POTC Johnny Refurb

[innerSpaceman]

Never a one to disappoint ... I have to report after my inaugural ride this morning that ....I HATED IT!!!



This will come as no big surprise, but perhaps some will be astonished that I actually liked parts of it - - though seemingly not the parts that most everyone else seems to like.

The Good
Though the "classic" version of "Yo Ho" is no longer heard anywhere in the attraction, I rather like just music in the space between the two drops. It's noteworthy, however, that this is authentic Pirates score from 1967 ... because I don't like the music in the main waterfall cavern after the second drop.

Perhaps I just got a bad part of the loop for this area, but it did nothing for me. I preferred the natural cavern sounds. I distinctly dislike the illusion that I am in a movie about a pirate cavern rather than that I am in a pirate cavern. It's a subtle difference, but the mysterious musical score that now pervades too many areas of the attraction is more akin to a movie of an experience - instead of portraying a facsimile of an actual experience.

Admittedly, there has always been an outburst of musical score further along in the cavern, so perhaps it's just the particular music I don't like. In any event, too much underscore is, imo, a poor choice in both movies and rides.

But back to the good stuff. More skeletons on the beach? Fine. New lightning bolts in the stormy sky? Coolness. Skeletons playing chess in the tavern lair? Good stuff.

The Captain's Quarters looks great. I love the touch of the parrot skeleton perched near the ghostly harpsichord. And, oh the Treasure Room! It's absofreakinglutely gorgeous. Stunningly beautiful, in fact. This room has never looked better.


And that's the end of the good stuff. How much trouble will I get into if I take up the habit of getting out of my boat at this point??


The Bad
The Davy Jones mist waterfall does nothing for me. I simply do not understand why everyone is so impressed with this. It's a flat film projection and it doesn't look like anything but.

It's a cheap-shot effect in the Haunted Mansion, and it's a cheap-shot effect in Pirates. Am I supposed to be amazed by film on mist two decades after Fantasmic premiered a few hundred yards from here? Am I supposed to be pleased with a flat film effect in the attraction that is the veritable Mecca of dimensional illusion?

I think not.

And that's to say nothing of what's now missing. The mysterious, dark tunnel with the suddenly vaulted ceiling and the ghostly intonations that are so unbelieveably classic - - not simply because they are traditional, but because they are unsurpassably excellent

No fear have ye of evil curses, says you?
Aaaaarrh.
Properly warned ye be, says I.
Who knows when that evil curse will strike the greedy beholders of this bewitched treasure?

To say that this ride has been diminished is an understatement!

And, I'm not sure after only one ride, but is there even a curse anymore? And was it my imagination, or did they ruin the sightline "reveal" of the battle scene with the lame placement of that cheesy waterfilm effect?

Gak, I hate it!!!


The Ugly
The battle scene with movie music is completely STUPID. Am I in a pirateship battle or am I in a pirate movie??? Why is there a musical score to this event?

This has now gone the way of Indiana Jones and Star Tours by putting recognizable movie music over the experience - - and guests are meant to feel as if they are in the Pirates of the Caribbean movie, much to the detriment of their experience of a real pirate adventure of their own.

And, oh, they should not have had Barbossa say the same lines as the actor he replaced. His delivery is pathetic. Another iconic and excellent performance cast aside for something substandard. Bah.


I have the least amount of problems with Johnny Depp. I really don't care that he's here and there, or that he looks like a real human - in contrast to all the other characters. Of course, he pops up in the barrel a little too quickly after you've seen him at the well. If you crane your head, you can see both Depps at the same time. It's absurd. (Kinda reminds me of the time two Plutos caught sight of each other in DCA, heheh.) There's a reason characters appear only once in all other Disneyland attractions. That lesson was ignored, and the result is laughable.

Oh, and far from reversing the last disastrous set of Pirates revisions, the pirates are still, to the last man, being chased by women. So much for the punchline created by the brilliant imagineers of '67. And so much for the politically incorrect and naughty ways of Jack Sparrow having any good effect on the dumbing down of this ride.


The treasure closet in the powder-keg room is also a stupid idea. WTF? And yeah, I'm pretty sick of Johnny Depp at this point.



But Depp's nowhere near the worst of the problems. The heart of the ride has been butchered. The spooky tunnel and the pirateship battle have been ruined - yes, I say Ruined.



After the obligatory round of introducing everyone to this travesty, you will find me avoiding this ride in future. What a frelling shame. I hope to live to see the removal of all this movie crap when memory of the all-but-guaranteed-to-be-inferior sequels fades to dust.

[Eliza Hodgkins 1812]

Originally Posted by innerSpaceman

I distinctly dislike the illusion that I am in a movie about a pirate cavern rather than that I am in a pirate cavern.

I have no idea why Disney couldn't have just been happy with their great/fun/fantastic pirates ride and the great/fun/fantastic movie based on the pirates ride. Why did they have to go and marry the two? I honestly thought they were adding in Jack Sparrow into one or two scenes. I didn't really understand that it was a complete re-do. I didn't know they were going to change the narration, change the music, etc., etc., etc.

