The LoT High School Reunion

[Disneyphile]

I've always felt that high school reunions are a fun way to see how people have changed over the years.

How have you changed since your high school days? Do you dress differently? Do you have different interests and hobbies? What's different about you?

These are my most significant changes:

Emotions

"Love" is not just an emotion. It's also very much an action.
The world is not going to end if I don't get to do something, like miss a concert, etc. The world is also not going to end if I don't have a S.O.
What seems to be "mean", is most often honesty.
Others only laugh at me if I can't laugh at myself.
Listening to criticism is a good thing. It can help me grow and try new things.


Appearance

I wear jeans and t-shirts a lot more often now.
"Fashion" is overrated.
Style is in the eye of the wearer.
I will not sacrifice comfort for "fashion".
I don't mind leaving the house without make-up in most cases.
My hair was constantly permed from 6th grade until 3 years ago. :eek:


Ethics/Goals

Being popular and/or monetarily wealthy is not necessary to being successful and happy.
I don't need to keep up with the Joneses. Just because "everyone else" has one, doesn't mean I need or even want one too.
Accepting myself is far more important than the acceptance of others.


Other Stuff

I used to absolutely hate onions. I love them now.
I used to be Christian, but now I'm Pagan.
During my teen years, I didn't care about Disney that much.
I used to be a total "fan girl" about some things, but will now burn out on things if enjoyed in mass quantity in a short amount of time. (Yes, I even get burned out on going to Disneyland too often.)


The kicker - when I graduated, I wanted to be in the music industry and become famous. I always had a strong interest in what I do now, but it was all about being on a stage so I could have others immediately accept me at the time. Now, it's just about doing what I truly love. I don't need the applause or popularity.

[LSPoorEeyorick]

Wow, fun - I was just about to post a similar thread based on a recent Pop Candy thread, where a high school freshman girl asked blogger Whitney Matheson (and her fans) for advice on how to get through high school. I've posted there but I can't yet tell if my comment is being reviewed or the internet dingoes ate my brain-baby.

The biggest change for me came between the start of freshman year (in middle school) and the end of sophomore year (my first in high school.) Middle school was a quest to 'fit in,' to climb a social ladder and be one of the popular people. Never mind that the popular people were actually pretty dull, less than creative, and didn't share my interests. But they were popular.

A little time on that path showed me that the road to popularity is clogged with sheep, all looking to be as conformed as possible to whomever made the style rules – the prom queens, the queen bees, the bee-more-like-me types. And the only way these sheep stepped out of line was to undermine any creative thought. In retrospect, I think their actions had far more to do with wanting to have the "upper hand," make someone else look bad in order to look cooler, to make sure their own deviations and missteps went unnoticed.

Somewhere along the way, my creative thought became far more important to me than the sheep who were trying to suppress it. I quit being a pom-pon girl. I became passionate about theater. I watched movies obsessively. I practiced piano and saxophone endlessly. I danced in my basement, where nobody was watching. And then I danced with other actors in a summer production of Oklahoma! And then, my new theater and band/orchestra friends and I danced in front of lockers, and in pep rallies, and in parking lots, to music that other people didn't know (sometimes that other people couldn't hear – or imagine.) When other people wouldn't dance. Even when other people made fun of us for dancing. We didn't care, though. We were dancing, and singing, and laughing, and supporting each other, and the sheeple no longer mattered. I'm still in contact – pre-Facebook, even – with most of those friends. We don't see each other as often, but whenever we do, it's as though not a single day has passed.

Between those two school years, I met the boy who became my first boyfriend. Though we eventually grew apart a few years later, I don't give him as much credit as I should for introducing me to musical theater, and essentially, changing my life. I'm very happy that today, he's doing the same thing for his theater students back in our home state. But with him, I learned how (and how not) to have a relationship. We shared interests, sure. But I was self-conscious, a little selfish. He was a little selfish too. We were children, really, and I'd been programmed to imagine that the "happily ever after" came as soon as you kissed that first frog. This is rarely the case, especially when the very young are in love and yet very immature. The difference I see in me today, when it comes to love, is that I understand you have to meet just the right person at just the right time – and then, you have to communicate, you have to compromise, you have to be willing to give of yourself more than you're willing to take. And if your partner is also willing, and you both put in the effort, love can be more than a shallow dream, it can be a reality full of depth and power. I'd like to take a moment to thank Jeff, for breaking up with me all those years ago. It made possible the relationship with my husband, which humbles me daily. It made possible Jeff's brand-new baby boy.

