Mortality

[katiesue]

Betty, open caskets are freaky. Unfortunately it's really all my family does. We even have visitation at the funeral home beforehand so everyone can pay their respects to the open casket. Ugh. Not really the way I want to remember anyone. I attempted to avoid both of my parents ones but ended up having to be there, and see them.

GD it's wonderful that you have that. I've got a few interviews some of the local historical society did with some of my relatives. Very interesting stuff.

Adding: I just realized that Maddie's never even been to a funeral. Growing up I had a lot of older relatives, great-great Aunts/Uncles, Great grandparents, family friends. There were funerals all the time. None of them were tragic deaths they were all just older people who passed away for whatever reason.

[CoasterMatt]

I've told my family, that if they insist on an open casket, they better have me in an Oingo Boingo t-shirt and clown make up.

[Strangler Lewis]

While I can say that learning about my parents helps explain them and explain me, I can say that almost every time I learned something about my parents, I was kind of sorry that I had.

If you enjoy the concept of family secrets, I recommend the BBC miniseries from some years ago, "Almost Strangers." It's a wonderful take on the concept, and I found it much more pleasant to learn about those family secrets than my own.

[Kevy Baby]

I would like to be able to build my own casket

[Betty]

I'm not so interested in family secrets as silly family stories and special memories.

[€uroMeinke]

Thanks for sharing your stories - it's just the kind of thing I love to hear about. KatieSue - I'm digging the old family pics you've been posting on Facebook & GD - I'd love to hear your family's immigrant tale - I've got a real love of stories of traveling to new worlds and expectations. Strangler Lewis, I also dig the family secrets, the dark things sometimes parents try to keep from their kids but in the end make them more real, vulnerable, and telling.

[Morrigoon]

Originally Posted by €uroMeinke

Thanks for sharing your stories - it's just the kind of thing I love to hear about. KatieSue - I'm digging the old family pics you've been posting on Facebook & GD - I'd love to hear your family's immigrant tale - I've got a real love of stories of traveling to new worlds and expectations. Strangler Lewis, I also dig the family secrets, the dark things sometimes parents try to keep from their kids but in the end make them more real, vulnerable, and telling.

You know that's got the making of a pretty cool thread on its own - post a pic(s) and story of a dead relative.

[lashbear]

My sense of mortality came when they deliberately cut my chest open and stopped my heart.

...Luckily I got another go. I'm now taking steps to see that it wasn't all for nothing. Why did it take 20 months for me to realise this? That's crazy, isn't it? Still I guess there's many reasons why people take a long time to realise they need to stop killing themselves.

This is almost like a therapy session, so allow me a little further indulgence. I'm wondering if there's something along the lines of an Overeaters Anonymous group that doesn't have the God thing attached to it. It wouldn't work for me otherwise, cos I would feel hypocritical.

Mortality. You can't live with it, you can't live without it.

[3894]

1.The silk oriental rug, the silver, the good china, anything that might bring big money on "Antiques Roadshow" - use it, wear it out. Otherwise, it's just grave goods.

2. Leave the world more beautiful than you found it.

3. Remember 3894's Shoe Fund in your will.

[Cadaverous Pallor]

Originally Posted by 3894

2. Leave the world more beautiful than you found it.

3. Remember 3894's Shoe Fund in your will.

Number three helps with number two.


Did I tell you guys that my great-grandmother Bertha married her own uncle? It was sometime in 1908 - she was 27 years old, and the uncle (Siegmund) was 41. Bertha's father passed away in Nov 1908 and by the time Bertha gave birth to my grandmother Florrie in June 1909, they had relocated to South Africa, where other family was already established.

The timing raises many more questions - perhaps her father was ailing and his unwed late-twenties daughter needed someone to take responsibility for her. According to the family tree I have, Siegmund was never married before. They only had two kids, which, even though she only started late in the game, is still weird for that generation (everyone else on the chart has many more). Who knows if that was by choice (due to lack of sexual attraction between uncle and niece, full knowledge of close relations, or Siegmund's older age) or by nature (due to close relations or Siegmund's older age). I can't help but think that Siegmund might have been gay.

It was quite a shock to find out that my maternal grandmother Florrie (who I didn't know well) was the product of such weirdness, and that my own mother didn't know about it. She says she was told that Bertha had an earlier husband who passed away so she married her husband's brother, per Jewish tradition. There's no mention of a prior marriage on the tree but it's possible too (though Siegmund was definitely her uncle). Who knows if things were purposefully confused or just muddled.