Soooo.... - Page 773

MickeyLumbo · 04-09-2007, 05:55 AM

there is NO doubt this really sucks!

when he returns to get his things, feel free to call the local sheriff or PD to stand by and keep the peace, and maybe have a friend or your mom there for support.

try to find a safe place for Nick to be (Grandma's, neighbor's etc) during that visit so he doesn't have to hear or see the enevitable bickering.

hang in there.

DreadPirateRoberts · 04-09-2007, 06:09 AM

I'm sorry.

katiesue · 04-09-2007, 08:59 AM

OH MG I'm so sorry. Deifnately get a lawyer. And they won't take Nick away from you. It's really hard to do trust me.

I had the same thing with the car, in both our names. Since the loan wasn't paid off yet I had to leave him on it and on my insurance until it was paid off. The only other way is to refinance it which wasn't feasable. If it's paid off then as a part of the divorce the court will decide who gets it and you'll just do DMV paperwork to get the other person's name off.

Defiantely get with the lawer before you do anything. They'll help you figure out what you can and can't do. That way you'll be covered later. And in California you have to go to mandatory mediation in a child custody issues before you can go before a judge (at least that's how it was explained to me). I was able to use this to my advantage and get things settled without the cost of having to take a lawyer to court.

Hang in there, it will get better just not for while. Oh and try to keep Nick out of it as much as you can, that is the absolute hardest part.

JWBear · 04-09-2007, 10:05 AM

<<<HUGS>>>

cirquelover · 04-09-2007, 10:37 AM

I'm so sorry. Hang in there for you and your son, it will get better. You always know you can come here to vent, cry or just talk.

Morrigoon · 04-09-2007, 12:09 PM

OMG, he told your child to tell you he was cheating??? Okay, I really don't think you need to worry about losing custody. Be sure and bring that up in court. A 10-year old should never be involved at that level.

BarTopDancer · 04-09-2007, 12:49 PM

/hugs. I am so sorry MG.

Please try not to worry about custody. He is just trying to hurt you more. Your soon to be ex abandoned his family for another. That isn't going to be looked upon highly in court, no matter how clean her house is.

I also seem to recall something about the verbiage on a title or bank account. If it says MouseyGirl and Asshat it is harder to deal with then saying MouseyGirl or Asshat. The or makes it easier to take one person's name off of it.

Something you also may want to consider is preparing a formal, or semi-formal child-care plan to show them where N will be staying while you are at work. I could see Asshat trying to say that "she" will be staying at home so N should be able to stay there. Ya, not really a healthy environment for N to be in. Best interest of the child, not best interest of the morons ruining a family.

katiesue · 04-09-2007, 01:42 PM

If any titles/accounts say and not or you have to have both people sign to close or make any changes to the accounts. No matter which name is listed first.

You also can't de-list him from your life insurance without his permission either. And if the phone bill, power etc are in his name. He has to call them to have it switched to yours. Huge pain in the bahooty.

Morrigoon · 04-09-2007, 03:06 PM

Depends on how the life insurance is set up. If he's listed as a beneficiary, but not as an owner, no problem to change it.

In fact, this is a good idea for everybody: check on your life insurance, and make sure your beneficiary info is up to date. Make sure you have designated secondary beneficiaries in case something ever happens to your primary beneficiary (or you die concurrently with the primary beneficiary).

Snowflake · 04-09-2007, 03:10 PM

So, I feel like I've been dragged headfirst through a knothole in a pine fence. Felt that way when I got out of bed, on the train and here at my desk. Looking forward to heading home to flop on something and remain in a prone position for the duration of the evening. ugh.

