Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull [use spoiler tags, please]

[Gemini Cricket]

There you go again not knowing things.

Empire was the best of the series.

[innerSpaceman]

That's what they all say. They should "all" watch it with me, and see if they can discount any of my zillion things wrong with it. Makes Indy 4 look like a masterpiece of flawlessness.

[Gemini Cricket]

Who would have thunk it?
Sex and the City is predicted to take this weekend with $55 mil while Indy will get $46.
I thought for sure Indy would have been #1 again this weekend...

[LashStoat]

Well, Lashbear and I saw Indy 4 – in fact we have now seen it twice. I’m glad the film exists, as I have always enjoyed “the wild ride” nature of the Indy series. A bit of “suspension of disbelief” is not in itself a bad thing – unless it’s done …umm… badly.

These things come to mind (in order of badly first):

• The Tarzan scene. Fvck that was bad.
• Nazca gets 0.75” of rain/year. That’s why the glyphs have survived all this time. With three waterfalls, it must have been the CGI rainy season. In fact, it was the CGI everything season. Glyphs, forest and temple in the same shot.
• Selective magnetism controlled by a hessian sack, but not a sealed metal crate.
• How does one reset those 2 billion ton sand-controlled obelisks?
• Secreted natives dropping from (irreplaceable?) carvings in the ceiling. Do they get fed through a straw on mashed bugs and moss juice?
• Angry natives in general – who, what, where, why?
• Thirteen crystal skeletons do not equal one fleshy space geek.
• Poison darts have poison tips, not poison shafts.
• A lead-lined refrigerator. WTF? I want cold food, not heavy food.
• Jeeps as fast as a rocket sled (as spotted by G.D)
• TV being played to fiberglass dummies.
• Running water outside, but not inside “Kaboom Town”.

I’m sure that your list will be the same but different to mine. That’s OK though – different strokes for different folks. Except for the Tarzan scene. Fvck that was bad. Perhaps I'll wait for a "Directors Cut" version before I buy the four-disc trilogy, and hope the vines are the first to go...

Love and hugs,

The Stoat.

[Moonliner]

Originally Posted by LashStoat

Well, Lashbear and I saw Indy 4 – in fact we have now seen it twice. I’m glad the film exists, as I have always enjoyed “the wild ride” nature of the Indy series. A bit of “suspension of disbelief” is not in itself a bad thing – unless it’s done …umm… badly.

These things come to mind (in order of badly first):

• The Tarzan scene. Fvck that was bad.
• Nazca gets 0.75” of rain/year. That’s why the glyphs have survived all this time. With three waterfalls, it must have been the CGI rainy season. In fact, it was the CGI everything season. Glyphs, forest and temple in the same shot.
• Selective magnetism controlled by a hessian sack, but not a sealed metal crate.
• How does one reset those 2 billion ton sand-controlled obelisks?
• Secreted natives dropping from (irreplaceable?) carvings in the ceiling. Do they get fed through a straw on mashed bugs and moss juice?
• Angry natives in general – who, what, where, why?
• Thirteen crystal skeletons do not equal one fleshy space geek.
• Poison darts have poison tips, not poison shafts.
• A lead-lined refrigerator. WTF? I want cold food, not heavy food.
• Jeeps as fast as a rocket sled (as spotted by G.D)
• TV being played to fiberglass dummies.
• Running water outside, but not inside “Kaboom Town”.

I’m sure that your list will be the same but different to mine. That’s OK though – different strokes for different folks. Except for the Tarzan scene. Fvck that was bad. Perhaps I'll wait for a "Directors Cut" version before I buy the four-disc trilogy, and hope the vines are the first to go...

Love and hugs,

The Stoat.

Ahh but don't you see? They got you! You were so swept up in these details that you apparently failed to notice the entire lack of a story.

Lucas and Spielberg should get SusieAnne Krellingshaw to pen the next installment.

[LashStoat]

SusieAnne Krellingshaw, aged 11.5, of Arkansas, is currently studying script writing at the Arkansas Heights lower junior school. Topping her class with the well-renowned article she wrote on “Whale Bacon”, SusieAnne is tipped to be the screen writer for the next Indiana Jones blockbuster.

In her own words, SusieAnne says that “Indiana Jones in the Archeological Monument and Object with Mystical Powers will depart from the previous four titles in that the 'Object' will in fact be a soft burrito"…and she’s insistent that it be a real one.

Even at the tender young age of 11.5, Ms. Krellingshaw “sees the world as a rather aggressive, silicon-obsessed place”. To counter this, Indiana will grace our screen sporting a soft burrito in most scenes – including the most romantic scene where his walking frame snags the edge of a rug and Marion catches his burrito in her false teeth.

As for the “Archeological Monument” – SusieAnne isn’t saying much…but yours truly is laying money on the Mexican Stand at L.A Airport.

[Cadaverous Pallor]

I'm so glad the Stoat is around

[LashStoat]

Howdy Ms. Pallor,

Thanks for the mojo. Mr EuroMinke gave me some too. I've responded to heaps of threads to day. Check out the "Treadmill as a desk" thread. SusieAnnes' been hard at work today.

Love and hugs,

The Stoat XXX

[Not Afraid]

Stoat, you just made my day better.

[LashStoat]

Smooch XXX