Is it bad that I agree with this?

[Alex]

Originally Posted by LSPoorEeyorick

You, sir, are on my last nerve.

Sorry to hear that. But now that you are down to only one, which part of your body do you use it to feel?

[Cadaverous Pallor]

Originally Posted by LSPoorEeyorick

You, sir, are on my last nerve.

He said he was doing it to get into trouble.

Besides, is there no one in the world that is fat? Or is that word verboten now?

[Ghoulish Delight]

Originally Posted by LSPoorEeyorick

You, sir, are on my last nerve.

Somewhere in there, Alex has a valid point.

I was recently reading about a debate within the medical community. It seems that for a while now, there has been a tendency in the pediatric field to understate the degree to which a child is medically overweight. Namely, instead of "overweight" or "obese", doctors, to avoid hurt feelings, have been trained to use terms such as, "at risk for obesity", even when a child is overweight by an amount that would have doctors calling adults "overweight" or "obses". Personally, I think that's ludicrous. I don't want my doctor to lie to me to "protect me feelings." If I'm overweight and putting myself at risk for health problems, tell me I'm overweigth and putting myself at risk for health problems.

Obviously, a doctor vs. a school yard bully are two very different cases. But as a society, we seem to be sacrificing a certain amount of honesty in the name of "protecting feelings". Feh to that, I say.

[Prudence]

I said that it was my perception. I'm not in jr. high any more so I have to rely on what I hear from parents, teachers, and counselors, several of whom have expressed frustration that parents of those doing the teasing refuse to permit any discipline of their children, and thus administration holds that the only action that can be taken is to encourage the child being teased to change their appearance so as not to "attract negative attention."

[Prudence]

Originally Posted by Ghoulish Delight

But as a society, we seem to be sacrificing a certain amount of honesty in the name of "protecting feelings". Feh to that, I say.

I don't think society has much interest in being honest. In my experience, society is much more interested in hurting others to make itself feel superior.

[LSPoorEeyorick]

Originally Posted by Cadaverous Pallor

He said he was doing it to get into trouble.

Besides, is there no one in the world that is fat? Or is that word verboten now?

No, it's not verboten. I call myself fat all the time. The word is 25% of my screenplay title. And I don't use it as a pejorative, just a descriptor.

I simply found what he was saying to be crass and glib, whether he knew what her daughter looks like or not. And in general, when people say they're saying things to "get into trouble" I don't hold what's said in much esteem.

[LSPoorEeyorick]

Originally Posted by Ghoulish Delight

Obviously, a doctor vs. a school yard bully are two very different cases. But as a society, we seem to be sacrificing a certain amount of honesty in the name of "protecting feelings". Feh to that, I say.

Oh, I'm completely open to doctors giving us the straight story. That's important. And it's not as though I think that self "fat acceptance" is OK without taking action to take care of yourself. I've said it before and I'll repeat myself: we must both love who we are, and love ourselves enough to take healthy action.

School bullies, or grown-up ones, sacrificing politeness and empathy in favor of being blunt isn't something that interests me, though. If people here spent their time teasing me because of my weight, or repeatedly pointing it out, or telling me how I'm ruining my life... I would not be here anymore.

[Alex]

Originally Posted by LSPoorEeyorick

I simply found what he was saying to be crass and glib, whether he knew what her daughter looks like or not. And in general, when people say they're saying things to "get into trouble" I don't hold what's said in much esteem.

I didn't say I was saying it to get in trouble, just that by saying it I fully expected people to have problems with it. If I want to troll, I'd like to think I'd be better at it than that.

As I said, I have no idea who's children may be fat, though based on the statistics I would guess that at least a quarter of the children of people on this board are fat. In my opinion, whether a kid actually is fat influences how a parent should talk to their kid about the teasing and how the kid itself should respond to teasing.

This does not make the teasing ok. It should still be punished (though not like it were some kind of capital offense). Being teased and learning to deal with it is part of growing up. Learning that teasing is not appropriate is also part of growing up. And for the most part it is a hierarchal cycle, not a latter and kids end up needing to learn both lessons. Both are lessons that many people have trouble learning and, frankly, I find people who make it to adulthood and can't cope with being teased or bullied almost as annoying as people who grow up and haven't learned not to tease and bully.

In the vein of what Prudence mentions, I don't think it is so much parents saying that teasing is ok as being in denial that their kid would actually misbehave. Similarly I think too many parents go too far in protecting their children from kids who are mean or simply don't like them (especially the parents who when confronted with "the kids will make fun of me if I don't have X" then go out and get X for the child).

[LSPoorEeyorick]

Fair enough. Personally, I can handle teasing. But unless it's coming from a place of fondness and good humor (i.e. Audra's reference to "friends taking the p*ss") I'd really rather not be around it.

I quite agree with you about parents who acquiesce to societal pressure on behalf of their children. Particularly of the sixteen-year-old boob job variety.

[wendybeth]

Getting back to the original topic, or somewhere near it anyway....

It's obvious we all have different attitudes about what influences us and to what extent, and there are some who are fortunate enough to have grown up with a healthy attitude. Skinny models don't bother me one way or the other, but if the government of Spain wants to put the kabosh to the silly extremes this whole waif thing has gotten to then that's their business. I don't know enough about Spain's system of government to know if this is legit to do or not, but considering our government's ongoing obsession with applying their idea of what's right and wrong in nearly aspect of our lives, who are we to bitch?

I do try to moderate what my kid is exposed to, but I don't want to be as censor. She has to live in the real world and she has to learn what it's about. All I want is some goddamned pants that fit her right at this point.