Kinsey and Bisexuality - Page 3

alphabassettgrrl · 01-16-2005, 05:34 PM

Kinsey did some fascinating stuff. According to his theory, though, he'd class me as straight, when I am most assuredly not. Just lately haven't had anything going on with chickies. Maybe I'm just a bit gunshy - DP, you know who was most recently in my life. :: shudder::

Not a happy thing. She acted like I was the greatest thing and then out of the blue I because a horrible bug that needed to either crawl back under a rock or be squished. Yeah, thanks. I know it's her problem not mine but it's still unpleasant.

I have retreated from the gay community. Part of it is lack of energy. Part is I'm tired of getting nasty looks when they see my wedding rings. Part is I'm feeling unattractive- who'd possibly want me? Part is that I can't really bring her back to my home, and sex in the back seat just seems so... something. I don't know, but I just really don't want to go there. So I don't have much to offer at this point. So I have pulled back.

Honestly, behavior is only one factor. Sure, it's more visible than feelings or fantasies, but it certainly doesn't tell the whole story.

**hugs**
-kerry, a 4.5

LSPoorEeyorick · 01-16-2005, 06:38 PM

I don't think that Kinsey's point was that we are all intrinsically bisexual, but rather, that there are different shades of that gray. I think that there are probably just as many 0s and 6s out there as there are 1s through 5s.

I always thought I was about a 1. I love gender studies and seeing gender lines crossed. I think women are terrifically attractive; watching "Secretary" I'll be equally turned on by Spader and Gyllenhaal. I freely admit that boobs are cool. But if Kinsey's judging only on behavior and not identification... I guess I'd have to place myself at a 0 or an 0.5. When it comes down to it, although I register attraction, I simply haven't ever fallen in love with a woman or felt the same yearning I have felt for men. Still, I wouldn't rule it out. If the man I'm in love with was, hypothetically, a woman, I think I'd probably swing that way.

As for the film, I saw Kinsey soonafter it came out, and though I found it intellectually stimulating, I didn't feel as much emotional resonance as I wanted from it.

Not Afraid · 01-16-2005, 08:18 PM

hehehehe. He said cut. teeheehee

Gn2Dlnd · 01-16-2005, 08:21 PM

I've bought the "varying degrees of bisexuality" argument from the very beginnings of my accepting of my own gayness. I like guys, I've been with girls. If I was required to repopulate the planet, I could. But I like guys. The only combo that doesn't actually float my boat is girls with girls.
Oh, I haven't seen the movie.

Ghoulish Delight · 01-17-2005, 11:43 PM

I'd absolutley say there's a scale. Honetly, I believe there's a scale for all things behavioral. Up for constant debate, however, are the related questions 1) Is your position on the scale inate and 2) assuming there is at least a hard-wired component, can socialization actually change your position on the scale, or does it simply cause you to deny/ignore/repress your position on the scale?

Myself, I'm firmly (hehe) on the straight end. I suppose I'd probably not be a solid zero because I'm not the "eww gross" type, but males hold zero attraction for me. I have no idea what women see in us, but hey, I thank you ladies for seeing whatever it is

Cadaverous Pallor · 01-18-2005, 12:17 AM

Me? I do like women. I admit it. I'm definitely not down-the-middle bi. I don't see myself able to have as deep an emotional relationship with a woman. And I really enjoy what men have to offer.

But I could definitely have fun with a woman without hang-ups.

My very subjective view is that sex is sex, and that if you blindfold anyone and stimulate them they'll enjoy themselves, no matter if the giver is male or female. Certain acts are going to be a matter of personal preference, of course. But I'm able to look at a female and be ok with the fact that we could get each other off. Don't know why men in this country are ingrained with such taboos against their own kind.

Ghoulish Delight · 01-18-2005, 10:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cadaverous Pallor

Don't know why men in this country are ingrained with such taboos against their own kind.

Yeah, weird, huh? There are many many societal taboos that I've divested myself of, and I'm hardly the stereotypical machismo-driven male. But that's just one that I don't see myself getting past, it is just distasteful to me (and to be clear, it's not distasteful that other people enjoy it, it's just not what I'd enjoy). Of course, it's entirely possible that in my case, it's NOT a social pressure thing, that I'm just on that end of the scale. But is there really a way to know? Considering the disparity, from my observation, between the number of straight-identified women who say they'd be willing to experiment and the number of straight-identified men who say they'd be willing, there's definitely some sort of external influence. But even in a perfect world where that isn't there, there will still be (based on the Kinsey model, and my own beliefs) a certain percentage who are simply on one end of the scale or the other.

Not Afraid · 01-18-2005, 11:12 AM

I am fascinated with Kinsey, his life, his studies and how his finding effected our society. From a sociological point of view, it is fascinating!

Personally, I am not quite sure where I would stand on the scale. I am much pickier about who I am attracted to now that I am older. My "A List" for men I actually know has even gotten shorter. I look for the elusive "chemestry" as well as physical attraction. It's the same with women, and much harder to find the chemestry I require.

