Dear:

[Cadaverous Pallor]

Dear person who left a paper towel with a large lugey in it in the restroom trash and didn't even bother to wad up the towel so I had to see it in all its nasty glory:

Eww.

Revoltingly,
Jen

[katiesue]

Originally Posted by BarTopDancer

Dear KatieSue,

Can I take you up on that offer?

Dear BTD,

Of course. Honestly when you see the state of her room you won't do it either.

Regards,
KatieSue

[Snowflake]

Dear Minder of Planet Alignment:

It's not been a good day and I'm sick of this, okay. So if there is something specific I need to do to realign the planets in my favor, help me out, will ya?

Snowflake

[katiesue]

Originally Posted by Cadaverous Pallor

Dear GD:

I am going to start using "heckily schmeck" in normal conversation. Be prepared.

Much love,
Your Annoying Wife.

Feel free to use my other favorite - flipity flip and it's stronger counterpart -flipity flip flip flip.

[BarTopDancer]

Dear Scotty and Teemu,

Make up your frelling mind already!

Signed,

Ducks Fans everywhere

[Capt Jack]

Dear Snowflake,

The Minder of Planet Alignment is not available to take your call. Please leave your message after the tone and The Minder of Planet Alignment with get back to you as soon as possible.

Recording 1762

*beep*

[Kevy Baby]

Originally Posted by katiesue

Dearest Daughter,

You have already stated your need for an iPhone but you did say you were "waiting for the prices do go down". And as I said then, when you get a job you can have whatever phone/iPod you'd like.

Love,
Mommy

Originally Posted by Ghoulish Delight

Dear Mom,

Prices have gone down.

But I am guessing said child doesn't have a job yet.

[BarTopDancer]

Dear Kevin,

Details, smheetails.

[Snowflake]

Originally Posted by Capt Jack

Dear Snowflake,

The Minder of Planet Alignment is not available to take your call. Please leave your message after the tone and The Minder of Planet Alignment with get back to you as soon as possible.

Recording 1762

*beep*

I do wonder which level of Dante's Inferno I'm currently residing at?

Well, I found out here*

The wretched King Minos has decided your fate. His tale wraps around his body 3 times.
The sweet light no longer strikes against your eyes. Your shade has been banished to... the Third Level of Hell!
Third Level of Hell

In the third circle, you find yourself amidst eternal rain, maledict, cold, and heavy. The gluttons are punished here, lying in the filthy mixture of shadows and of putrid water. Because you consumed in excess, you meet your fate beneath the cold, dirty rain, amidst the other souls that there lay unhappily in the stinking mud. Cerebus, a canine monster cruel and uncouth with his three heads and red eyes, dwells in this level. He growls and tears at the damned with his teeth and claws.

Hmm, yeah, yummy



*Excuse me if this questionnaire has been posted before, I'm too slothful to look and this probably knocks down one more level.

[Ghoulish Delight]

Dear Helen of Troy,

See you in hell baby. Your place of eternal damnation or mine?

- "Girthy" Delight

The wretched King Minos has decided your fate. His tale [sic.] wraps around his body 2 times.

The sweet light no longer strikes against your eyes. Your shade has been banished to... the Second Level of Hell!

Second Level of Hell

You have come to a place mute of all light, where the wind bellows as the sea does in a tempest. This is the realm where the lustful spend eternity. Here, sinners are blown around endlessly by the unforgiving winds of unquenchable desire as punishment for their transgressions. The infernal hurricane that never rests hurtles the spirits onward in its rapine, whirling them round, and smiting, it molests them. You have betrayed reason at the behest of your appetite for pleasure, and so here you are doomed to remain. Cleopatra and Helen of Troy are two that share in your fate.