Religious Freedom

[tracilicious]

Thanks all.

Originally Posted by Snowflake

To those who call you a friend and then rescind their friendship based on your status with any church are not your real friends. Wave them goodbye and wish them well and go forward to find new friends, you will find many on this planet I am sure!

No, they really are good people. They've just been trained to believe that you can't associate with people who have "abandoned God." I have no doubt that if/when they do find out that they will be very hurt.

Originally Posted by Strangler Lewis

Congratulations, and very brave! Do you want to spill on what group, so we can close the door extra hard when they come knocking?

Not really. I bear no ill will towards any members. I met many good people throughout my life as a member. As Rstar put it, it was the legalism that turned me off of it, not most of the people.

[Alex]

Tracilicious, I disassociated myself when I was 14 and it was pretty stressful. And it is hard because for the most part they are all wonderful people and completely earnest in what they believe and what they believe really isn't all that bad. And while I understand why non-believers find them annoying I also understand why they do what they do anyway and it really is an act of love and compassion for them.

But I quickly learned that religion and an inner certainty that in all likelihood god doesn't exist were hard to reconcile. But it was still a tough thing for a 14-year-old to stand up to his congregations elder and explain that I was pretty sure they (and all religious people) were sharing in a mass delusion.

So, to say it all backhanded, while I think your beliefs are equally silly as what you were raised with, I am glad you have come to terms with how you want to live your live and that is the important thing.

But don't start celebrating your birthday, that is just silliness that should be trimmed from polite society.

[Alex]

Oh, and while it certainly changed my relationships I found that hardly anybody took the hardest line interpretation of not associating with the lapsed.

Hopefully you'll find that to be true as well, particularly within the family (but I know that is something that seems to vary a lot from region to region).

[tracilicious]

Originally Posted by Alex Stroup

Tracilicious, I disassociated myself when I was 14 and it was pretty stressful.

Wow, leaving at such a young age must have been really difficult. You've got a backbone, that's for sure.

And it is hard because for the most part they are all wonderful people and completely earnest in what they believe and what they believe really isn't all that bad. And while I understand why non-believers find them annoying I also understand why they do what they do anyway and it really is an act of love and compassion for them.

Agreed. This also makes it impossible for any of them to understand the mentallity of someone that leaves.

But I quickly learned that religion and an inner certainty that in all likelihood god doesn't exist were hard to reconcile. But it was still a tough thing for a 14-year-old to stand up to his congregations elder and explain that I was pretty sure they (and all religious people) were sharing in a mass delusion.

See above comment about backbone. I'm lucky in that we have very few ties left to any members. Only immediate family and two friends that live out of state.

So, to say it all backhanded, while I think your beliefs are equally silly as what you were raised with, I am glad you have come to terms with how you want to live your live and that is the important thing.

Lol, I'm glad that you squeezed in some classic Alex Stroup. I'm not 110% sure in my newfound beliefs yet, but to me they are quite a bit less silly. I no longer believe one group has all the answers about the bible, or even that the bible is completely true. I tried being Atheist for a short while, but it was so depressing.

But don't start celebrating your birthday, that is just silliness that should be trimmed from polite society.

There's hardly a holiday in existence that isn't about getting presents or eating food. Birthdays are no different. I could frankly care less about my own though. Michael is terrible at presents anyways and our anniversary is two days later. I am happy that we'll be able to celebrate the kids' birthdays, as I think it was getting difficult for Indi knowing that all his friends do it and not understanding why he didn't.

[Mousey Girl]

I agree. My church going days ended when I over heard my college/church friends make a comment after my wedding, "What a wedding." It was said very snarky. I felt bad that they didn't like it. David is not religious, neither are his parents/family. My parents are boderline athiest, though my mom is more agnostic that anything else. We did have an ordained minister preforming the wedding, my sister's father-in-law. It was very casual, held in our backyard. Their one comment was enough to show how closed minded they were.

My sister belongs to a huge church in Tehachapi. Between Sunday service and her girls being in Awanas they go at least 3 times a week. All of the kids in the church are either enrolled in the church's private school or are home schooled. These girls worry me because they are so sheltered. When they are finally allowed into the real world they will have no life skills to cope with what comes at them.

My sister has her entire church praying for me with my home situation. She is begging me and Nickolas to go to church with her. I just can't justify going. Maybe that will change after we go up there for Hannah's baptism in October, but I doubt it.

My whole issue revolves around how they treat people they deem as unworthy.

[Strangler Lewis]

Originally Posted by Mousey Girl

These girls worry me because they are so sheltered. When they are finally allowed into the real world they will have no life skills to cope with what comes at them.

The one home-schooled baby sitter that we had was a minister's daughter who was 13 going on 45. However, if "life skills" means making dangerous mistakes so that you learn not to make them again, I'm not sure that's a terrific life skill for children to pick up, though it is inevitable to some extent. If "coping" means having the vocabulary to say no to dangerous behavior, that vocabulary will almost certainly come from some strong presence in the child's life be it family or religion that teaches (bludgeons?) the child with who he or she is and why some things just are not done.

Originally Posted by Mousey Girl

My sister has her entire church praying for me with my home situation.

Be careful who prays for you. Every sick person that the priest at my wife's church prayed for was gone just like that. Oddly, when he got lung cancer, he lived much longer than was expected.

[Cadaverous Pallor]

I'm very happy for you, Traci. Only you know what's best for you and your kids.

Those of us from restrictive backgrounds can appreciate a more free adulthood. I'll go back to synagogue someday, but my POV on all that has changed a lot since I was a kid.

[Not Afraid]

Congratulations on making a decisions about what's best for you and your family. Happy Halloween! Happy Thanksgiving! Merry Christmas! Happy Birthday!

[Gemini Cricket]

Welcome!
I made that same decision when I was about 15 or 16 or so.
It freed me. My mind opened like a parachute.
Don't let people tell you that just because you're not in a religion that you're not a good person. 'Cuz we know you are.

[xharryb]

Congrats on the newfound freedom! I applaud your choice to use your own brain and make your own choices that are best for YOU. I hope it brings you much happiness.