Basing on actual experience, I'm probably a 2 or, unlikely, a 3. But, most of that experience is long ago when I was a lot more "free" about my sex life. Today, if I were to add people into my "sexual pantheon" they'd all be men. I do love men.

I think there are gray areas for sexuality. There are grey areas for just about everything. I rarely find anything that is either black or white. The Kinsey scale is a good theory, but, based on practice only, I think it leaves out a lot.

I do remember thinking, the first time I was attracted sexually to a woman, OH NO I'M GAY! I didn't think you could be somewhere in the gray area. Ahhhhh, thank God for knowledge.

Motorboat Cruiser · 01-18-2005, 11:21 AM

I would have to put myself somewhere between a 4 and 5 on the Kinsey Scale. On rare occasion, I do find myself attracted to someone of the opposite sex. I don't believe that I would be able to remain content though, were I to pursue it. In my 20's, I had a relationship with a woman that I was very attracted to emotionally and physically, but deep down, I knew that my overall preference was predominantly male.

And with that, I knew that a long-term monogamous relationship with a woman was not going to be fulfilling. My stimulation and desires were too strong in the opposite direction and, long-term, that just wasn't going to work. Later, when I fell in love with someone of the same-sex, I was able to find a relationship that felt far more genuine and fulfilling.

So the attraction to both sides remains, but emotionally, I know where I'm supposed to be.

In general, I think there is a lot more grey area in life than we would sometimes like to admit, especially regarding sexuality. I question whether women are more likely to have bisexual feelings then men. I simply feel that women are more comfortable being honest with themselves and have fewer hang-ups. I don't question that there are many people like GD who just don't have any attraction for the same-sex and I don't think we really have any ability to change who we are attracted to, at least not in a healthy way. Still, I think that there are many many males, who have thought about a same-sex encounter, who would never reveal it to anyone in a million years.

alphabassettgrrl · 01-18-2005, 09:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Motorboat Cruiser

In general, I think there is a lot more grey area in life than we would sometimes like to admit, especially regarding sexuality. I question whether women are more likely to have bisexual feelings then men. I simply feel that women are more comfortable being honest with themselves and have fewer hang-ups. I don't question that there are many people like GD who just don't have any attraction for the same-sex and I don't think we really have any ability to change who we are attracted to, at least not in a healthy way. Still, I think that there are many many males, who have thought about a same-sex encounter, who would never reveal it to anyone in a million years.

Yep, I'm with you there. We may learn to appreciate brunettes, but if redheads turn your head, they always will. No matter how great a brunette you're with. Attraction is not something we can control, though we might be able to expand the range a bit.

Thinking back, I probably should have been afraid to talk to my then-boyfriend-now-husband about being attracted to women. I didn't even have a word for it. We were living in Montana, a very redneck place, where standing out in any way can get your *** kicked. By rights, he should have been a good little redneck boy. And here I sit, knowing that once again, "one of these things is not like the other ones..." But once the "lavender lightning bolt" hit, I never hesitated to tell him. Of course, it worked out for us. It could easily have gone the other way.

I was probably a Kinsey 2 then. I've since moved on the scale.