My tastes have changed somewhat. I grew up in a smallish town in Michigan, and not a huge amount of variety was available for a girl who wore a size 16. So as the towns I lived in got bigger and bigger (literally – from Midland to Ann Arbor to Indianapolis to Washington DC to Los Angeles) I got more and more excited about expressing my creativity in a way that had been previously unavailable to me. Clothing. Accessories. Furniture. Living spaces. Not a lot of variety was available from big-box chain stores. Big-box restaurants, too. I went from youth without any ethnic food, to the occasional Chinese, to trying to explore all of the cultures and flavors I could get my hands on. And once I got to Los Angeles, I hit the jackpot. Any kind of culture, museum, food, shopping… in the realm of possibility. And the plus-sized clothes. Oh, the plus-sized clothes! The siren call of vintage Los Angeles swept over me, and suddenly I was wearing interesting dresses, admiring antique jewelry, adding an unusual scarf here and there… I feel much more comfortable and confident in a unique or unusual outfit that fits me well than I do in anything else. And what matters to me most is that I like it, that I feel good. Others may roll their eyes at my choices - quite honestly, I don't know, and quite honestly, I don't care. I'm happy with my own sense of style.

A marked difference between then and now is my willingness to put myself out there. In high school, I wasn't afraid to try out for anything, give anything a shot. Then, and again in college, I was productive, downright prolific. I directed. I wrote. I went right up to the people in charge and said, "hey, I've got an idea." These days, though I do have the semi-valid excuse of having a busy job, I've got lots of ideas but I'm not working on them often enough, and I'm definitely not seeking out the people who can help me make it happen. Now and then I have a breakthrough. I might've had one recently, even. But I could benefit from taking a risk as easily as I did in high school.

I've got a lot more to learn. I was on my honeymoon during my 10th, but I hope that by the time my 20th comes along, I can look back at today and see all the ways I've grown and change. And my 30th… and my 40th… and my 50th…

[Alex]

I have no real idea how I've changed. You'd have to ask others and I've made sure there is no other person who could cover that continuum.

It is kind of like how I can't remember not being able to read. Or not understanding division of fractions. Or even not having a bear that is full of gray.

The change is gradual so I just assume I've always been the way I am. If I try to picture myself in third grade, I'm still a 6-foot-tall fat guy amongst the midgets.

However, one thing I know has changed is that I am now willing to regularly wear non-sneaker shoe types (though I have worn the exact same model of Rockports for a decade). Also, though it might not seem like it, I have learned that just because someone says they don't know something that I do know doesn't mean they are always eager for me to enlighten them.

[Ghoulish Delight]

Good timing. I just attended a wedding for a close high school (and jr. high school) friend, the last of my closest high school friends to get hitched.

Had you asked me this prior to this weekend I would have listed a lot of changes. But this weekend made me realize that many of those that I would list do not constitute actual change, but rather an error in perception.

I spent most of high school concerned with whether I was liked or not. And I pretty regularly came to the conclusion that I was not. Tolerated at best, a hanger on to a couple different groups who were "real friends" with each other.

Spending the weekend celebrating with those friends has opened my eyes to the fact that any such insecurities were of my own making. Even during senior year, when I got over much of my fear of social rejection, I was never convinced that I was truly part of any group. But I was finally able to take a step back and realize that the fault for any distance was squarely on me, that those friends would have been happy at any time to accept me if I had let my apprehension drop and just join in the fun.

And I'm happy to report that it still holds true. I think I'm lucky in this day and age that I still have contact with a core group of high school friends. You share a lot in high school and the relationships you build there are pretty damned unique. We're mostly scattered, and see each other only rarely, but when we do it's like only a moment has passed.

So what's changed? Confidence mostly. That's what it boils down to.

Oh, and lot more drinking, drugs, and sex. Infinitely more on all fronts, as a matter of fact, since I'd had none of those before graduation day (the drinking started ON graduation day).

[Gn2Dlnd]

Or even not having a bear that is full of gray.



http://www.loungeoftomorrow.com/LoT/image.php?u=28&dateline=1173186069&type=profile
You rang?

