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Old 02-12-2009, 10:37 AM   #1
Strangler Lewis
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From what I've read the concern is that the interruption was a test run for a terrorist attack during next year's Super Bowl. Had the clip gone on longer, every drunk man in America and our fighting men overseas would have been hypnotized into dropping trou and shaking our dicks from side to side.

This would have left us vulnerable.
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Old 02-12-2009, 08:15 AM   #2
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I think they should have said:

Quote:
We at Comcast are deeply sorry for what happened and though we'll do everything we can to prevent a repeat in the future it does appear that this event was the result of an intentional circumvention of our processes.

Under normal operating conditions what was shown during the Super Bowl would have included an extra charge of $8.95 and as a sign of our regret over this unfortunate incident Comcast Arizona has magnanimously decided not to charge viewers.

As for parents calling us to tell weepy stories of how their children have been scarred or otherwise irrevocably damaged, please shut up. If your children are so emotionally weak that 30 seconds of a penis does them damage, it is best that you found out now so that you can provide proper padding on any nearby hard surfaces and sharp corners.

Again, we apologize for this event and assure you that this weekends Fright Night Marathon of slasher films on Spike TV and the College Corruption Marathon of stoner comedies on Comedy Central will proceed without any untoward interruption. Fun for the whole family.
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Old 02-12-2009, 11:41 AM   #3
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Two satellites collide.

Phil Plait at Bad Astronomy calculates they must have hit at a closing speed of about 1.5 kps or 3,355 miles per hour.
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Old 02-12-2009, 11:45 AM   #4
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Quote:
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Two satellites collide.

Phil Plait at Bad Astronomy calculates they must have hit at a closing speed of about 1.5 kps or 3,355 miles per hour.
According to the update on the linked article, the speed was more like 8 kps.
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Old 02-12-2009, 11:52 AM   #5
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Yep, the update wasn't showing in my RSS aggregator.

17,895 miles per hour. Definitely need to wear a helmet at those speeds.
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Old 02-12-2009, 12:00 PM   #6
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yeah...they "collided"....suuuuuure

truth....its a prelude to an alien invasion. theyre practicing taking out all our communications systems. first they started with broadcasting porn, then crash satellites and crashing twitter. they should be landing the invasion force any day now!
run for your lives!!!!


btw, is my foil hat on straight?
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Old 02-12-2009, 12:08 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Capt Jack View Post
yeah...they "collided"....suuuuuure

truth....its a prelude to an alien invasion. theyre practicing taking out all our communications systems. first they started with broadcasting porn, then crash satellites and crashing twitter. they should be landing the invasion force any day now!
run for your lives!!!!


btw, is my foil hat on straight?
If they broadcast free porn, I welcome our new overlords.
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Old 02-12-2009, 12:13 PM   #8
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The porn was was to get all you men ready for your anal probe.
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Old 02-12-2009, 12:20 PM   #9
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The porn was was to get all you men ready for your anal probe.
I hereby formally withdraw my earlier comment.
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Old 02-12-2009, 12:25 PM   #10
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Quote:
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Can you even f'n believe that people have a problem with stemcell research?? Holy crap.
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