04-09-2007, 05:55 AM	#7721
MickeyLumbo thankfully grateful Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: shangrila Posts: 1,388	there is NO doubt this really sucks! when he returns to get his things, feel free to call the local sheriff or PD to stand by and keep the peace, and maybe have a friend or your mom there for support. try to find a safe place for Nick to be (Grandma's, neighbor's etc) during that visit so he doesn't have to hear or see the enevitable bickering. hang in there. __________________
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04-09-2007, 06:09 AM	#7722
DreadPirateRoberts Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 2,483	I'm sorry.
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04-09-2007, 08:59 AM	#7723
katiesue Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: San Diego Posts: 4,678	OH MG I'm so sorry. Deifnately get a lawyer. And they won't take Nick away from you. It's really hard to do trust me. I had the same thing with the car, in both our names. Since the loan wasn't paid off yet I had to leave him on it and on my insurance until it was paid off. The only other way is to refinance it which wasn't feasable. If it's paid off then as a part of the divorce the court will decide who gets it and you'll just do DMV paperwork to get the other person's name off. Defiantely get with the lawer before you do anything. They'll help you figure out what you can and can't do. That way you'll be covered later. And in California you have to go to mandatory mediation in a child custody issues before you can go before a judge (at least that's how it was explained to me). I was able to use this to my advantage and get things settled without the cost of having to take a lawyer to court. Hang in there, it will get better just not for while. Oh and try to keep Nick out of it as much as you can, that is the absolute hardest part. __________________ My life is so exciting I can hardly stand it.
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04-09-2007, 10:05 AM	#7724
JWBear Worn Romantic Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Long Beach California Posts: 8,435	<<<HUGS>>> __________________ Unrestrained frivolity will lead to the downfall of modern society.
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04-09-2007, 10:37 AM	#7725
cirquelover Cruising around in my automobile... Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Oregon Posts: 2,617	I'm so sorry. Hang in there for you and your son, it will get better. You always know you can come here to vent, cry or just talk.
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04-09-2007, 12:09 PM	#7726
Morrigoon I throw stones at houses Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Location: Location Posts: 9,534	OMG, he told your child to tell you he was cheating??? Okay, I really don't think you need to worry about losing custody. Be sure and bring that up in court. A 10-year old should never be involved at that level. __________________ http://bash.org/?top "It is useless for sheep to pass a resolution in favor of vegetarianism while wolves remain of a different opinion." -- William Randolph Inge
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04-09-2007, 12:49 PM	#7727
BarTopDancer Prepping... Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Here, there, everywhere Posts: 11,405	/hugs. I am so sorry MG. Please try not to worry about custody. He is just trying to hurt you more. Your soon to be ex abandoned his family for another. That isn't going to be looked upon highly in court, no matter how clean her house is. I also seem to recall something about the verbiage on a title or bank account. If it says MouseyGirl and Asshat it is harder to deal with then saying MouseyGirl or Asshat. The or makes it easier to take one person's name off of it. Something you also may want to consider is preparing a formal, or semi-formal child-care plan to show them where N will be staying while you are at work. I could see Asshat trying to say that "she" will be staying at home so N should be able to stay there. Ya, not really a healthy environment for N to be in. Best interest of the child, not best interest of the morons ruining a family. __________________ Spork is the new MacGyver Postcards From My Edge Last edited by BarTopDancer : 04-09-2007 at 12:54 PM.
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04-09-2007, 01:42 PM	#7728
katiesue Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: San Diego Posts: 4,678	If any titles/accounts say and not or you have to have both people sign to close or make any changes to the accounts. No matter which name is listed first. You also can't de-list him from your life insurance without his permission either. And if the phone bill, power etc are in his name. He has to call them to have it switched to yours. Huge pain in the bahooty. __________________ My life is so exciting I can hardly stand it.
	Submit to Quotes

04-09-2007, 03:06 PM	#7729
Morrigoon I throw stones at houses Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Location: Location Posts: 9,534	Depends on how the life insurance is set up. If he's listed as a beneficiary, but not as an owner, no problem to change it. In fact, this is a good idea for everybody: check on your life insurance, and make sure your beneficiary info is up to date. Make sure you have designated secondary beneficiaries in case something ever happens to your primary beneficiary (or you die concurrently with the primary beneficiary). __________________ http://bash.org/?top "It is useless for sheep to pass a resolution in favor of vegetarianism while wolves remain of a different opinion." -- William Randolph Inge
	Submit to Quotes

04-09-2007, 03:10 PM	#7730
Snowflake lost in the fog Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: San Francisco Posts: 7,831	So, I feel like I've been dragged headfirst through a knothole in a pine fence. Felt that way when I got out of bed, on the train and here at my desk. Looking forward to heading home to flop on something and remain in a prone position for the duration of the evening. ugh.
	Submit to Quotes