[Gn2Dlnd]

Interesting, I just scanned this the other night.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v325/gn2dlnd/Classof80.jpg

Wish I could have a nice talk with that guy, warn him about a few things, tell him not to spend so much time being afraid of the world. And that the world is infinitely larger than Corona High School.

[Capt Jack]

yeah, definitely wish I could meet my HS self at this point....


I'd soo beat the livin' **** out of him, you cant begin to imagine.
what a fvckwit he was.

is?


eh, was.

[wendybeth]

Lol, CJ. :snap:

I'm not all that different- maybe a little less idealistic, but many of the opinions I formed back then still hold. Such as : Chronological age does not ensure maturity (nearly the entire staff of my HS taught me that), insanity does run in families, most popular kids peak at HS and spend the rest of their years trying to recapture that glory (I was semi- popular, but definitely outside the norm at my school), Punk music rules, no home is a home without a cat or two, and my brothers are idiots.

Friends have tried to get me to go to reunions, but it's the same old former cheerleader chairwoman that organizes the same dumb events every year. Golf, luncheon, golf, golf and then the dinner where everywhere stands around thinking about how very much time has ravaged everyone else, and hoping they don't look as bad. Good times, good times.

[Not Afraid]

ok not sure I can remember that far back.

[wendybeth]

The Eighties were rough on me too, NA.;)



(But they were fun!)

[Cadaverous Pallor]

Visible mojo for Gn2Dlnd, since I can't mojo you. What a cutie! :D

My high school self saw no reason to put in effort in class. Very unlike me as I am now. I tell my coworkers I was (barely) a C student and they don't believe me. I had no plan, no goals whatsoever, in any facet of my life. My family had no idea how to instill such a concept. Life was merely tolerated as a means to the end of watching television and generally doing nothing. I did have a love of information and learning for its own sake, but as soon as it was structured in any way, I was out.

I hated nearly all of my teachers, probably mostly because they had power over me. I did love Academic Decathlon (and scored best in team) for some very simple reasons: There wasn't a teacher, there was a coach; the information I learned was all new to me and involved new ways of thinking about technology, art, etc; and it was a competition.

I briefly dated a boy who, a couple years after we broke up, died in a car accident. I had a guy on the football team chase me a while, but it quickly turned from flirting to stalking. Instead, I dated a guy who turned out to be gay (and more than a little crazy, too). After high school I still knew nothing about relationships, as these never went further than kissing.

My wardrobe was 90% hand-me-downs and thrift shop purchases. I wore my mom's 70's clothing, mixed with the few pieces I bought from the local skimpy slutty chick shop (which I often biked to). One day it was slashed men's jeans and men's flannels, the next it was tiny jeans shorts with bright tights underneath and a too-large t-shirt.

I don't cringe when looking back at myself then. For some reason I still "own it" with all of its faults. Yup, that was me, dressed like a tomboy and a whore at the same time, sitting with the misfits that I hated, eventually getting my personality in order so I could make some real friends and have some real fun. It was what it was, and I could never ask her to be anything else, as I still understand her and her (lack of) motivation.

[Betty]

Wish I could have a nice talk with that guy, warn him about a few things, tell him not to spend so much time being afraid of the world. And that the world is infinitely larger than Corona High School.

Yesterday was my daugther's first day at Corona High School as a freshman. Any advice for her seeings as how you went to the same school? (I'm assuming you're meaning Corona CA of course.)

[BarTopDancer]

The one thing I'd tell myself (and do tell others) is that once you leave high school the people worth knowing aren't the ones who care who you were then.

No amount of money could ever get me back to high school, even knowing what I know now.

[flippyshark]

I've skipped all of my high school reunions so far. I've kept up with a few good folks, but overall, it wasn't a happy time, and I don't take any pleasure in revisiting it. Plus, I was kind of an asshat at the time.

[BarTopDancer]

My 10 year reunion was the same night as the night portion a 2 day MouseAdventure. I picked MA without thinking twice. No regrets.

[Cadaverous Pallor]

I skipped a reunion because it was ridiculously expensive and a reunion of 3 consecutive graduating years. No thanks.

