Avoid Contact

[Bornieo: Fully Loaded]

This has been my week: Boxing up crap at work. Books, computers, files, bookcases, pens, pencils, everything.

Come today I get a call from my mom who says she has a ticket to a show at the Thousand Oaks Civic Arts Plaza. She can't go so, she wants to give me the ticket. I race to her house from work in Studio City and make it to the show about 5 minutes before curtain. I don't know what I'm going to watch. The audience is filled with Senior Citizens and I can feel my youth being sucked from my body.

The show starts and my first impression was - WTF?

It was an agonizing 2 1/2 hours of pure, unquestioned l!#^(#)Q$. The ticket should have had a disclaimer of "Please drink heavily before coming to the show AND if you have any LSD, ****in' go for it!!"

I have never seen anything that uninteresting and plain dumb in my whole life. Who would pay good money to see this **** and who in their right mind would ever say, "hey, let's put on a 2 hour plus snooze fest that will make people wonder what the **** they did with their time." A cow walking across a pasture full of **** would make a better show.

3 acts of confusing dancing, music and general nonsense. The first act was this. We start with a painting of a woman on a swing with some dude (the "slaveboy") in tights pushing her and lying on the ground in a picnic setting is some other jerk (the "jerk"). The curtain parts and they reveal the scene with real people and for the next hour, we watch the guy pushing the girl, they laugh, he pushes, they laugh,they laugh, he pushes, they laugh they laugh, he pushes, they laugh etc. Then the Jerk leaves to get more wine, which apparently was finished off by the writer of this stinkfest because you'd have to be pretty ****in' pickled to write such crap. Meanwhile the two remaining laugh, and ride the swing and laugh, and apparently, and I don't know for "sure," they do the nasty. Yep, they bump ugly on the swing. Back and forth, laughing, Back and forth, laughing. Finally the jerk comes back and they laugh some more and then the two men suddenly switch places. The jerk pushes while Ron Jeremy lies back and giggles. END!

WTF?

I actually left the theater puzzled.

[Motorboat Cruiser]

Sorry you didn't like the show. I did really enjoy your review though. :)

[Kevy Baby]

So other than that Mrs. Lincoln, how did you like the play?

I had to look up the Thousand Oaks Civic Arts Plaza (http://www.toaks.org/theatre/news/displaynews.asp?NewsID=402) web site before I realized that "Contact" was the name of the musical. I thought the title of the thread was like "Don't touch this with a ten foot pole."

With reviews like yours, you start to wonder about reviews like:
See what The New York Times calls "a sustained endorphin rush of an evening…has you floating all the way home!" After becoming an overnight sensation and winning the 2000 Tony for Best Musical, Broadway's breakthrough musical hit is still bewitching audiences across the country.
Recommended for mature audiences.Sorry you wasted your time on this.

Edited to add: I saw this description (http://www.imagi-nation.com/moonstruck/albm89.html) of Contact. Does this help?

[Cadaverous Pallor]

Edited to add: I saw this description (http://www.imagi-nation.com/moonstruck/albm89.html) of Contact. Does this help?Actually, it helps me. I love when the description of such an "extravaganza" really does sound as lame as described. Ugh.

Lesson learned - find ou what you're seeing beforehand. ;)

[Bornieo: Fully Loaded]

Hey Kevy,

I guess they forgot to pump laughing gas into airducts for this performance!
:D

That was the first time I was actually concerned about driving home while NOT drinking.

[Not Afraid]

WOW! This is right up my alley! I see a LOT of contemporary dance, so I think I would really get into this musical.

I'm sorry you had such an awful time with it, Bornieo. I can relate. When I see any Monty Python I have the same reaction.

[alphabassettgrrl]

From the description: "the crowd of sinuous couples swing-dancing to the music of Benny Goodman, The Beach Boys, Robert Palmer, Dion, and The Squirrel Nut Zippers."

What a mix!!! ROFL!!

I'm sorry the show was such a drag. I set up the stage, all the truss and drapes and all, but we didn't have any idea what the show was about. Well, I guess we still don't! Sunday we tear it down and pack it into its trucks. Good riddance? :)

Usually Theater League chooses better shows. Cats is coming... wanna see that? Another show that doesn't have a plot. :)