It's not fair

[Matterhorn Fan]

Originally Posted by Prudence

So whatever it is that you do when you hear things like this, could you please do it?

If you were in town, I'd be baking cookies for you. But you're not, so the best I can do is be sad for you and your family and send my prayers and good thoughts.

[Stan4dSteph]

Prayers for your brother, you and your family.

From what you describe of your brother in this thread, I have faith that he will be able to overcome any obstacles that this surgery might cause.

[AllyOops!]

Pru~

I'll be praying & praying and sending every positive thought your way! Prayer & hope is what always carries me through life's darkest moments. That, and of course, the love and support of friends & family, and you certainly have that here!!

I, too, have been consumed by the very same thoughts you are having! All I can tell you is "don't go there!". Once you are in the dark & guilty abyss, getting out is very tough. Please don't go into punishing yourself! Think of it this way- I've gone there for you already- it's dark and bad so now you never have to go! I'll keep you from it!

When I lost my best friend & my boyfriend, I used to always, always question why I got left behind. They were talented, smart, full of life, fun and everything that should encompass a human being. I've made more mistakes then I care to count. My best friend was my voice of reason. I finally had to tell myself that I will never know the reason until it's my turn to go. Knowing that there isn't an answer here on earth helped me. Even if there was an answer, it would never be one I'd ever undertand, you know?

When my Mom, Stepmom (who I refer to as my sister because we're so close in age) and both of my Grandfathers were diagnosed with cancer, I used to always imagine this invisible tube. They could run it from their body to mine, and the cancer would pour from them into me. Not that I ever wish to have cancer, mind you, but I wanted to be able to take their pain away, and if someone had to have it, it should be me!

When I told my Mom that, it crushed her. She told me, "I would NEVER have wanted you to have it".

Please know you have all the support & love in the world here. You have an abundance from me as well! Maybe we can talk later, okay?

Love & {{{HUGS}}}}

~A

[katiesue]

I'll be sending positive thoughts for you and your brother.

[Eliza Hodgkins 1812]

My thoughts are with you and your family, Pru. In this case, I'd say a disability is far better verdict than death. Given how supportive you are, and I imagine the rest of his family and friends are, he'll get through it, no matter how much hard work it might be. It's heartwrenching, of course. Nothing changes that. But it's where his life is taking him and it is what it is. It's not your fault, of course. It's no one's fault. That's what makes the tragic moments so difficult. There's often nowhere to turn one's anger and sadness but within. That only eats people up.

Steady on, you two.

[Mousey Girl]

I am at a total loss for words.

(((HUGS)))

[Drince88]

Hang in there!
{{Hugs}}

[€uroMeinke]

Good Heavens I'm in horror over what your poor brother has laready had to endure! Sheesh, I will keep both of you in my thoughts and hope either science or a miracle works in his favor.

[alphabassettgrrl]

Your brother is lucky to have such a supportive family. Prayers sent to the gods for all of you.

[Prudence]

It's not a happy update.

I talked to the faculty where I used to work and got a recommendation for "the" guy to see in this area. And he was covered by my brother's medical plan. Which all seemed wonderful...

Except that the referral didn't make it from point A to point B the first time, and everyone pointed their fingers at someone else. And then when it did go through, apparently they were rude to my sister-in-law over the phone and don't have any openings until mid-September. So now my brother says he's embarrassed to even work for the UW since they treat cancer patients so poorly.

And, now he's so upset he's resolved to just go get carved up ASAP and forget trying to find other options.

And it's my fault. Because I got people's hopes up and couldn't make it work and now he'll be a deformed cripple and I get to live with that guilt for the rest of my life. I should never have gotten involved.

So, there's the glorious update. If they tell me when surgery's scheduled, I'll update further, but I suspect I won't know anything until well after.