[Disneyphile]

I skipped a reunion because it was ridiculously expensive and a reunion of 3 consecutive graduating years. No thanks.Ooooh. I'd like that better, because I mainly knew people either one grade above or below. There were some great peeps there, but in my own class... um, not so much.

[Gn2Dlnd]

Yesterday was my daugther's first day at Corona High School as a freshman. Any advice for her seeings as how you went to the same school? (I'm assuming you're meaning Corona CA of course.)

Um, go Panthers?

You know, 28 years later, I can't imagine that any of the teachers I had are still there. Like anyone looking back on high school, it was a mix of peer pressure, bullying, unreported inappropriate behavior by teachers, and an unhappy home life. Oh, and coming to terms with being gay during the '70s. What? That's not everyone's experience?

Just help her to know that the world doesn't begin and end at CHS. If she's having fun at school, great. If she's not, get her involved with community theater or horseback riding. Something meaningful that has no connection to what goes on on campus.

[alphabassettgrrl]

I have to think about this. I haven't gone to any of my reunions, even the ones I knew about. The list of "I wonder what they're up to" is pretty small. I am still in touch with the only one that I actually care about. She kind of keeps up on a little bit of our old crowd.

[frodo potter]

I look back on high school and just want to laugh.

The boy I was then is so different from the man I am now. In high school I never felt like I belonged, I was always on the outside looking in, and trying to be part of a group any group. I felt like I didn't fit even with the outcasts.

I always did well in class because I liked being right, and answering teacher's questions was one time I knew I could be right. However, my social skills were painfully poor.

I had been a large kid and even after puberty I always thought of myself as the "fat kid." I was never motivated to work out, get into shape, or gain any physical skills, so even when I lost weight I was still uncoordinated, which I though of as being fat. Looking back I was not fat at all, much smaller than I am now in fact, but I always thought of myself that way.

Clothing: I wore rugby shirts and jeans all the time in high school. if it was colder that 80 I was in a rugby shirt and jeans. (I thought they kinda hid the fat.)

Grooming: I hated "dressing up," I would never comb my hair, tuck in my shirt, or even bother buttoning my rugby shirts right.

Social: I loved forced group activities, that is activities where there was something going on besides just hanging out. I felt awkward talking to people so having a purpose made socializing easier for me. So, I was into D&D, a lot, theater, chess, boy scouts, ren faire and so on. Now all these things are great and I still like some of them but I was obsessed then.

all in all I don't regret who I was in high school but I wish I could go back and tell myself "this really doesn't matter that much, the world doesn't care that you didn't have friends in high school, don't try so hard it just makes you look desperate."

[Gn2Dlnd]

So, I was into D&D, a lot, theater, chess, boy scouts, ren faire and so on.

Truly, a man ahead of his time! :D

Oh, and I was certainly into boy scouts, too. If you know what I mean, nudge nudge, grin grin, wink wink, SAY NO MORE!

[katiesue]

I’ll say it – I had a great time in High School. Oh I wasn’t a cheerleader or homecoming queen or anything. I had friends in all the different groups. I lettered in Track & Field Hockey, was editor of the school paper, was on Student Counsel. I also did lots of horribly stupid things. I was never where I was supposed to be, snuck out, oh all kinds of insane stuff but gosh it was a whole lotta fun.

Going to a smaller school – I think we were 800 students total, my class is 184 – the cliques were a little less defined. The captain of the football team was also in band. Cheerleaders were in plays. Since we were smaller you could play sports if you weren’t a superstar and have a decent chance at other activities as well. We also had some really great teachers. One of our English teachers was such a Shakespeare fan that senior year we all signed up for an elective class in Shakespeare in which we spent the entire year just reading plays aloud.

I also sort of lucked out in an odd way. My best friend, starting in 6th grade, spent the fall at another school. Then when we were sophomores got sent to boarding school. So I always had a best friend she just wasn’t ever actually there. I didn’t need to try and fit in with a clique because I had that connection. I hung out with whoever I wanted to. Also J went to school in Palo Alto which was an entirely different world from where we lived. So I got exposed to all kinds of different music, movies, even the beginning of the Aids epidemic. Stuff that I never would have if she hadn’t gone to school there. Also I must say the advent of MTV. We had one AM radio station. And at some point the Junior College had some sort of underground FM one. Your exposure to different kinds of music was really limited. And one movie theatre meant they only show one at a time. Lots of things never even played there.

