Sooooo.....

[Alex]

Originally Posted by Kevy Baby

Have you ever heard someone recall with fond memories being beaten? I know I haven't.

I have, usually in conjunction with bitching about any attempt to interfere with their right to beat their own children.

But again, I don't consider all corporal punishment to be "beating" the child.

But I am excessively proud of the fact that I was so able to tighten my butt cheeks that my mom once broke a hairbrush on it.

[Cynthia]

Ok, so my Mom had this HUGE leather belt with a big brass buckle with an enameled smiley face on it (70's man) it was this bit of theater she played on us that we had to walk down the hall to her bedroom, get the belt and bring it back, then she would slap her wrist while she laid the guilt on, by the time she actually bent us over it was a relief. I was six or seven when I realized there was only the sound of the belt snapping that made us jump, she hardly touched us, no welts, no pain . . . did not tell my sister for another year.

[Cadaverous Pallor]

Originally Posted by Kevy Baby

Have you ever heard someone recall with fond memories being beaten? I know I haven't.

As BTD said, I was referring to the lyrics she posted.

Originally Posted by Cynthia

Ok, so my Mom had this HUGE leather belt with a big brass buckle with an enameled smiley face on it (70's man) it was this bit of theater she played on us that we had to walk down the hall to her bedroom, get the belt and bring it back, then she would slap her wrist while she laid the guilt on, by the time she actually bent us over it was a relief. I was six or seven when I realized there was only the sound of the belt snapping that made us jump, she hardly touched us, no welts, no pain . . . did not tell my sister for another year.

Again, I don't get this as being a fun anecdote. Threatening a child with violence, even if you don't actually hurt them...it's bizarre.

Alex - yeah, half of me wants my kid to go jump bikes over pits unsupervised. In fact, I'd bump it up to 80% of me. I do hope I can give my kids some space to wander and do things on their own.

With a GPS cellphone pinpointing their location at all times, of course.

[Alex]

To counteract the "parents didn't care" stories. I do recall an incident with a very high parental freaking quotient.

At one point we lived in a house that was only a few blocks from a new highway that was being built through Vancouver (for those few who might know, SR500) and it we all played a lot, particularly in the early stages when all they'd done was clear the right of way leaving behind tons of dirt clods just perfect for battles. Part of that was a new overpass to span a nearby creak (for those same people, Burnt Bridge Creek just east of St. Johns) and it hadn't been completed but all framed out into a solid structure.

One of my sisters (both younger than me, so around 8 and 6) was having a big birthday party and suddenly it was noticed that the 8 year and all her friends had disappeared. Slow panic built on the initial assumption they were just out playing somewhere nearby. Then full panic when they weren't found.

Then truly full panic when they were all found sitting out in the middle of that overpass, feet dangling over the edge of nothing, about 60 feet above the creek (which they'd likely miss if they fell and it would only be a few feet deep anyway).

This was the same sister who, a few years later had instructions to be home before dark at a time of year when it got dark around 7pm. She comes sauntering home at 10pm to a completely freaked out family saying "I didn't know it was dark." When asked where she was that she didn't know it was dark? "At Leverich Park." There is nowhere indoors at Leverich Park.

But back on the not caring side, I once fell out of the tree in our front yard. I don't know how high I was but I was well above the roof of our two-story plus attic house. The parental concern I got? "Next time don't fall."

[SzczerbiakManiac]

The World's First Ice Cream Truck for Dogs

[RStar]

Originally Posted by Alex

But I am excessively proud of the fact that I was so able to tighten my butt cheeks that my mom once broke a hairbrush on it.

I'm trying hard not to picture that.....

[3894]

Originally Posted by Alex

"I didn't know it was dark."

One of my kids is like this. It's how I earned my black belt in Momitude. Or is that Mommage?

One m or two - momage ... mommage? The art, science, and technology of professional-caliber moming ... or is that spelled momming?

[MouseWife]

Originally Posted by Cynthia

Ok, so my Mom had this HUGE leather belt with a big brass buckle with an enameled smiley face on it (70's man)

Ours had no smiley face. Before the belt {concurrent?} she actually had a horsewhip. I think I was too young to ever have had it used on me but I remember it being used on the older ones. She would use whatever was at hand. The belt was always handy. She wore it all of the time.

The horsewhip disappeared. I always thought maybe my older brother got rid of it so she couldn't use it on us {he suffered a lot at her hands, compared to my other brother who is her favorite}. I finally asked him a few years ago and he said he didn't. Maybe it was my dad? I remember he'd been in Vietnam at the time, maybe when he came back he found it? Wow. Interesting thought.

When we used to visit her and the kids were younger, I'd tell them they'd better watch out, Ninja Grandma was going to get them with her flying sandals. Whacha!! I said that in front of her. Funny, she says she never hit us. Okay, not funny.

I'm not the best mom. I hope someday my kids remember nice things about me. I do have nice memories of mine. I think I'll try and click into that mode....what she did nice.

I am trying to co-ordinate her 85th birthday party. *chuckle* Don't want to go into THAT kind of theme, eh?

[Alex]

Like I said above, the occasions of my being spanked as a kid are not cherished memories, but I do think that my mom handled it about as well as possible if corporal punishment is going to be part of the parenting ouvre (and I have no problem at all with it not being so, I am not one to argue that a lack of corporal punishment will result in flawed children).

1. It was an extremely rare occurrence and only in response to truly significant incidents. I'd say I was spanked maybe four times between the age of 5 and 12. I only remember the actual trigger for two of them, one was when I'd been aiming my (loaded) BB gun at one of my sisters (just for fun, no intent to shoot, but still...) and the other was when I was caught stealing money.

2. It was never done in anger or the heat of the moment. It was always a "go to your room for a couple hours while we think about this" thing. Then when the deed was done it was explained what it would be and that is what it was.

3. As there was never any feeling that it was being done in anger there was also never any fear that serious, lasting pain was being sought. It was never the case that we were spanked so hard that sitting afterward would be uncomfortable.

The part I strongly disagree with was the use of a hairbrush (most of the time) as opposed to the hand, but I figure that was an improvement on the cycle since she grew up with it being a wooden spoon (a lot more angular momentum in that tool).

But it was still a shock one time when at a friends house and we were doing something we shouldn't have been and got caught by his dad who simply grabbed him, threw him over a knee, and just went to town on him (also making it clear that if it weren't for the law I'd probably be next in line). The savagery was appalling to me. And while I can understand how to many people it isn't all that different from what my mom did to me, I personally never felt they were the same thing.

[Ghoulish Delight]

Yeah, definite difference between intent to inflict pain vs. intent to inflict embarrassment and communicate disappointment. My sister and I were spanked, but never was it more than a firm pat, not even close to being painful. Huge difference there.