The LoT High School Reunion

Disneyphile · 09-03-2008, 03:05 PM

I've always felt that high school reunions are a fun way to see how people have changed over the years.

How have you changed since your high school days? Do you dress differently? Do you have different interests and hobbies? What's different about you?

These are my most significant changes:

Emotions

"Love" is not just an emotion. It's also very much an action.
The world is not going to end if I don't get to do something, like miss a concert, etc. The world is also not going to end if I don't have a S.O.
What seems to be "mean", is most often honesty.
Others only laugh at me if I can't laugh at myself.
Listening to criticism is a good thing. It can help me grow and try new things.

Appearance

I wear jeans and t-shirts a lot more often now.
"Fashion" is overrated.
Style is in the eye of the wearer.
I will not sacrifice comfort for "fashion".
I don't mind leaving the house without make-up in most cases.
My hair was constantly permed from 6th grade until 3 years ago.

Ethics/Goals

Being popular and/or monetarily wealthy is not necessary to being successful and happy.
I don't need to keep up with the Joneses. Just because "everyone else" has one, doesn't mean I need or even want one too.
Accepting myself is far more important than the acceptance of others.

Other Stuff

I used to absolutely hate onions. I love them now.
I used to be Christian, but now I'm Pagan.
During my teen years, I didn't care about Disney that much.
I used to be a total "fan girl" about some things, but will now burn out on things if enjoyed in mass quantity in a short amount of time. (Yes, I even get burned out on going to Disneyland too often.)

The kicker - when I graduated, I wanted to be in the music industry and become famous. I always had a strong interest in what I do now, but it was all about being on a stage so I could have others immediately accept me at the time. Now, it's just about doing what I truly love. I don't need the applause or popularity.

LSPoorEeyorick · 09-03-2008, 04:12 PM

Wow, fun - I was just about to post a similar thread based on a recent Pop Candy thread, where a high school freshman girl asked blogger Whitney Matheson (and her fans) for advice on how to get through high school. I've posted there but I can't yet tell if my comment is being reviewed or the internet dingoes ate my brain-baby.

The biggest change for me came between the start of freshman year (in middle school) and the end of sophomore year (my first in high school.) Middle school was a quest to 'fit in,' to climb a social ladder and be one of the popular people. Never mind that the popular people were actually pretty dull, less than creative, and didn't share my interests. But they were popular.

A little time on that path showed me that the road to popularity is clogged with sheep, all looking to be as conformed as possible to whomever made the style rules – the prom queens, the queen bees, the bee-more-like-me types. And the only way these sheep stepped out of line was to undermine any creative thought. In retrospect, I think their actions had far more to do with wanting to have the "upper hand," make someone else look bad in order to look cooler, to make sure their own deviations and missteps went unnoticed.

Somewhere along the way, my creative thought became far more important to me than the sheep who were trying to suppress it. I quit being a pom-pon girl. I became passionate about theater. I watched movies obsessively. I practiced piano and saxophone endlessly. I danced in my basement, where nobody was watching. And then I danced with other actors in a summer production of Oklahoma! And then, my new theater and band/orchestra friends and I danced in front of lockers, and in pep rallies, and in parking lots, to music that other people didn't know (sometimes that other people couldn't hear – or imagine.) When other people wouldn't dance. Even when other people made fun of us for dancing. We didn't care, though. We were dancing, and singing, and laughing, and supporting each other, and the sheeple no longer mattered. I'm still in contact – pre-Facebook, even – with most of those friends. We don't see each other as often, but whenever we do, it's as though not a single day has passed.

Between those two school years, I met the boy who became my first boyfriend. Though we eventually grew apart a few years later, I don't give him as much credit as I should for introducing me to musical theater, and essentially, changing my life. I'm very happy that today, he's doing the same thing for his theater students back in our home state. But with him, I learned how (and how not) to have a relationship. We shared interests, sure. But I was self-conscious, a little selfish. He was a little selfish too. We were children, really, and I'd been programmed to imagine that the "happily ever after" came as soon as you kissed that first frog. This is rarely the case, especially when the very young are in love and yet very immature. The difference I see in me today, when it comes to love, is that I understand you have to meet just the right person at just the right time – and then, you have to communicate, you have to compromise, you have to be willing to give of yourself more than you're willing to take. And if your partner is also willing, and you both put in the effort, love can be more than a shallow dream, it can be a reality full of depth and power. I'd like to take a moment to thank Jeff, for breaking up with me all those years ago. It made possible the relationship with my husband, which humbles me daily. It made possible Jeff's brand-new baby boy.

