Societal norms, the Moral Majority and a rant that feels so good - Page 2

Kevy Baby · 10-31-2005, 01:27 PM

I actually enjoy meeting people like that, engaging them in conversations and ending showing (in a very polite way), how hypocritical they are. Done it a couple of times on the gay marriage issue and once recently when someone started bashing "fringe" non-Judeo-Christian religions (such as, oh I don't know: Wicca). I derive great pleasure from it and enjoy making the other person feel like an idiot. Nothing so fun as using somebody's own arguments against them.

Name · 10-31-2005, 02:02 PM

What they don't realize is, my way is the only way.....

Prudence · 10-31-2005, 02:08 PM

I don't necessarily think that judging is wrong, but in most cases it needs to be an internal act. I do think that we might benefit, as a society, if more people paid more attention to how others act and what consequences follow from those actions. Perhaps if more people noted that Action A tends to lead to Negative Consequence B there would be fewer people participting in Action A.

However, as I noted, that is in most cases appropriate as an internal exercise. I can observe Action A and evaluate it silently to myself. I can discuss Action A with my spouse back home later. And if I had children and if they happened to see Action A, it would be a really good idea to discuss that later as part of their education.

Baring any immediate threat to life or property, however, there is likely no need for me to approach those participating Action A and tell them that I don't approve. They neither need nor want my approval, and while I'm busy sticking my nose in, someone else is observing the negative consequences of my actions and making notes to tell their family later.

Scrooge McSam · 10-31-2005, 02:11 PM

Dammit Prudence.... This place doesn't make enough mojo for you to keep posting like this.

Crystal · 10-31-2005, 02:24 PM

SacTown, baby, I Love You!

What happened over the weekend has really left me depressed. The people we've had a falling out with have been friends for many years. The wife became aware of my bi-sexuality, something she heard through the grapevine, and now has a need to put me down and treat me as though I am immoral.She feels the need to "save" me and told me I will regret the choices I have made in my personal life. Personally, I feel it really is none of her business, but because we have been friends for so long, it is really difficult to get past this. She is judging mine and SacTowns entire relationship on this one thing that she disapproves of.

SacTown and I have the strongest marriage of anyone I know. We have been married for 10 years, together for 15, and friends for 20. We are open and honest with each other, committed to our family and have strong morals and family values.We rarely argue, but engage in mature conversation in regards to any differences we may have. It really bothers me that someone who has little knowledge of the intricate workings of our marriage, someone who has enough marital problems of their own, should choose to judge us in this way.

Sorry for the long winded post, but, whew, I feel better already. Thanks!

blueerica · 10-31-2005, 02:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crystal

It really bothers me that someone who has little knowledge of the intricate workings of our marriage, someone who has enough marital problems of their own, should choose to judge us in this way.

I'm sad to hear that it came from someone you have known and been friends with for such a long time. I don't mean to judge her in return, but chances are, she's so outspoken because of her own insecurities in her marriage. When you can't lash out at yourself, lash out at the nearest person.

Quote:

Sorry for the long winded post, but, whew, I feel better already. Thanks!

Should we all be so lucky to have a well-working marriage such as yours & Sac's !!!

Kevy Baby · 10-31-2005, 03:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crystal

The people we've had a falling out with have been friends for many years. The wife became aware of my bi-sexuality, something she heard through the grapevine, and now has a need to put me down and treat me as though I am immoral. She feels the need to "save" me and told me I will regret the choices I have made in my personal life. Personally, I feel it really is none of her business, but because we have been friends for so long, it is really difficult to get past this. She is judging mine and SacTowns entire relationship on this one thing that she disapproves of.

I suspect that most of what is upsetting about this is that these people who are your friends have suddenly changed their view of the two of you and yuo have seemingly lost a friend. This change in view was based on a rumour/detail/whatever that appears to be true. If her moral line of demarcation (because of religious/personal/whatever beliefs) indicates that bi-sexuality is unacceptable to her/them (not sure how much the husband was involved), then that is her choice. If she believes that this act (it may be more than the bi-sexuality - it may be more the lack of monogamy in the marriage; many people believe that "open marriages" do not work) means that she does not want to associate with you, then that is her prerogative. Yes, it hurts and yes, it sucks. But her choice is hers to make. The way she acted (preachy, etc.) may have been pretty crappy, but would you rather she say these things to your face or behind your back?

I am not saying this to go against the nature of what happened (you and Sac are wonderful people and you have great kids, so you must be good parents), but to just to look at the whole picture. I am sorry that this person has these narrow views and was compelled to thrust them in your face. I were in your shoes, I am not sure I would WANT such a closed minded-person as a friend!

