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Old 04-11-2006, 05:49 PM   #231
innerSpaceman
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Oh, I'd have Lisa post it verbatim, but she's in Boston.
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Old 04-11-2006, 05:57 PM   #232
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In her absence (which of course takes some of the enjoyment out of this), let me enlamen Alex:

Title: Argument Sketch
From: Monty Python's Flying Circus
Transcribed By: unknown


A man walks into an office.

Man: Good morning, I'd like to have an argument, please.
Receptionist: Certainly, sir. Have you been here before?
Man: No, this is my first time.
Receptionist: I see, well we'll see who's free at the moment.
Mr. Bakely's free, but he's a little bit concilliatory. No.
Try Mr. Barnhart, room 12.
Man: Thank you.

He enters room 12.

Angry man: WHADDAYOU WANT?
Man: Well, Well, I was told outside that...
Angry man: DON'T GIVE ME THAT, YOU SNOTTY-FACED EVIL PAN OF DROPPINGS!
Man: What?
A: SHUT YOUR FESTERING GOB, YOU TIT! YOUR TYPE MAKES ME PUKE! YOU VACUOUS
STUFFY-NOSED MALODOROUS PERVERT!!!
M: Yes, but I came here for an argument!!
A: OH! Oh! I'm sorry! This is abuse!
M: Oh! Oh I see!
A: Aha! No, you want room 12A, next door.
M: Oh...Sorry...
A: Not at all!
A: (under his breath) stupid git.

The man goes into room 12A. Another man is sitting behind a desk.

Man: Is this the right room for an argument?
Other Manpause) I've told you once.
Man: No you haven't!
Other Man: Yes I have.
M: When?
O: Just now.
M: No you didn't!
O: Yes I did!
M: You didn't!
O: I did!
M: You didn't!
O: I'm telling you, I did!
M: You didn't!
O: Oh I'm sorry, is this a five minute argument, or the full half hour?
M: Ah! (taking out his wallet and paying) Just the five minutes.
O: Just the five minutes. Thank you.
O: Anyway, I did.
M: You most certainly did not!
O: Now let's get one thing perfectly clear: I most definitely told you!
M: Oh no you didn't!
O: Oh yes I did!
M: Oh no you didn't!
O: Oh yes I did!
M: Oh no you didn't!
O: Oh yes I did!
M: Oh no you didn't!
O: Oh yes I did!
M: Oh no you didn't!
O: Oh yes I did!
M: Oh no you didn't!
O: Oh yes I did!
M: No you DIDN'T!
O: Oh yes I did!
M: No you DIDN'T!
O: Oh yes I did!
M: No you DIDN'T!
O: Oh yes I did!
M: Oh look, this isn't an argument!

(pause)

O: Yes it is!
M: No it isn't!

(pause)

M: It's just contradiction!
O: No it isn't!
M: It IS!
O: It is NOT!
M: You just contradicted me!
O: No I didn't!
M: You DID!
O: No no no!
M: You did just then!
O: Nonsense!
M: (exasperated) Oh, this is futile!!
(pause)
O: No it isn't!
M: Yes it is!
(pause)
M: I came here for a good argument!
O: AH, no you didn't, you came here for an argument!
M: An argument isn't just contradiction.
O: Well! it CAN be!
M: No it can't!
M: An argument is a connected series of statement intended to establish a
proposition.
O: No it isn't!
M: Yes it is! 'tisn't just contradiction.
O: Look, if I *argue* with you, I must take up a contrary position!
M: Yes but it isn't just saying "no it isn't".
O: Yes it is!
M: No it isn't!
O: Yes it is!
M: No it isn't!
O: Yes it is!
M: No it ISN'T! Argument is an intellectual process. Contradiction is just
the automatic gainsaying of anything the other person says.
O: It is NOT!
M: It is!
O: Not at all!
M: It is!

The Arguer hits a bell on his desk and stops.

