Societal norms, the Moral Majority and a rant that feels so good - Page 5

Gemini Cricket · 11-01-2005, 08:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crystal

What happened over the weekend has really left me depressed...

Crystal,
I...grrrr...they... arrgghhh... how can they....roooaaarrr.... when I think about.... grrrrowwwwl... 'save? SAVE?!' .... murmur.... He taught inclusiveness... grrrrr.... plank in your own face... arrrrrr.... pretentiously pious jackanapes.... grooooaaannn!
Signed,
GC

tracilicious · 11-01-2005, 09:17 AM

Hmmm...What I don't quite get is the kids thing. I can understand someone disagreeing with people bringing other people into their marriage. I'm not saying they should say something about it or that I personally care what others do, but I can see why some might not agree. But do they think you're going to be performing bisexual acts in front of their kids?

I probably wouldn't let my kids hang out with kids whose parents did certain things I don't approve of. I'm not sure what those things are yet, I probably wouldn't let them go to a house where there is smoking or drinking around them or drug use, etc. But common sense should dictate that your sex life isn't going to affect their children.

This must suck to explain to your kids. I'm sorry.

SacTown Chronic · 11-01-2005, 09:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tracilicious

But do they think you're going to be performing bisexual acts in front of their kids?

I think they do.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crystal

What happened over the weekend has really left me depressed.

Already I'm seeing a change in your demeanor. Sorrow has been replaced by your resolve and sense of self that has always turned me on. You're getting back that "this is me and if you don't like it go f yourself" attitude that I admire so much. You're wonderful just the way you are and I wouldn't change a thing about you, Crystal.

I love you.

scaeagles · 11-01-2005, 10:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SacTown Chronic

You're wonderful just the way you are and I wouldn't change a thing about you, Crystal.

I love you.

Would you two get a room already?

(feel free to invite anyone else you may wish

)

Alex · 11-01-2005, 10:18 AM

If someone engages in behavior that I think sufficient cause for me to sever ties, I'm not going to allow my (mythical) children to socialize with them either. So that part makes sense to me, I just disagree with the judgment.

That said, if there is a grapevine version of events going around (which if I recall is how they learned about it), you have to wonder what details are going along with it.

Crystal · 11-01-2005, 10:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SacTown Chronic

You're wonderful just the way you are and I wouldn't change a thing about you, Crystal.

I love you.

Hmmm...I wonder if you said this cuz you think you'll get one "thrown your way" tonight?

of course, you'd be right

This is gonna be a looong day

Crystal · 11-01-2005, 10:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alex Stroup

If someone engages in behavior that I think sufficient cause for me to sever ties, I'm not going to allow my (mythical) children to socialize with them either. So that part makes sense to me, I just disagree with the judgment.

That said, if there is a grapevine version of events going around (which if I recall is how they learned about it), you have to wonder what details are going along with it.

I'm not really concerned about the details of what is going along with it through the grapevine. Quite frankly, other people's opinions do not matter to me and if they want to gossip, then they are free to do so. I'm comfortable with who I am and am very secure with myself and my marriage. The only reason any of this has bothered me is because I have been friends with these people for 8 years and it is painful to lose a friendship, and even more painful for me to know that my children will be losing friendships as well.

In regards to not allowing my children to socialize with another's children, I would only allow that if I felt my children were in danger due to the other parent's behavior. My sexuality has absolutely no effect on the children, it's not as if I share any of this info with the kids, or ever behave in a sexual manner around the children. It is just absurd that these people would assume that I would now, knowing that in 8 years I never have. But, hey, their choice and I won't discuss it with them any further,I'm movin' on.

alphabassettgrrl · 11-01-2005, 11:34 AM

It's terrible to lose a friend like that. Well, maybe you don't need them if they're going to see you as bad people.

As noted, your sexuality does not affect your children. Good parents are good parents. End of story. Actually, it's good to model a stable mature marriage to children.

You two do seem to have a good marriage. Congratulations! There are hordes of people who would love to have a spouse who is that devoted and in love and respecting of them.

