couple hours) are going to take a few weeks getting used to again, but with the chaos finally settling, I can put the thought back into it until it becomes automatic once again.

I want me back, dammit.

[katiesue]

Originally Posted by Disneyphile

I want me back, dammit.

I feel like me in a fat suit - to be honest. I'd like to get back to being ME.

[CoasterMatt]

Originally Posted by katiesue

I feel like me in a fat suit - to be honest. I'd like to get back to being ME.

That's about where I am lately. I've lost a little bit off the old belly, but overall, I just feel like I'm not quite in the right spot...

[Sohrshah]

Originally Posted by Disneyphile

I honestly don't care about others' perceptions of my body if they think I'm too fat. However, I do find myself getting irked by people who say to me, "You're fat and beautiful! Be proud!"

I don't give a crap how I look. It's how I feel. And, for me it's more of a physiological feeling, which then affects my emotions, rather than the other way around.


I want me back, dammit.

I couldn't agree more! I want me back, too!

[innerSpaceman]

Sheesh, it looks like the first room to build for the LoT Commune should be the Swank Gym.

[€uroMeinke]

Originally Posted by innerSpaceman

Sheesh, it looks like the first room to build for the LoT Commune should be the Swank Gym.

Or Latin Dance club since I just saw a commercial that claims the swaying hip action of Latin Dancing is the best exercise there is - and how swank is Tango?

[Not Afraid]

No gym. Dance studio!

[€uroMeinke]

Originally Posted by Not Afraid

No gym. Dance studio!

jinx

[SacTown Chronic]

Yoga.

[Prudence]

How much do we beat ourselves up over achieving the weight perfection, though? Photos of my ancestors show them with body types similar to mine. Just a few months ago I did an experiment where I limited my calorie intake to 900/day and was doing regular cardio (via treadmill). I gained weight. And not muscle - my pants were in danger of not fitting. I didn't talk about it because the response is generally that I just didn't try hard enough. That I needed to cut calories further and workout longer (time I didn't have back then).

And this isn't to say wahwahwah poor me I can't do it! But people are so quick to say that it's "simple". And the implication is that anyone who isn't successful is just lazy and undisciplined. Which leads further to the permission to treat anyone overweight as sh1t because we're obviously complete losers who can't handle a simple equation like working off the calories consumed, and who should therefore be stoned in the town square as a warning to others and to rid the world of unsightly blobs.

I've reached a point where I truly don't know what to do. In a couple weeks I'll have time to devote to cooking again and working out - except for stupid foot problems. But what if nothing happens then, either? What do I do? The only info I get from my doc is "eat less". Should I just start starving myself? Should I jog 3 hours a day? And if that's what it "takes" to achieve the mandated figure, and I have to keep that up for the rest of my life, is that really what I want? Is it what I'm obligated to do regardless of my personal preferences, and if I don't I'm bad/evil/unethical/lazy/stupid/fatsmellycow? What if a "good" diet and "moderate" exercise result in maintaining my current weight, but nothing more?

This is all hypothetical at the moment, as I still have a few weeks left before exam time, but I get awfully tired of people pointing fingers at me and declaring that I'm doing it wrong, and that clearly if I wasn't such a complete twatwaffle I could comprehend the simple procedures necessary.