Dear:

[SzczerbiakManiac]

Dear SzczerbiakManiac,

The next time you fill up your water bottle at the cooler, be sure to screw the cap back on ALL the way, not just half-way, before you tilt it back for a swig. Your shirt and pants will stay dryer that way.

Thanks,
Your Wet Clothes

[SacTown Chronic]

Originally Posted by SzczerbiakManiac

Dear SzczerbiakManiac,

The next time you fill up your water bottle at the cooler, be sure to screw the cap back on ALL the way, not just half-way, before you tilt it back for a swig. Your shirt and pants will stay dryer that way.

Thanks,
Your Wet Clothes

Dear Time Machine,

Activate.

Thanks,
STC

7 years ago.....

Dear Cat,

Screw the tobasco cap back on -- don't just set the cap on the bottle. If you do this then daddy won't accidentally squirt tobasco sauce in your eye when he shakes the bottle.

Love,
Dad (who always felt guilty even though it wasn't his fault AT ALL)

[LSPoorEeyorick]

Dear Cat,

You liked Tabasco when you were... what were you seven years ago, like, six? You were a brave little Sactownlet. I don't eat Tabasco and I'm 27 years old.

Cheers,
LSPE

[SacTown Chronic]

Dear LSPE,

Oh yes. Tobasco, jalapenos, salsa on everything. You name it - if it's hot - she probably likes it. Always has.

Love,
Cat's dad

[tracilicious]

Originally Posted by LSPoorEeyorick

Dear Cat,

You liked Tabasco when you were... what were you seven years ago, like, six? You were a brave little Sactownlet. I don't eat Tabasco and I'm 27 years old.

Cheers,
LSPE

Dear LSPE,

I was 16 before I could handle mild salsa. Baby Jade loves the enchiladas that are spicy for me.

Yours truly,
A Wimp

Dear Baby Jade,

The enchiladas from TJ's were like the one food that I didn't have to share. Thanks a lot.

Love,
Mama

[Freaky Tiki]

Dear 20,000 Christian Music Festival People Invading My Town: Go Home.

P.S. Upon further investigation I'm changing it to "Dear Over 25000 Christian Music Festival People"

[LSPoorEeyorick]

Dear makers of Realemon Lemon Juice,

The use of "real" and "lemon" used in proximity to your juice offends me. This afternoon, I used it in place of a juiced lemon for my parents' lemon viniagrette recipe. Then I poured it on my Living Trail Mix from Jazzy Sprouts for lunch.

I just want to say that Lemon Pledge or Lemon Pine Sol has more in common with lemon flavor that realemon does. And might taste slightly better.

When life gives you lemons, don't chemically "enhance" the lemonade.
Sincerely,
LSPE

[Prudence]

Dear self-important busy-body patron in the microfilm section of Suzzallo library:

I realize that in the many years since my job was to locate and print out articles from microfilm for off-campus patrons I have lost some of my dexterity and it now takes me a whole second to line up the notch on the reel with the bump on the spindle.

However, I don't think that required you springing from your seat halfway down the bank of readers and racing over to shout at me "You must be doing something wrong!!!"

It definitely did not require a mini lecture (as I tried to ignore you) on what will happen if I load the reel improperly.

Your parting shot that I need to learn how to read the instructions was entirely uncalled for.

I successfully navigated the first two reels; what made you think that the third was going to go terribly, horribly wrong?

Was your Cream of Wheat extra lumpy this morning? Did hooligans steal your favorite seat on the bus? Perhaps some spry young thing refused to let you cut in line at the corner market?

Go back to your conspiracy research and leave me the hell alone.

No love,
Me.

[Ghoulish Delight]

Dear Giovani Carrara,

First off, we appreciate all that you've done for the Dodgers. It really is amazing how you manage to elevate your game when playing for the Dodgers. You've pitched out of some tights spots as a reliever, and pitched well.

But what in God's name posessed you to throw that pitch to Jim Edmonds last night? Jim Edmonds hits pitches like that into the bleachers for a living, and he's been doing it for 13 years, so this can't be a surprise to you. You threw 8 pithces otuside, which is exactly where you should pitch to him in situations where he can hurt you. But pitch 9, you decide to get cute? With 2 outs, 1st base open, and a rookie who had already blown 2 bases loaded situations on deck? That's when you decide to try to come inside to Jim freaking Edmonds? Just walk him and work the rookie, you have nothing to prove. There's no shame in walking Jim Edmonds. If we were managing the team, you'd be fined for throwing that pitch.

- Sincerely,
Dodger fans everywhere

[scaeagles]

Dear GD,

I don't know the situation, but is it possible he didn't throw the pitch there on purpose and it was a control issue rather than a decision to challenge him?

A non-baseball fan