It's true that open marriages don't work for everybody but it does work for some of us..... I'm guessing that woman's discomfort comes from within. Either she wishes she had the nerve to admit an attraction for someone other than her husband or she's nervous about the state of her marriage. I think it was KB who brought up the idea of projection. We see in others (and are annoyed by) what we most fear to see in ourselves.

Actually, you haven't said if your marriage is open or exclusive to the two of you. Just because one is bisexual doesn't mean anything other than an attraction. What action is taken varies greatly.

Hang in there- we love both of you!

Mousey Girl · 11-01-2005, 03:57 PM

Coming from the "Mommy" angle, even if she hadn't said that your kids weren't welcome to play wither hers anymore I think I would have made sure that they didn't get together. I would be concerned that she would start mouthing off to your kids, who know what she would have filled their heads with. It is one thing to pass judgement on an adult, but when you start attacking the parent behind their back and in front of their kids, that is going too far.

innerSpaceman · 11-01-2005, 04:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Not Afraid

I usually am harshest on those how are going in the same bad route I traveled once.

Yep, woe be those who have the misfortune to simply err on the same side that I once erred, and I will judge them with more harshness than I will other errs that be not mine.

This is one prime example of why judgmentalism is BAD. How often are we really judging ourselves and not the purported external objects of our judgment? I don't happen to agree with what Alex says about the necessity of judgment. Perhaps he means simply the necessity of analysis and determination. There's a fine line between such opinion-forming/decision-making and judgmentalism.

I'm not particularly good at staying on the better side of that line, but I wish I were (and so, haha, I will judge you to be pure evil if you happen to also err on the judgy side of the line!).

11-01-2005, 09:17 AM	#42
tracilicious avatar transition Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: in-between Posts: 2,487	Hmmm...What I don't quite get is the kids thing. I can understand someone disagreeing with people bringing other people into their marriage. I'm not saying they should say something about it or that I personally care what others do, but I can see why some might not agree. But do they think you're going to be performing bisexual acts in front of their kids? I probably wouldn't let my kids hang out with kids whose parents did certain things I don't approve of. I'm not sure what those things are yet, I probably wouldn't let them go to a house where there is smoking or drinking around them or drug use, etc. But common sense should dictate that your sex life isn't going to affect their children. This must suck to explain to your kids. I'm sorry. __________________ And now Harry, let us step into the night and pursue that flighty temptress, adventure! - Albus Dumbledore
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11-01-2005, 10:18 AM	#45
Alex . Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 13,354	If someone engages in behavior that I think sufficient cause for me to sever ties, I'm not going to allow my (mythical) children to socialize with them either. So that part makes sense to me, I just disagree with the judgment. That said, if there is a grapevine version of events going around (which if I recall is how they learned about it), you have to wonder what details are going along with it.
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11-01-2005, 11:34 AM	#48
alphabassettgrrl Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 4,978	It's terrible to lose a friend like that. Well, maybe you don't need them if they're going to see you as bad people. As noted, your sexuality does not affect your children. Good parents are good parents. End of story. Actually, it's good to model a stable mature marriage to children. You two do seem to have a good marriage. Congratulations! There are hordes of people who would love to have a spouse who is that devoted and in love and respecting of them. It's true that open marriages don't work for everybody but it does work for some of us..... I'm guessing that woman's discomfort comes from within. Either she wishes she had the nerve to admit an attraction for someone other than her husband or she's nervous about the state of her marriage. I think it was KB who brought up the idea of projection. We see in others (and are annoyed by) what we most fear to see in ourselves. Actually, you haven't said if your marriage is open or exclusive to the two of you. Just because one is bisexual doesn't mean anything other than an attraction. What action is taken varies greatly. Hang in there- we love both of you! __________________ Why cycling? Anything [sport] that had to do with a ball, I wasn't very good at. -Lance Armstrong
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11-01-2005, 03:57 PM	#49
Mousey Girl Just Me Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: In The Flagon With The Dragon Posts: 2,437	Coming from the "Mommy" angle, even if she hadn't said that your kids weren't welcome to play wither hers anymore I think I would have made sure that they didn't get together. I would be concerned that she would start mouthing off to your kids, who know what she would have filled their heads with. It is one thing to pass judgement on an adult, but when you start attacking the parent behind their back and in front of their kids, that is going too far.
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