I apparently had a totally warped view of myself. I always thought I was kind of a goober. I didn’t think I was ugly but not anything to write home about. I didn’t try all that hard in class. I just didn’t’ get it. Example in AP English I’d get up the day a paper was due about 4:30 and type it up, first draft/last draft. My grade would usually be a B+ (cause the teacher was an ass and knew I only just wrote it). My over achieving friends would do multiple drafts, have conferences with the teacher, and they would get an A-. I just didn’t see why I would bother with all that effort for a half a grade point.

I put together our 20th reunion and it was really fun. I learned that apparently I was popular, people did like me, who knew? Another oddity of the small town is a large group of us have been in school together forever. I think 20 started at Pre-School. So even if you weren’t bestest buds at some point in 14 years you had classes with almost everyone. Or you played Bobby Sox, or were in Campfire Girls, or swim lessons. I had a classmate call me after the reunion to say that he was glad he went. Most of his “buddies” weren’t there but he said it was so great to catch up with guys he was friends with in younger grades that he hadn’t really talked to in High School.

I’m now working on our 25th for next summer. I realize that reunions aren’t for everyone. I have a few friends who wouldn’t attend if you kidnapped them. And that’s fine. I know why they feel that way, although in one case good lord let it go – no one cares anymore.

One of the more interesting things in listening to conversations at our last reunion was it wasn’t really about high school. It was “remember in third grade when…” or “what about the time in cub scouts.” And people just catching up. I didn’t hear a lot of snarky “good lord look how fat she is” or “damn he’s let himself go”. More just what are you doing now, how old are your kids.

[€uroMeinke]

I seem to have managed to harvest the best people from my High School experience and plant them here. A tad different, more experience or worldly, but still among the coolest folks I know.

More reflections later

[alphabassettgrrl]

Things that come to mind that have changed:

I learned during high school to tell the larger community to go fly a kite. I'm still working on remembering that; some days it's easier than others.
I don't try to fit into groups. I find groups that fit me now. Or more commonly, individual people who fit me. In school I tried (initially) to look like the cool girls, to be like them, tried to be accepted. I learned they weren't going to accept me, and I found I really didn't care. Their lifestyle was rather boring.

I didn't go to parties in high school. Not commonly, anyway, and certainly nothing with alcohol or drugs. I only remember once my friends and I showed up at a party, and there was booze; we turned around and walked out. Part of that was fear of my mother, and part of it was that I really wasn't interested in getting wasted. I did a lot of partying in college, but some of that was escapism, and some of it was wanting to be liked, and some of it was exploring something I hadn't had a chance to do before.

I thought there was something wrong with me in school because I wasn't boy-crazy. Now I know- I should have dated girls. Instead, I dated boys that looked like girls or were otherwise "safe". The longest-running one was with a boy who lived 30 miles away (was a big deal at that point) and was available if I needed a date for something but was otherwise safely out of the way.

I did develop my own sense of style, which was sometimes off-kilter. I'd wear a dress and heels for no reason. I wore an outfit inspired by Doctor Who #5. I was usually put-together, no rips in my clothes, things matched. I frequently wore pink and pastels because I was told that is what looks good on blondes. I don't like pastels. I hate pink. Now mostly I wear t-shirts and jeans; I'm working on doing better than that.

Possibly more to come. :)

[scaeagles]

I was a total jerk user womaning self absorbed arrogant ass.

I'd like to think I'm not any of those anymore, but I have no doubt there are those who would use at least some of those adjectives on me from time to time.

I went to my 20th, and honestly was surprised at how many people were happy to see me. I had kept in touch with a few very close friends, and others I had expected to have no desire to talk with me were some of the ones most genuinely interested in talking. I was quite fortunate to have friends and acquaintenances who were better people than I was.

[€uroMeinke]

I'm less absolute.

I was into punk and new wave music and felt nothing else had merit - well, except maybe some classical. Now there isn't a genre I can't take some interest in or appreciation, even country.

I was all for reason and rationality, got downright mean spirited and nasty to the religious, but have since learned to respect other beliefs - though when hit with unyielding dogma I can still hit back. On the other hand I've also come to realize that reason is the tool people use to justify doing the things they feel are right, so I've learned to trust my gut and be okay with that.