O: Thank you, that's it.
M: (stunned) What?
O: That's it. Good morning.
M: But I was just getting interested!
O: I'm sorry, the five minutes is up.
M: That was never five minutes!!
O: I'm afraid it was.
M: (leading on) No it wasn't.....
O: I'm sorry, I'm not allowed to argue any more.
M: WHAT??
O: If you want me to go on arguing, you'll have to pay for another five
minutes.
M: But that was never five minutes just now!
Oh Come on!
Oh this is...
This is ridiculous!
O: I told you...
I told you, I'm not allowed to argue unless you PAY!
M: Oh all right. (takes out his wallet and pays again.) There you are.
O: Thank you.
M: (clears throat) Well...
O: Well WHAT?
M: That was never five minutes just now.
O: I told you, I'm not allowed to argue unless you've paid!
M: Well I just paid!
O: No you didn't!
M: I DID!!!
O: YOU didn't!
M: I DID!!!
O: YOU didn't!
M: I DID!!!
O: YOU didn't!
M: I DID!!!
O: YOU didn't!
M: I-dbct-fd-tq! I don't want to argue about it!
O: Well I'm very sorry but you didn't pay!
M: Ah hah! Well if I didn't pay, why are you arguing??? Ah HAAAAAAHHH!
Gotcha!
O: No you haven't!
M: Yes I have!
If you're arguing, I must have paid.
O: Not necessarily.
I *could* be arguing in my spare time.
M: I've had enough of this!
O: No you haven't.
(door slam)


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Old 04-11-2006, 06:01 PM   #233
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Oh, I have seen that.
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Old 04-11-2006, 06:02 PM   #234
wendybeth
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(Looking about for Alex, who was here mere moments ago)

He's buggered off!*






*(Another Python reference)
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Old 04-11-2006, 06:02 PM   #235
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Whoops, sorry- you came back whilst I was posting.....
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Old 04-11-2006, 06:09 PM   #236
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Yay! And right now I'm an sitting in my copyright class, where we are discussing Gilliam v. American Broadcasting Cos. - on the topic of moral (har har) rights.

It's synergy!
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Old 04-11-2006, 06:18 PM   #237
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex Stroup
Since Monty Python is the ultimate in lame, I'm unfamiliar with that skit.
I was just getting ready to ban Alex then he has to go and say something sensible.

DAMN.
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Old 04-11-2006, 07:46 PM   #238
Nephythys
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The funny thing is, I was neither upset nor mad. And I know that better than anyone here, so rely on it.

Also- I made it clear in the line ISM called borderline fighting words that it did not apply to all dems- that removes the blanket from blanket statement.

Sac- credit for the wittiest remark regarding my comment on Delay. Bravo.

I had little time today, given more I will post links to the voter issues/immigration issues I referenced- but to assume I am trolling for a fight or flamebaiting for kicks is a negative assumption that is wrong-

Until later-g'night.
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Old 04-11-2006, 09:07 PM   #239
BarTopDancer
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That is a very interesting article WB.

I was thinking...

We have the Million Man March...
We have these marches by Latinos...
We have the Million Mom March...

What would happen if a bunch of white men and women started marching? How soon would the screams of racisim and KKK start?
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Old 04-11-2006, 09:49 PM   #240
The Shadoe
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BarTopDancer
What would happen if a bunch of white men and women started marching? How soon would the screams of racisim and KKK start?
I can't say what would happen, but the screams of racism would come from the fact that you can't create a "club" when you are the dominant members of society. For instance, I could set up a White club table at a diversity event, and get accused of racism. It's not really racist, but more of the fact that it is the dominant society, so what purpose do white people have of banding together considering that it's mostly white people who control everything.

My views on illegal immigration match CNN's Lou Dobbs:
Quote:
There are 280 million legal citizens of this country. They are the ones carrying the burden of 20 million illegal immigrants. Oh, it's a great benefit for illegal employers. But don't you dare suggest that it is a benefit to working men and women, who are watching $200 billion of wages disappear every year because of illegal immigration. They're paying for their health care. They're paying for their children in schools that are overcrowded. We are failing the people who built this country, the American middle-class. Don't tell me how important illegal immigration is, because it's utter nonsense.
As my political science professor has said multiple times, "Politics makes strange bedfellows." In this case it applies to how so many elites on both the right and the left seem to be ignoring general American opinion on this issue. To boot, these people are trying to paint the vast majority of Americans who want the borders enforced as radical and unreasonable, which I find quite insulting. Our leaders who are making excuses for breaking the law are the radical and unreasonable ones, not those of us who want our laws enforced!
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