Sooooo.....

[katiesue]

My Mom was big on dragging you around by one arm. When I was in 4th grade I remember her dragging me 3 blocks. I don't remember what I had done, we were in the middle of moving and she and my dad had some big blow out. I must have wanted to stay with him but she drug me the whole way to the old house.

A few years ago she did something similar to one of her students (she was a kindergarten teacher). The other teacher who reported it to us, they wanted us to make her retire, was horrified but I thought "oh yea trademark Mom move".

She was also big on using the back of the brush. My dad never did more than yell at us, and that was pretty rare.

Maddie's never been spanked although a few times I was pretty close. She's done a few things that made me crazy and I just had to leave the room or drop her at her dads for a while till I cooled off so I wouldn't say anything to her in anger.

[Alex]

An example of when a spanking was probably deserved (if such can be deserved) but didn't happen.

I eventually reached an age where I decided I was both tougher than my mom and faster than her. So one time we were out in the back yard and she did something I didn't like so I hit her (considering my age it couldn't have been that hard, but still it was hitting her).

Turns out I was neither tougher than her, nor faster. For I did not easily let her drag me the block and a half back home after she caught me.

[Kevy Baby]

Originally Posted by Not Afraid

The Yardstick was the "tool" of choice for spanking.

Same in my house - wooden yardstick. One broke during mid-punishment on me and THAT was my fault as well.

[MouseWife]

Originally Posted by alphabassettgrrl

GD- which helmet did you decide on?

Both my helmets are the usual dorky ones, with all the vents. I crashed on a mountain bike trail a few weeks ago, and just recently inspected my helmet. I cracked it in at least three places. Just goes to prove that even the "lesser" level of protection can do its job, since my head was not seriously hurt in the crash, though I hit hard.

Very good point! I was wondering about this...at the time of your crash the emphasis was on your shoulder, right? But, right after weren't you a little dazed? Imagine if you weren't wearing a helmet?

Important I think to mention, is making sure it fits properly. I've seen my son wear his and it is obviously not properly fit. Not good.

[Cadaverous Pallor]

All this talk about spankings makes me want to share as well...though it's one of very few things that makes me uncomfortable to think about. The very fact that I thought it was normal and good behavior is the most unsettling part.

Unlike NA, I remember very clearly why I and my brothers received violent punishment. It always had to do with lying. It didn't matter what we did, what mattered was that we were truthful.

Quite a few things of mine were broken in the process, usually because they were thrown across the room at me and I dodged them. Can you imagine an electric razor being thrown at you? Ok, I'm sure she was aiming at the floor near me and gave me plenty of warning by hefting it slowly, but still, pretty scary when you hear the chunk noise it makes when it hits the carpet and breaks. That could have been your foot.

One time my mom was defrosting ground beef in the microwave and threw it at me. Then she made me clean up all the bits of meat in the carpet.

Most of my spankings were more like chasings and throwings. If you ran around the room enough mom would give up and not hit you. Dad never gave up.

I have a very strong memory of being spanked by my dad at the age of 4 until I peed my pants. My mom went for a walk to get away from the situation so my dad had to be the one to help me out of my cold, wet corduroy pants.

I did learn my lesson - don't get caught lying. Also - don't make dad mad. He'd get so mad at inanimate objects he'd break them. You'd come home and wonder what happened to the wooden stool in the bathroom. You know, the one I used to stand on to brush my teeth when I was tiny. Oh, dad was working on the pipes under the sink, got frustrated and threw the stool.

Yeah, I thought everyone was like this. There's a point where I detach from it and it makes me so sad, thinking about a child, any child, in this situation.

I'm well aware that these weren't punishments so much as they were my parents using us to blow off steam. It's horrifying.

[Morrigoon]

My parents only had to spank me maybe 3 times.

They used the "Go get the wooden spoon" thing, as well as describing in rather vivid detail how much the spanking was going to hurt (it never hurt like they described it, of course), and typically, by the time they were done describing it, you were promising to be good, or devising some way NOT to go to the kitchen for that spoon.

Frankly, I think they did a great job of rarely having to employ corporal punishment, while still leaving the understanding that there could be real consequences to our actions.

I was only ever slapped in the face once, and I totally earned it. I was a mouthy teen and called my mom a b!tch. Bad idea. Only one slap, but the point was made.

My mom could get her point across in other ways, however. Being the youngest and only girl, I never got it like the legendary stories of my brothers. One failed to do the dishes so long that he awoke one morning to them being broken against the wall by his bed, another came home from school one day to find the un-emptied kitchen trash dumped on his bed. I neglected to do the dishes for too long and found.... everything unplugged from the back of my CPU (yawn... but I knew what she was saying!)

While things may have been less than perfect for my brothers, I think my own disciplinary-upbringing was just fine. Admirable, in some ways. In our house, "there are no rules until you break them", which forced us to think ahead about the consequences of our behavior and what is and is not responsible. So in high school, I could stay out till 3 or 4 am going to Rocky Horror and Denny's, but I had to make sure my parents knew where I was and when I'd be home. If I'd taken off without telling anyone where I was, I probably would have earned a curfew.

[alphabassettgrrl]

Originally Posted by MouseWife

...at the time of your crash the emphasis was on your shoulder, right? But, right after weren't you a little dazed? Imagine if you weren't wearing a helmet?

Important I think to mention, is making sure it fits properly. I've seen my son wear his and it is obviously not properly fit. Not good.

Yeah, I got my bell rung and I don't remember the immediate aftermath. No lingering concussion symptoms, so I didn't worry about it.

I didn't notice at the time, I don't think. I knew the shoulder was going to hurt, and that the hip was going to be colorful but wouldn't really hurt. I just wanted to get back to the trailhead before it really started to hurt and I couldn't do it.

Yes, proper fit is the big deal. And that it meets crash standards. I have a new helmet now.

[MouseWife]

Very important to replace the old one! This is why people aren't supposed to buy used car seats and the like. I never thought of it but they could be compromised.

The whole topic of our childhoods....pretty heavy. I'm sad to hear so many had variations of 'Non Dr. Spock' techniques.

[Alex]

Originally Posted by Cadaverous Pallor

It's horrifying.

You're right, it is horrifying. I can hardly imagine a less acceptable justification for hitting a person (let alone a child), regardless of actual damage done than simply being angry or frustrated.

Fortunately, as I said, I never felt that from my mom (stepdad was never the issuer of physical punishment) and most of the time felt she was a pushover (my childhood was full of month-long groundings that would be forgotten in two days when she was reminded that having us confined to the house was more of a punishment for her than for us).

Only one person in our house was ever prone to violent outbursts and that was me. And whatever bit of cranial chemistry was causing that seems to have flipped off like a light switch in April 1985 which is the last time I ever hit somebody in anger.

[CoasterMatt]

Now you just hit them for fun, right Alex?