My tastes have changed somewhat. I grew up in a smallish town in Michigan, and not a huge amount of variety was available for a girl who wore a size 16. So as the towns I lived in got bigger and bigger (literally – from Midland to Ann Arbor to Indianapolis to Washington DC to Los Angeles) I got more and more excited about expressing my creativity in a way that had been previously unavailable to me. Clothing. Accessories. Furniture. Living spaces. Not a lot of variety was available from big-box chain stores. Big-box restaurants, too. I went from youth without any ethnic food, to the occasional Chinese, to trying to explore all of the cultures and flavors I could get my hands on. And once I got to Los Angeles, I hit the jackpot. Any kind of culture, museum, food, shopping… in the realm of possibility. And the plus-sized clothes. Oh, the plus-sized clothes! The siren call of vintage Los Angeles swept over me, and suddenly I was wearing interesting dresses, admiring antique jewelry, adding an unusual scarf here and there… I feel much more comfortable and confident in a unique or unusual outfit that fits me well than I do in anything else. And what matters to me most is that I like it, that I feel good. Others may roll their eyes at my choices - quite honestly, I don't know, and quite honestly, I don't care. I'm happy with my own sense of style.

A marked difference between then and now is my willingness to put myself out there. In high school, I wasn't afraid to try out for anything, give anything a shot. Then, and again in college, I was productive, downright prolific. I directed. I wrote. I went right up to the people in charge and said, "hey, I've got an idea." These days, though I do have the semi-valid excuse of having a busy job, I've got lots of ideas but I'm not working on them often enough, and I'm definitely not seeking out the people who can help me make it happen. Now and then I have a breakthrough. I might've had one recently, even. But I could benefit from taking a risk as easily as I did in high school.

I've got a lot more to learn. I was on my honeymoon during my 10th, but I hope that by the time my 20th comes along, I can look back at today and see all the ways I've grown and change. And my 30th… and my 40th… and my 50th…

Alex · 09-03-2008, 04:21 PM

I have no real idea how I've changed. You'd have to ask others and I've made sure there is no other person who could cover that continuum.

It is kind of like how I can't remember not being able to read. Or not understanding division of fractions. Or even not having a bear that is full of gray.

The change is gradual so I just assume I've always been the way I am. If I try to picture myself in third grade, I'm still a 6-foot-tall fat guy amongst the midgets.

However, one thing I know has changed is that I am now willing to regularly wear non-sneaker shoe types (though I have worn the exact same model of Rockports for a decade). Also, though it might not seem like it, I have learned that just because someone says they don't know something that I do know doesn't mean they are always eager for me to enlighten them.

Ghoulish Delight · 09-03-2008, 04:26 PM

Good timing. I just attended a wedding for a close high school (and jr. high school) friend, the last of my closest high school friends to get hitched.

Had you asked me this prior to this weekend I would have listed a lot of changes. But this weekend made me realize that many of those that I would list do not constitute actual change, but rather an error in perception.

I spent most of high school concerned with whether I was liked or not. And I pretty regularly came to the conclusion that I was not. Tolerated at best, a hanger on to a couple different groups who were "real friends" with each other.

Spending the weekend celebrating with those friends has opened my eyes to the fact that any such insecurities were of my own making. Even during senior year, when I got over much of my fear of social rejection, I was never convinced that I was truly part of any group. But I was finally able to take a step back and realize that the fault for any distance was squarely on me, that those friends would have been happy at any time to accept me if I had let my apprehension drop and just join in the fun.

And I'm happy to report that it still holds true. I think I'm lucky in this day and age that I still have contact with a core group of high school friends. You share a lot in high school and the relationships you build there are pretty damned unique. We're mostly scattered, and see each other only rarely, but when we do it's like only a moment has passed.

So what's changed? Confidence mostly. That's what it boils down to.

Oh, and lot more drinking, drugs, and sex. Infinitely more on all fronts, as a matter of fact, since I'd had none of those before graduation day (the drinking started ON graduation day).

Gn2Dlnd · 09-03-2008, 04:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alex

Or even not having a bear that is full of gray.

You rang?

Gn2Dlnd · 09-03-2008, 04:41 PM

Interesting, I just scanned this the other night.

Wish I could have a nice talk with that guy, warn him about a few things, tell him not to spend so much time being afraid of the world. And that the world is infinitely larger than Corona High School.

Capt Jack · 09-03-2008, 04:53 PM

yeah, definitely wish I could meet my HS self at this point....

I'd soo beat the livin' **** out of him, you cant begin to imagine.
what a fvckwit he was.

is?

eh, was.

wendybeth · 09-03-2008, 05:31 PM

Lol, CJ.

I'm not all that different- maybe a little less idealistic, but many of the opinions I formed back then still hold. Such as : Chronological age does not ensure maturity (nearly the entire staff of my HS taught me that), insanity does run in families, most popular kids peak at HS and spend the rest of their years trying to recapture that glory (I was semi- popular, but definitely outside the norm at my school), Punk music rules, no home is a home without a cat or two, and my brothers are idiots.