I'm tempted to not see it for myself, to keep in tact the memory of the ride I love, and continue to enjoy its derivative film.

God. It's like that time I was in a book store and saw the book adaptation of Little Women that was based on the movie Little Women that was based on the *actual* Little Women book.

What. The. FRIG? Read the original book, dammit. Don't read the book based on the movie based on the book.

Just like that, I don't want to ride a Pirates that's based on the movie Pirates that's based on the ride Pirates. I JUST WANT TO RIDE THE ORIGINAL PIRATES. And watch the movie now and again.

Bummer!

[Gn2Dlnd]

Sorry for the re-rail, but I'm completely heartbroken over Pirates. I finally got to go on it last night, and finally read this thread.

I don't want to use spoiler tags, so take this as your warning.

I entered the Park just after 6 pm. The plan was to ride Pirates and eat at Cafe Orleans because my SoCal pass turned into a pumpkin the next day. The evening started out okay enough. First thing was to get a fastpass for Space Mountain - 10:55-11:55, perfect. Then I had dinner at the new Cafe Orleans, which I enjoyed. Hideously slow service - and they ran out of ice. Took about 20 minutes after seating to get an iced tea. Note to Lisa: I'm jealous of a certain bulldog named Lulu. The food was good, the presentation was beautiful. The bonus was that the cutest boy in Disneyland came over and talked to me for about 20 minutes after I mentioned that I'd seen him hosting at the Blue Bayou. I gave him my card, I hope he calls.
I got in line for Pirates. Maybe a half-hour. Fantasmic was beginning as we entered the building. Having seen the picures from the LoT attempted boat sinking, I knew that they'd overloaded our boat. Sure enough, we got stuck at the first drop. 10 minutes of the Jolly Roger is quite enough for me. But, I'm thinking, I really like the new drapes they've given him, this bodes well. Eventually they turn on the lights and come shove us over the drop. Wasn't Tyler the guy that had to push the LoT boat too? Maybe this is his specialty, fat people boat pusher. So we make it down the second drop with no problem and I'm hearing new music. Interesting, kind of gives the island a more somber mood.

Interesting.

I love the new thunder and lightning effects in the storm vignette, gorgeous. For the NEXT 30 MINUTES! The ride was completely backed up. Announcements eventually came reminding us to remain seated blah blah blah. When did they drop the usage of "host or hostess" and switch to "cast member"? At some point they finally turned off the sound. Another ten minutes of sitting in a boat. By this time we had a couple of cast members standing off to our left waiting to help us evacuate the attraction. Well, I've never been walked off a ride before, so this seems like fun. Fun like the Bataan death march. I don't think they could have done this slower. Handed out front-of-line passes for any ride but pirates. At 10:45, I'd call this a somewhat empty gesture.



I take a walk over to Mansion, and, guess what, its closed! The ride may be open in 5 minutes, maybe 10, maybe a half-hour, we don't know. No, its not related to Pirates.

Phooey.

I take a walk around the Park. The new cement work in Tomorrowland looks right out of an industrial park. The future is poured concrete.

My entire goal for tonight, now, is to ride Pirates. I decide to go wait outside the ride on the chance that they re-open. What can I lose? Well, as soon as the second performance of Fantasmic ends, they open the ropes. Suddenly its a Rage Against the Machine concert. I'm buying myself a poking stick, "This is how far away from me you have to stand, poke-poke." 5 minutes of line, onto another clearly overloaded boat, and awaaay we go. This time I see the shooting star and notice that they've added a phrase of "Yo Ho" to the banjo picking. Sweet. First drop, guess what? Yessireebob, we get to wait for the lights to come on and CMs to push us over the drop. This time I notice that no pirates are singing, after the first drop the music is entirely instrumental. After the second drop, I get to hear the moody island music again - still interesting. In a suicidal way. This time we get all the way past the Treasure Cave and through Davey Jones (wasn't he the cute Monkee?) and into the Battle scene. Love the set dressing in the vignettes, not sold on Davey Jones, completely not sold on the change in dialogue. Battle scene, how can I describe it? The Geoffrey Rush AA looks like it had a stroke. The cannon effects are impressive.

The music.

The music sucks. The sucking music is the real first indication that I'm not liking this re-do at all. Ths scene does not need music, sucking or otherwise. The boat gets stuck at the exit of the Battle scene, ensuring that I get to listen to the sucking music for the next ten minutes.
The boat is facing the Dunking scene, which I can see, but not really hear. From here, I can see the first Captain Jack, and the animatronic is impressive.
At about ten minutes in, they shut off the sound, and cycle us through the rest of the ride with the sound off. The sound comes on for the Jail Scene.

Did I mention that on this ride-through my seatmate was a brand-spankin' new CM who was eager to tell me all the things I was about to see, the changes that had been made, and counted down "3-2-1, IMPACT!" everytime another boat bumped us?

