WTF Stories of the Week

[MouseWife]

Originally Posted by Moonliner

Ding ding ding! If you guessed "Hiding in the attic" you win!

All's well that ends well

Once my nephew {he was only 4-6, if I remember correctly} did something wrong. He hid in a camper parked in front of their house. He was deemed 'missing' and they searched everywhere, including the camper. They had helicopters out looking for him.

Eventually he was found.

I am glad this boy was found. What a horrific way to die, eh?

{oh, I'd have guessed attic if I knew they had one!! }

[Ghoulish Delight]

Originally Posted by BarTopDancer

Balloon crashes, 6 year old boy is missing

Originally Posted by From the Article

The boy's family, who earlier this year appeared in a reality television show about wife-swapping,

While the title of the show was undoubtedly chosen specifically to play up this confusion, describing it like that will give people unfamiliar with the show the wrong idea about this family.

[Capt Jack]

Scientists hope work with poison gas can be a lifesaver


facinating.

[Disneyphile]

Real Energizer Bunnies

(Warning: Bunny lovers might not want to read this.)

[Disneyphile]

And... welcome back to the 50's where blacks and whites can't marry each other!

What the hell century is this again?

[Moonliner]

Originally Posted by Disneyphile

And... welcome back to the 50's where blacks and whites can't marry each other!

What the hell century is this again?

From the Justice of the peace:

Originally Posted by Justice dumbass

"I'm not a racist. I just don't believe in mixing the races that way

[SzczerbiakManiac]

Originally Posted by Disneyphile

And... welcome back to the 50's where blacks and whites can't marry each other!

I'm going to fix that guy's quotes. It looks like the paper "forgot" to include some of the stuff he said. Fortunately, I have a complete audio recording and, because I love you all so much, will happily transcribe it for you.

"I'm not a racist. I just don't believe in mixing the races that way,"
Or any way for that matter. Come on, we can't have them Coloreds mixin' in with regular folks! That'd be like like pouring molasses in the milk.

"I have piles and piles of black friends.
Stacked up like cord-wood behind my shed.

They come to my home, I marry them, they use my bathroom. I treat them just like everyone else."
who is sub-human. Hell, I even let the Mexi-cans come over, but only on Tuesdays. I won't marry an illegal, but I do let them use my lawnmower to cut my grass. They seem to take a likin' to that kinda work. On Saturdays the Queers can come by if they fix my wife's bouffant hair-do. They're not allowed to use the bathroom cause I don't want to catch the AIDS from sittin' on the same toilet seat as them and of course I won't marry them cause that'd be a sin. Once there was a Colored Queer that wanted to come by on a Wednesday. I wasn't sure what to do! I let him come in and use the bathroom on the account of him bein' Colored, but I made sure the missus cleaned it with bleach as soon as he left!

Bardwell said he asks everyone who calls about marriage if they are a mixed race couple. If they are, he does not marry them,
Cause that'd be just plain wrong. The Bible clearly states races should not mix and that's good enough fer me!

Bardwell said he has discussed the topic with blacks and whites, along with witnessing some interracial marriages. He came to the conclusion that most of black society does not readily accept offspring of such relationships, and neither does white society, he said.
As an elected official, it's my responsibility to keep The South from becoming any more racially polluted than it is. And as a White man, I am an expert on the sensibilities of the Colored community.

"There is a problem with both groups accepting a child from such a marriage," Bardwell said. "I think those children suffer and I won't help put them through it."
Next thing ya know, Queers is gonna want to adopt children! Just think of all the queer kids they'd recruit if we let that happen. Think of the children!!!

"I try to treat everyone equally," he said.
Like property, to be bought and sold--just like the missus! We have a Traditional Marriage, just like the Good Book says.

Bardwell estimates that he has refused to marry about four couples during his career, all in the past 2 1/2 years.

May his career not reach 3 years!

[Morrigoon]

Well, when you let the government get away with telling some folks who they can or can't marry, you give others in government the idea that that sort of thing is acceptable. Can't have it both ways.

[Alex]

I wondered if maybe in Louisiana a "justice of the peace" was just anybody who was permitted to officiate weddings, in which case as abhorrent as this guys point of view may be more power to him (to force him to marry interracial couples would be the same as forcing Catholic priests to marry homosexual couples once that is again legal).

But they're not. They're actual elected officials.

[Strangler Lewis]

He's not a racist anymore than Spencer Tracy's character in "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner" was.