Who's your Daddy?

[katiesue]

These situations can get quite sticky. Even when the father knows he isn't the biological father.

A friend who is divorced has two sons. One is a smaller carbon copy of him, the other bears absolutely no resemblence at all. The ex wife had admitted to cheating etc and everyone is fairly certain one son isn't biologially his. But he never pursued anything, duly paid child support etc as he did not want to put the child through any further trauma.

Scaeagles I do remember that case, it can't have been too long ago.

And I have another friend who had the opposite situation, had been raising a child as his own whom he knew was not biologically his. They had three other children together. When they got divorced the Mom made sure he got no contact with the child who was not his (she didn't even know he was not her Dad till the social worker let it slip) even though he wanted to take responsibility for her as well as the three that were his.

It can all get very messy.

[Not Afraid]

Lickey, you need some lickey on your lumbo.

I walk like my Dad. I had an autoimmune disease like my Dad. I look like a blend of my Mom and Dad. There ain't no guesswork here.

Now, my evil sister.........there's a good question!

[Cadaverous Pallor]

Looks like Ally just threw one EVERYONE'S way. Nicely done.

[blueerica]

Yes, in one deft maneuver, she threw it to us all...

[Not Afraid]

Well, I'm am fortunante enough to have done enough things "wrong" and seen my friends do many wrong things to know that committed relationships are hard and it takes a lot of maturity to successfully pull it off. Again, I bless being 40 and experienced.

[FEJ]

Next can we talk about who is right on abortion and religion?

my opinion is:
If one is ok and comfortable in their own skin, while not harming others in the process, then live and let live. (please don't start a debate of symantics on the above mentioned topics) I don't always agree with the way people live, and somtimes it frustrates me cause they don't think the way I do. Then again, I dont have to live in heir skin. (*grabs chainsaw* ..hee hee ...YET )

If it works for you, great. if it doesn't, change. but be true to yourself.

[Ghoulish Delight]

Originally Posted by ubergeek42

If it works for you, great. if it doesn't, change. but be true to yourself.

Bingo, well said.

know that committed relationships are hard and it takes a lot of maturity to successfully pull it off.

Absolutely. No matter what kind of relationship it is. Monogomous or otherwise, if people aren't communicating and being truthful with each other, disaster is assured.

Which brings us back to my original point, that being that as long as heterosexual monogomous relationships are the only variety accepted by societal structures, people who have no business being in that kind of relationship will continue to be unable to communicate their needs and desires truthfully to themselves or others, which will continue to result in more infidelity than would otherwise.

I stress again, of course, that I don't purport that this narrow analysis accounts for all problems. Just because someone cheats doesn't mean, "Hey, what the really need is a non-monogomous relationship!" And certainly not everyone who has entered an open non-monogomus relationship did so because they had issues or would have been driven to cheat otherwise. And just as I don't feel that tolerance of homosexuality won't lead to an apocalypse of homosexual behavior in our society and the downfall of the institution of marriage, I wouldn't expect tolerance of non-traditional relationships to render the traditional relationship obsolete either. It would simply allow the small percentage of people for whom that's a viable option to be true to themselves, as ubergeek put it.

Edit: And I might add that the need for truthfullness extends beyond the ability to discuss alternative lifestyles, I was just keying off of €'s question, "But is it even possible to get to a level of acceptance for certain sexual practices – such as extra-marital sex." Honestly, that probably accounts for a very tiny amount of trust problems in marriages. It's equally important to engender honesty regarding ALL things sexual/realational. Whatever it is, if there's a problem in a relationship but you feel like you're not "supposed" to talk about it, that ain't good.

[Not Afraid]

Originally Posted by Ghoulish Delight

Whatever it is, if there's a problem in a relationship but you feel like you're not "supposed" to talk about it, that ain't good.

I completely agree. Talking out issues is key to any relationship, marital or otherwise. However, acting on those issues, is quite a different thing. Married does not bean you are dead, attractions happen, but, personally, I am not naive enough to think that I could act on those attractions without some sort of damage to my marriage. It happens. I can guarantee that. I've experienced it. And, 99% of the outcomes are not good ones. I was lucky - after many years of pain and hurt. So, it doesn't make sense to me at all. My marriage comes first. Period.

[€uroMeinke]

To circle back to the original situation, if you remove the elements of sexuality what you really have is the ethics of keeping secrets and betraying confidences. As a dissintereted 3rd party (the Doctor) what should he or she divulge and to whom?

I think we're all pretty clear that the best situation is where a couple is honest with each other. But this is an example of where they are not.

[tracilicious]

Originally Posted by €uroMeinke

To circle back to the original situation, if you remove the elements of sexuality what you really have is the ethics of keeping secrets and betraying confidences. As a dissintereted 3rd party (the Doctor) what should he or she divulge and to whom?

I think we're all pretty clear that the best situation is where a couple is honest which it other. But this is an example of where they are not.

Being that the pregnant woman is his (or her) patient, his obligation is to respect her confidentiality. He has no professional relationship with her husband, so he isn't obligated to tell him anything without her permission. In fact, doing so would be illegal.

In my opinion, that's the way things should be. If the woman feels she can trust the doctor, then she's more likely to be honest about genetically/medically important information.