I was all about creativity, but mostly that meant storytelling, it wasn't until I saw the collection of modern works in my college museum, going with the intent to ridicule them that I learned how spectacular they were, and that visual art was way more that representation.

While I still tend to lean left, particularly when it comes to social issues, I'm mostly apolitical. Being involved in the formation of a PAC taught me that people get into politics to serve their own self-interest, they love single issue voters and idealists because they are easy to manipulate to meet their own goals. I still admire the political idealists, but I hate the nastiness politics seems to spawn, so avoid it as much as possible.

In high school I reveled in being on the fringe, and so made myself belligerently so, now while I still like being in the fringe, I'm more confident with my place there so less belligerent (i.e. threatened).

[Cadaverous Pallor]

I was all about creativity, but mostly that meant storytelling, it wasn't until I saw the collection of modern works in my college museum, going with the intent to ridicule them that I learned how spectacular they were, and that visual art was way more that representation.
I finally grokked art appreciation in my senior year of high school, when Academic Decathlon had us learn about certain classical pieces and various types of visual art. What a fantastic thing, to be opened up to a whole new world of expressiveness. They took us to my first art museum, a life-changing experience. I ended up medaling in Fine Arts.

[Sohrshah]

all in all I don't regret who I was in high school but I wish I could go back and tell myself "this really doesn't matter that much, the world doesn't care that you didn't have friends in high school, don't try so hard it just makes you look desperate."


**HUGS** There was at least one person in high school who did truly care about you. She still does - so much so your entry made her cry.

[Sohrshah]

Ugh. High School.

I went to two high schools, in two states, and I felt a great deal of pressure to fit into not only with some preconceived notion of my parents' making, but also my own struggle to belong in two very different cultures.

My two years in NJ stunted my growth for years to come.

In MA, I was a member of the gay-straight alliance, I played two sports, held a chair in the drama club, had my own BBS, and I had a tattoo artist boyfriend. I was beginning to discover things like piercings, wearing too much black for effect, art, and a good number of other things which would later become staples of my interests and identity.

In New Jersey, I felt like a sqaure-egg, a fish out of water, a freak. Instead of having enough confidence to know I had a right to be myself, that I had worth, I tried to fit in to the culture while outwardly rejecting that culture. I was angry, had an "attitude", and a home-life worse than anyone could imagine. I stopped playing sports, didn't get along with the art or drama teachers- or Social Studies, as I got kicked out of that class, copped an attitude ( why I got kicked out of AP US history II), and found myself in with (but not to say friends with) a very strange group of misfits who I didn't much like. The more hateful I was on the outside, the more I hated myself on the inside.

I also grappled with my sexual orientation - keeping a toxic friendship that was essentially my first same-sex relationship.

By the time I got to college I was utterly confused about my sexuality, and I hated everything about myself. I thought I was a hideous monster, unfit for humanity.

How wrong I was, and I am repairing myself to this day.

All in all, high school sucked.

[Capt Jack]

barring the more modernized aspects, this (represents) HS as I remember it pretty well.

http://img386.imageshack.us/img386/3973/12192668727399090820um3.gif

:(



well...that one...and this one

http://i38.tinypic.com/3129zl3.jpg

[Mousey Girl]

Growing up in a tiny town, all I wanted was to me invisible, annonymous. I would beg my parents to move, so I could go to a bigger schol, one where your mistakes in 4th grade didn't continue to haunt you in 10th.

I got my wish when we were forced to move to Bakersfield. It was great for me. I was going into 11th grade. I was able to really, truly be myself. I excelled in drama and in my grades. I was out of my perfect sister's shadow for the first time. It was the fresh start I had been craving.

I had very few close friends, but that was fine with me. I stuck to myself. I made my mistakes, but no one was there with a magnifying glass examining me.

Since high school (22 years), I feel that I am still the same in a lot of ways. I continue to have very few close friends, but the ones I have are worth their weight in gold.

The main change that I have gone through is my sense of self worth and my own body image. I will never be a size 2 (or even 14), but that is ok.

I also never saw myself being a mom. I never wanted to have kids. Now I can't even begin to imagine what my life would have been like without The Boy. Even when he is a snot, he keeps me going.

[alphabassettgrrl]

I continue to have very few close friends, but the ones I have are worth their weight in gold.

Cheers to this!!!