I am very sorry for the two of you and the shiity situation!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crystal

SacTown, baby, I Love You!

Does Mickey Lumbo know about this?

Crystal · 10-31-2005, 07:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kevy Baby

Does Mickey Lumbo know about this?

yeah, he knows, he's just in denial

Crystal · 10-31-2005, 07:26 PM

Thanks to all of you for your kind words, support and encouragement. I feel alot better after having shared my dilemma and you guys have really lifted my spirits.

Sure, it sucks to lose a friendship, but I prefer to not have narrow-minded, self-righteous friends anyway. I think I prefer to hang out here at the LoT, where everyone is accepting of each other, regardless of differences in opinion, lifestyle or what have you. You guys rock!

Thanks again for all of your support!

Gemini Cricket · 11-01-2005, 08:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crystal

What happened over the weekend has really left me depressed...

Crystal,
I...grrrr...they... arrgghhh... how can they....roooaaarrr.... when I think about.... grrrrowwwwl... 'save? SAVE?!' .... murmur.... He taught inclusiveness... grrrrr.... plank in your own face... arrrrrr.... pretentiously pious jackanapes.... grooooaaannn!
Signed,
GC

10-31-2005, 01:27 PM	#1
Kevy Baby Chowder Head Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Yes Posts: 18,500	I actually enjoy meeting people like that, engaging them in conversations and ending showing (in a very polite way), how hypocritical they are. Done it a couple of times on the gay marriage issue and once recently when someone started bashing "fringe" non-Judeo-Christian religions (such as, oh I don't know: Wicca). I derive great pleasure from it and enjoy making the other person feel like an idiot. Nothing so fun as using somebody's own arguments against them. __________________ The thing about quotes on the internet is that you cannot verify their validity. - Abraham Lincoln
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10-31-2005, 02:02 PM	#2
Name Title Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: here Posts: 779	What they don't realize is, my way is the only way..... __________________ Signature
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10-31-2005, 02:08 PM	#3
Prudence Beelzeboobs, Esq. Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Gavel - I haz it Posts: 6,287	I don't necessarily think that judging is wrong, but in most cases it needs to be an internal act. I do think that we might benefit, as a society, if more people paid more attention to how others act and what consequences follow from those actions. Perhaps if more people noted that Action A tends to lead to Negative Consequence B there would be fewer people participting in Action A. However, as I noted, that is in most cases appropriate as an internal exercise. I can observe Action A and evaluate it silently to myself. I can discuss Action A with my spouse back home later. And if I had children and if they happened to see Action A, it would be a really good idea to discuss that later as part of their education. Baring any immediate threat to life or property, however, there is likely no need for me to approach those participating Action A and tell them that I don't approve. They neither need nor want my approval, and while I'm busy sticking my nose in, someone else is observing the negative consequences of my actions and making notes to tell their family later. __________________ traguna macoities tracorum satis de
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10-31-2005, 02:11 PM	#4
Scrooge McSam What? Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 1,635	Dammit Prudence.... This place doesn't make enough mojo for you to keep posting like this.
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10-31-2005, 02:24 PM	#5
Crystal Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 98	SacTown, baby, I Love You! What happened over the weekend has really left me depressed. The people we've had a falling out with have been friends for many years. The wife became aware of my bi-sexuality, something she heard through the grapevine, and now has a need to put me down and treat me as though I am immoral.She feels the need to "save" me and told me I will regret the choices I have made in my personal life. Personally, I feel it really is none of her business, but because we have been friends for so long, it is really difficult to get past this. She is judging mine and SacTowns entire relationship on this one thing that she disapproves of. SacTown and I have the strongest marriage of anyone I know. We have been married for 10 years, together for 15, and friends for 20. We are open and honest with each other, committed to our family and have strong morals and family values.We rarely argue, but engage in mature conversation in regards to any differences we may have. It really bothers me that someone who has little knowledge of the intricate workings of our marriage, someone who has enough marital problems of their own, should choose to judge us in this way. Sorry for the long winded post, but, whew, I feel better already. Thanks!
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10-31-2005, 07:26 PM	#9
Crystal Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 98	Thanks to all of you for your kind words, support and encouragement. I feel alot better after having shared my dilemma and you guys have really lifted my spirits. Sure, it sucks to lose a friendship, but I prefer to not have narrow-minded, self-righteous friends anyway. I think I prefer to hang out here at the LoT, where everyone is accepting of each other, regardless of differences in opinion, lifestyle or what have you. You guys rock! Thanks again for all of your support!
	Submit to Quotes