Sooooo.....

[Strangler Lewis]

Originally Posted by alphabassettgrrl

So what's an appropriate reaction to the guy being a dick? One of the problems we have is that those people continue to be dicks because there's no feedback to convince them they shouldn't be. And yes, I do agree that the guy was, since there was no good reason other than inattention and stupidity for him standing in the bike trail, in traffic, rather than moving just a few feet and being out of the way.

He's so caught up in his own gak that he doesn't see how he created a situation in which other people would be angry and retaliatory. So other than smacking him on the side of the head and hanging up his phone call and explaining to him why you beat him, what's a person to do?

Ignoring it is not a good answer. For the most part, we do that, and it's a recipe for getting more of the same. Which is unpleasant at best.

I guess you get off your bike, smile at the offender and say "Isn't wonderful in life when teachable moments arise? Let's have one."

The sad reality is that such people are assholes, know they're assholes and don't care.

My own commuter rage used to come on the 41 Union bus in San Francisco. Or, more aptly, trying to get on the 41 Union bus to go downtown in the morning. In a perfect world, during commute hours, people would step to the rear and stand two abreast. Invariably, however, the first person forced to stand would head back to the rear exit in the middle and spread out. The remainder of the standing area ahead of him would also be filled in single file. Generally, if the bus driver yelled back, "Step to the rear," the standees would look around and, perhaps, shift their weight a bit, but that would be it.

Standing on the bottom step trying to board, I yelled back urging collegiality and citizenship a number of times to no avail. I'd have to step off and wait for the next one.

Most mornings I walked.

[innerSpaceman]

Originally Posted by Cadaverous Pallor

Oh, and every time we mention something we've done that's not exactly honorable, even if we agree that it wasn't the most honorable thing to do, are we going to have to answer to "Is this what you'd teach your son to do?"

Yes.




Otherwise, what's the fun in it for us??

[Betty]

Originally Posted by Cadaverous Pallor

Oh, and every time we mention something we've done that's not exactly honorable, even if we agree that it wasn't the most honorable thing to do, are we going to have to answer to "Is this what you'd teach your son to do?"

Not at all - I've just had experiences with people on bikes being dicks so it's a pet peeve of mine I guess. (and people in cars and people on foot etc... like I said - it's a pet peeve apparently.) Sorry if that came off sounding like a personal attack.

[Betty]

Originally Posted by innerSpaceman

Yes.




Otherwise, what's the fun in it for us??

I hadn't thought about it like that... good point.

[Alex]

Originally Posted by alphabassettgrrl

So other than smacking him on the side of the head and hanging up his phone call and explaining to him why you beat him, what's a person to do?

I'd say the good response is shouting "please don't just syand in the trail" while giving him what space you can and going on your way.

I agree that it isn't a huge example of dickishness, but I also don't think the cell phone talker was being that big of a dick either.

No need to cry out about who'll think of the children. I just don't see much utility in responding to rudeness with rudeness.

[3894]

So, I'm a little shell-shocked at the moment. Hubbo and I are at a coffee place this morning. I tell him my order, then go to get us a table. I see an abandoned newspaper on a table. I pick it up, looking at the big front-page photo of a rainy street, wondering how much rain we got this last round when ...

whomp! some man grabs my arm hard, socks me in the shoulder, then yells, "That's MY paper!"

Time elapsed from picking up the newspaper: no more than 15 seconds.

Long story short: It was an old man but very quick and strong and crazy. I decided not to file assault charges. The coffee place is very aware of what happened. The shift manager said, "He's done this before." My answer: "In that case, I won't be back."

[Gn2Dlnd]

I'm sorry, I just don't like it when someone touches MY paper for more than 12 seconds.

P.S. They can't kick me out because they've all touched MY paper too, and I have a list of names.

P.P.S. Otherwise, it was great meeting you. How was your coffee?

[3894]

Gn2Dld, When I grabbed your pipe out of your mouth and ... Well, I hope the ER docs didn't have to go in too far andthat you'll soon be sitting and walking again comfortably.

[Gn2Dlnd]

Happens every day. No worries.

[Cadaverous Pallor]

Originally Posted by Strangler Lewis

The better question is always, "If God asked you what you did today, would you tell him about this?"

If the God that I used to grok asked me, then I'd tell him. What are you going to do, lie to God? He'd chuckle and say, "Yeah, that was a dick move. But that jerk deserved it, and he felt a little sheepish afterwards, even as he cussed you out to the other person on the phone. See, I don't go smacking people around for being jerks, and they need some sort of response. Like ABG said in the thread. Just remember to not take the dickishness with you and apply it to others, right? I'm glad you were out biking."

Originally Posted by 3894

The shift manager said, "He's done this before." My answer: "In that case, I won't be back."

This is kind of a bummer because there's not much they can do with these types. Take it from me, I've seen all types - religious zealots, homeless smelly guys, loudly racist little old ladies, just plain crazies. Usually they don't touch people and when you want to call the cops it's all about physical contact, unless they are REALLY verbally abusive. Even when they do things that merit a call (such as grabbing someone or refusing to leave private property), they usually bail as soon as they have made their disturbance. Either that or the cops show up, talk to them, and can't do anything about it. Plus, you can call the cops on a guy like that a hundred times and they'll still show up the next day as if nothing happened and do it again. It's a never ending battle.