01-16-2005, 05:34 PM	#1
alphabassettgrrl Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 4,978	Kinsey Kinsey did some fascinating stuff. According to his theory, though, he'd class me as straight, when I am most assuredly not. Just lately haven't had anything going on with chickies. Maybe I'm just a bit gunshy - DP, you know who was most recently in my life. :: shudder:: Not a happy thing. She acted like I was the greatest thing and then out of the blue I because a horrible bug that needed to either crawl back under a rock or be squished. Yeah, thanks. I know it's her problem not mine but it's still unpleasant. I have retreated from the gay community. Part of it is lack of energy. Part is I'm tired of getting nasty looks when they see my wedding rings. Part is I'm feeling unattractive- who'd possibly want me? Part is that I can't really bring her back to my home, and sex in the back seat just seems so... something. I don't know, but I just really don't want to go there. So I don't have much to offer at this point. So I have pulled back. Honestly, behavior is only one factor. Sure, it's more visible than feelings or fantasies, but it certainly doesn't tell the whole story. hugs -kerry, a 4.5
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01-16-2005, 06:38 PM	#2
LSPoorEeyorick scribblin' Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: in the moment Posts: 3,872	I don't think that Kinsey's point was that we are all intrinsically bisexual, but rather, that there are different shades of that gray. I think that there are probably just as many 0s and 6s out there as there are 1s through 5s. I always thought I was about a 1. I love gender studies and seeing gender lines crossed. I think women are terrifically attractive; watching "Secretary" I'll be equally turned on by Spader and Gyllenhaal. I freely admit that boobs are cool. But if Kinsey's judging only on behavior and not identification... I guess I'd have to place myself at a 0 or an 0.5. When it comes down to it, although I register attraction, I simply haven't ever fallen in love with a woman or felt the same yearning I have felt for men. Still, I wouldn't rule it out. If the man I'm in love with was, hypothetically, a woman, I think I'd probably swing that way. As for the film, I saw Kinsey soonafter it came out, and though I found it intellectually stimulating, I didn't feel as much emotional resonance as I wanted from it.
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01-16-2005, 08:18 PM	#3
Not Afraid HI! Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 17,108	hehehehe. He said cut. teeheehee
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01-16-2005, 08:21 PM	#4
Gn2Dlnd Parmmadore Jim Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Casita del Queso Posts: 3,810	I've bought the "varying degrees of bisexuality" argument from the very beginnings of my accepting of my own gayness. I like guys, I've been with girls. If I was required to repopulate the planet, I could. But I like guys. The only combo that doesn't actually float my boat is girls with girls. Oh, I haven't seen the movie. __________________ Does anyone still wear a hat?
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01-17-2005, 11:43 PM	#5
Ghoulish Delight I Floop the Pig Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Alternative Swankstyle Posts: 19,348	I'd absolutley say there's a scale. Honetly, I believe there's a scale for all things behavioral. Up for constant debate, however, are the related questions 1) Is your position on the scale inate and 2) assuming there is at least a hard-wired component, can socialization actually change your position on the scale, or does it simply cause you to deny/ignore/repress your position on the scale? Myself, I'm firmly (hehe) on the straight end. I suppose I'd probably not be a solid zero because I'm not the "eww gross" type, but males hold zero attraction for me. I have no idea what women see in us, but hey, I thank you ladies for seeing whatever it is __________________ 'He who receives an idea from me, receives instruction himself without lessening mine; as he who lights his taper at mine, receives light without darkening me.' -TJ
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01-18-2005, 12:17 AM	#6
Cadaverous Pallor ohhhh baby Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Parental Bliss Posts: 12,364	Me? I do like women. I admit it. I'm definitely not down-the-middle bi. I don't see myself able to have as deep an emotional relationship with a woman. And I really enjoy what men have to offer. But I could definitely have fun with a woman without hang-ups. My very subjective view is that sex is sex, and that if you blindfold anyone and stimulate them they'll enjoy themselves, no matter if the giver is male or female. Certain acts are going to be a matter of personal preference, of course. But I'm able to look at a female and be ok with the fact that we could get each other off. Don't know why men in this country are ingrained with such taboos against their own kind. __________________ The second star to the right shines in the night for you
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01-18-2005, 11:12 AM	#8
Not Afraid HI! Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 17,108	I am fascinated with Kinsey, his life, his studies and how his finding effected our society. From a sociological point of view, it is fascinating! Personally, I am not quite sure where I would stand on the scale. I am much pickier about who I am attracted to now that I am older. My "A List" for men I actually know has even gotten shorter. I look for the elusive "chemestry" as well as physical attraction. It's the same with women, and much harder to find the chemestry I require. Basing on actual experience, I'm probably a 2 or, unlikely, a 3. But, most of that experience is long ago when I was a lot more "free" about my sex life. Today, if I were to add people into my "sexual pantheon" they'd all be men. I do love men. I think there are gray areas for sexuality. There are grey areas for just about everything. I rarely find anything that is either black or white. The Kinsey scale is a good theory, but, based on practice only, I think it leaves out a lot. I do remember thinking, the first time I was attracted sexually to a woman, OH NO I'M GAY! I didn't think you could be somewhere in the gray area. Ahhhhh, thank God for knowledge.
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01-18-2005, 11:21 AM	#9
Motorboat Cruiser Cruiser of Motorboats Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: So Cal Posts: 3,665	I would have to put myself somewhere between a 4 and 5 on the Kinsey Scale. On rare occasion, I do find myself attracted to someone of the opposite sex. I don't believe that I would be able to remain content though, were I to pursue it. In my 20's, I had a relationship with a woman that I was very attracted to emotionally and physically, but deep down, I knew that my overall preference was predominantly male. And with that, I knew that a long-term monogamous relationship with a woman was not going to be fulfilling. My stimulation and desires were too strong in the opposite direction and, long-term, that just wasn't going to work. Later, when I fell in love with someone of the same-sex, I was able to find a relationship that felt far more genuine and fulfilling. So the attraction to both sides remains, but emotionally, I know where I'm supposed to be. In general, I think there is a lot more grey area in life than we would sometimes like to admit, especially regarding sexuality. I question whether women are more likely to have bisexual feelings then men. I simply feel that women are more comfortable being honest with themselves and have fewer hang-ups. I don't question that there are many people like GD who just don't have any attraction for the same-sex and I don't think we really have any ability to change who we are attracted to, at least not in a healthy way. Still, I think that there are many many males, who have thought about a same-sex encounter, who would never reveal it to anyone in a million years.
	Submit to Quotes