Love it!

[Eliza Hodgkins 1812]

I'm a perfect angel every 28 days.

I love how I cry. I love how I get angry at EVERYTHING. I love how people, who are close to me, consider bringing in an exorcist. I love how full of bloat I get. I love how sore my boobs get. I love how my uterus expands and contracts, as if to say, “You feel this? YOU FEEL THIS? Your vacant womb is contracting. If you were pregnant right now, you wouldn’t have to feel these for another nine months.”

“You know, Uterus, I’m not entirely sure that’s true. And even if it were, I’d rather have slight cramps than go through a 15 hour labor. Plus, all that aside, I hear that pregnant woman get bad gas. And have backaches. And after they give birth, sometimes they lactate through their blouses. Plus, it’s nice to have money with which to clothe and feed your kids, and I’m barely clothing and feeding me.”

“That’s because you buy too many books, books you don’t read before buying more books. You could easily have saved enough money by now to pay off your college loans, be free and clear of all debt, and STILL have money for books AND baby clothes.”

“Well, I don’t have a husband.”

“Girlfriend, please. You don’t need a man. You can do this on your own.”

“I’d rather eat you, Uterus, than be a single mother. Women who are capable, wonderful, loving single mothers have something that I lack: patience, determination, backbones, courage, energy…”

“Sounds to me like they have a lot of things you lack, Haskell.”

“Yeah.”

“You’re wrong, though. You never complain about the long lines at Disneyland, and so you have patience.”

“Hmm.”

“From the moment you wake up, you are resolved to make it back to your bed as quickly as possible, and so you are determined.

“Ah.”

“You are always complaining about a pain up and down your spinal cord, so you have backbone.”

“You’re right!”

“You own up to your lies (even though the only person you own up to is yourself) and that takes courage.”

“I’m a friggin’ lion!”

“When you see something on TV that makes you really happy, you dance in your seat and clap your hands vigorously, and that takes a lot of energy!”

“I could light an entire village, population 11, with the energy of my excited hand claps! What you speak is the truth!”

“See, you are totally ready for single parenthood. And believe me when I tell you that *I* am ready to be fetus filled and satisfied. I’m tired of these fake contractions. I’m ready for the real deal.”

“I’m still not sure how I’d pay for these babies you want me to have so badly.”

“Welfare. Everyone is doing it.”

“I really don’t want to be pregnant. Or raise brats, and we know my kids would be bratty.”

“If you don’t get pregnant soon, I’m going to wither up and die. I will look like a little shriveled crone and I will whisper about dark portents at night while you sleep. You’ll never have a good night’s sleep again. You’re hair will go grey overnight. You’re eyesight will fail completely. Give me a child, Audra. I MUST HAVE A CHILD!”

“Nah, I think I’d rather drink beer, be lonely, read The Goon when Powell finally comes out with Vol. 4, and play Mrs Pacman, even though I’m the WORST Pacman player ever. You can understand that, can’t you, Uterus?”

“Yeah, but in another 28 days, we’re having this conversation again!”

“Okaydoke.”

Yup, every 28 days I’m a perfectly sane, wonderfully happy, content little angel. A fallen angel. A demon spawn of Hell.

And I LOVE it.

[Ponine]

Originally Posted by Eliza Hodgkins 1812

“I’d rather eat you, Uterus, than be a single mother. Women who are capable, wonderful, loving single mothers have something that I lack: patience, determination, backbones, courage, energy…”

Okay... I never had backaches, never lactated throguh my blouse, and I tend to get clothes for the kid before myself.

But that second one.... hmm.. offhand compliment if you ask me. Though I dont feel that i have a backbone, or determination.

Personally, I love that people seem to think that us mothers are always happy, and dont long to be able to hang out with the gals.
I want to really!!! I love it that some men dont see child rearing as a part of their makeup.

[SacTown Chronic]

I love that I placed an order with Amazon and didn't remember to update my account with our new address until after my order shipped.

Love it!!!

[Gn2Dlnd]

Originally Posted by Cadaverous Pallor

I love the rollercoaster I ride every 28 days. Love. It.

California Screamin' ?

[Not Afraid]

I love that I've never really had bad PMS. I'm just a bitch 24/7.

[Cadaverous Pallor]

I love it when I can't mojo Eliza for yet another perfect post (YAPP?).

[Eliza Hodgkins 1812]

Originally Posted by Cadaverous Pallor

I love it when I can't mojo Eliza for yet another perfect post (YAPP?).

I wonder if people start giving me bad mojo for my poor grammar and typos, if that would act as incentive to make improvements.

I DO know the difference between "your" and "you're" and yet I make that mistake EVERY time when I type.

Why? WHY?

Dear Brain,

Please be smarter.

Love,
EH1812

[SusieP.]

I love it that some of my friends went to WDW without me for the week, and that they keep sending me text messages and photos on my phone. Love that.

I also love it that my husband keeps asking me if I'm sad that I didn't get to go. Umm, yeah, duh.

(But at the same time, I'm conflicted because I do love that they got to go anyway, even though I'm at work and they are riding Space Mt. Luckies!)

[BarTopDancer]

[surfer voice]
5
4
3
2
1[/surfer voice]
[break release]

I know women who are together in real life cycle together. Can women on a message board cycle together?

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

[Not Afraid]

Originally Posted by BarTopDancer

I know women who are together in real life cycle together. Can women on a message board cycle together?

My friend and I carpooled together and would start within 1 hour of each other. However, she had the bitchy effect and I didn't put up with it, so it was a bit stressful.