WTF is that last Captain Jack scene? Anyone know? A slightly off-key, slow, moody version of "Yo Ho" is not the way to end the ride. Show biz rule number one: Give 'em a big finish, and they'll forgive almost anything. This show ends with a mortally wounded whimper.

Okay, as we're floating up to the unload dock we see people lined up outside the closed attraction. Clearly they're about to let people in. An effort was made to clear those of us exiting out of the building, but I stood my ground. In 10 minutes my AP won't be good until August, I'm going on this damn thing again. Fortunately my outside voice was on its best behavior.

Reload, "NO ONE IN ROWS 1 OR 6," they're finally getting a clue, and we're off. A row to my fat-a$$ self, how luxurious. The drops occur without incident, I don't like no pirates singing, I'm beginning to dislike the Moody Island Music, I'm hating the change in dialogue and mood in the tunnel, the sucky music in the Battle scene is now making me very sad. The town scenes look great, the Captain Jack animatronics are fine, thanks very much for restoring the impending rape scene, and then we're back to Downer Jack at the lift hill. I hate Downer Jack.

I exit the ride at 11:58, Space Mountain FP still in my wallet, and walk into Mansion as the closing spiel is playing. Hey, the ghost horse is back!

They've ruined Pirates. Iconic dialogue has been removed throughout the attraction, the theme doesn't get sung until after the Auction scene, the new music is heavy and morose, and, as the ride ends, Downer Jack is there to underscore the fact that, for whatever reason, they've decided to suck the fun out of the ride. Pirates has always been the heart and soul of Disneyland for me, I'm starting to wonder if its time for this 43 year old adult to get a new hobby.

[Gemini Cricket]

Wow! Two thumbs down reviews in a row.

'Row'. HA ha.

Must. ride. for. myself! .... Arrrrrrgh....

[lizziebith]

Gosh! Those two reviews are so thorough and compelling. POTC for me, and I'm sure for many (most?) of you, is THE DL experience. I was upset enough over the PC changes...but still I rode. These reviews, however, have brought me into a territory previously reserved for the Star Wars Special Edition releases: the "I will not sully myself, and color my experience, by viewing same" realm.

I don't have anywhere near the Disney-Geek knowledge that most of you have, but I do have a loooong history of the park experience, as it used to be nearly in my backyard, and the previous generation in my family made up some of the park's earliest CMs. Still and all, some changes can be good -- I'm not an anti-change Nazi -- but some things, particularly in a place that evokes nostalgia purposefully, ought to be left alone.

[Not Afraid]

Did anyone else notice the voice of Davy Jones on the lift? He says a few different things but we caught a lame impression of "You may not Sur-VIVE" from the cavern.

[Cadaverous Pallor]

I am not surprised that after such repeatedly horrific experiences - being stuck on the drops, sound problems, walked off the ride, annoying CM next to you - that Gn2Dlnd didn't enjoy it.

As for iSm - yeah, I figured you'd say all that.

Did either of you actually head to City Hall?

I realize I only posted a few things earlier, so here's a few more.

The Davy Jones waterfall is really cool because it looks like a real waterfall. I can't tell you what Davy said at all, because I was busy being impressed by boats passing under what appeared to be a waterfall. I enjoyed going under it myself. I agree that he looked 2D....but the waterfall!!

Is it just me or did they NOT get Depp and Rush to do their own voices? WTF?

The Depp Treasure Closet is dumb, totally thrown in there.

I enjoyed nearly all the other changes and boosted effects, and do not think that the ride has been ruined. I have to admit, screaming bloody murder because they put music in a scene seems a bit over the top to me. I love all y'all to death but come on, it's a bit of music. The only point I'll concede on that is that there's too much sound in the battle sequence and it makes the dialogue hard to understand. But just the concept of adding music doesn't make me freak out.

That said - I've only ridden it once, opinions subject to change without notice

[scaeagles]

I have a question for you all (particularly those who do not like it) that may not be possible for you to answer.

If you were a first time rider, what would you think of it? Nothing previous to compare it to, just what do you think of it as an experience.

I was never a fan of the Country Bear Jamboree - it was OK, I'd see it once a trip with the family - but not repeatable. They replaced it with something that sucks all by itself. Without reference to the CBJ, I can say that Pooh sucks.

[Not Afraid]

Compared to a boat ride at a carnival, it is incredible! It is still an amazing attraction, it's just not as amazing as it once was.

[MickeyLumbo]

there once was a time when people bitterly complained about the changes made to Walt Disney's original Fantasyland. without consideration to the historical value or guest reaction, imagineers did the unthinkable: moved King Authur's carousel back away from the congested area behind Sleeping Beauty Castle and relocated the Mad Tea Party near a friggin mountain! and they didn't stop there- oh no. the colorful carnival and medieval design of the area was transformed into a Bavarian Village!!!




um, Walt was always about "addin' and a plussin'... "as long is there is imagination left in the world..."

i give the New Fantasyland a thumbs up. and Harold in the Matterhorn. and the new scenes/effects in Pirates. I really enjoyed myself on each ride.

It's not a museum!

ok, ok, i'll admit, now it's time to fix Tomorrowland