Friends have tried to get me to go to reunions, but it's the same old former cheerleader chairwoman that organizes the same dumb events every year. Golf, luncheon, golf, golf and then the dinner where everywhere stands around thinking about how very much time has ravaged everyone else, and hoping they don't look as bad. Good times, good times.

Not Afraid · 09-03-2008, 05:46 PM

ok not sure I can remember that far back.

wendybeth · 09-03-2008, 05:47 PM

The Eighties were rough on me too, NA.

(But they were fun!)

09-03-2008, 03:05 PM	#1
Disneyphile SQUIRREL! Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: On the curbside. Posts: 5,098	The LoT High School Reunion I've always felt that high school reunions are a fun way to see how people have changed over the years. How have you changed since your high school days? Do you dress differently? Do you have different interests and hobbies? What's different about you? These are my most significant changes: Emotions "Love" is not just an emotion. It's also very much an action. The world is not going to end if I don't get to do something, like miss a concert, etc. The world is also not going to end if I don't have a S.O. What seems to be "mean", is most often honesty. Others only laugh at me if I can't laugh at myself. Listening to criticism is a good thing. It can help me grow and try new things. Appearance I wear jeans and t-shirts a lot more often now. "Fashion" is overrated. Style is in the eye of the wearer. I will not sacrifice comfort for "fashion". I don't mind leaving the house without make-up in most cases. My hair was constantly permed from 6th grade until 3 years ago. Ethics/Goals Being popular and/or monetarily wealthy is not necessary to being successful and happy. I don't need to keep up with the Joneses. Just because "everyone else" has one, doesn't mean I need or even want one too. Accepting myself is far more important than the acceptance of others. Other Stuff I used to absolutely hate onions. I love them now. I used to be Christian, but now I'm Pagan. During my teen years, I didn't care about Disney that much. I used to be a total "fan girl" about some things, but will now burn out on things if enjoyed in mass quantity in a short amount of time. (Yes, I even get burned out on going to Disneyland too often.) The kicker - when I graduated, I wanted to be in the music industry and become famous. I always had a strong interest in what I do now, but it was all about being on a stage so I could have others immediately accept me at the time. Now, it's just about doing what I truly love. I don't need the applause or popularity.
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09-03-2008, 04:12 PM	#2
LSPoorEeyorick scribblin' Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: in the moment Posts: 3,872	Wow, fun - I was just about to post a similar thread based on a recent Pop Candy thread, where a high school freshman girl asked blogger Whitney Matheson (and her fans) for advice on how to get through high school. I've posted there but I can't yet tell if my comment is being reviewed or the internet dingoes ate my brain-baby. The biggest change for me came between the start of freshman year (in middle school) and the end of sophomore year (my first in high school.) Middle school was a quest to 'fit in,' to climb a social ladder and be one of the popular people. Never mind that the popular people were actually pretty dull, less than creative, and didn't share my interests. But they were popular. A little time on that path showed me that the road to popularity is clogged with sheep, all looking to be as conformed as possible to whomever made the style rules – the prom queens, the queen bees, the bee-more-like-me types. And the only way these sheep stepped out of line was to undermine any creative thought. In retrospect, I think their actions had far more to do with wanting to have the "upper hand," make someone else look bad in order to look cooler, to make sure their own deviations and missteps went unnoticed. Somewhere along the way, my creative thought became far more important to me than the sheep who were trying to suppress it. I quit being a pom-pon girl. I became passionate about theater. I watched movies obsessively. I practiced piano and saxophone endlessly. I danced in my basement, where nobody was watching. And then I danced with other actors in a summer production of Oklahoma! And then, my new theater and band/orchestra friends and I danced in front of lockers, and in pep rallies, and in parking lots, to music that other people didn't know (sometimes that other people couldn't hear – or imagine.) When other people wouldn't dance. Even when other people made fun of us for dancing. We didn't care, though. We were dancing, and singing, and laughing, and supporting each other, and the sheeple no longer mattered. I'm still in contact – pre-Facebook, even – with most of those friends. We don't see each other as often, but whenever we do, it's as though not a single day has passed. Between those two school years, I met the boy who became my first boyfriend. Though we eventually grew apart a few years later, I don't give him as much credit as I should for introducing me to musical theater, and essentially, changing my life. I'm very happy that today, he's doing the same thing for his theater students back in our home state. But with him, I learned how (and how not) to have a relationship. We shared interests, sure. But I was self-conscious, a little selfish. He was a little selfish too. We were children, really, and I'd been programmed to imagine that the "happily ever after" came as soon as you kissed that first frog. This is rarely the case, especially when the very young are in love and yet very immature. The difference I see in me today, when it comes to love, is that I understand you have to meet just the right person at just the right time – and then, you have to communicate, you have to compromise, you have to be willing to give of yourself more than you're willing to take. And if your partner is also willing, and you both put in the effort, love can be more than a shallow dream, it can be a reality full of depth and power. I'd like to take a moment to thank Jeff, for breaking up with me all those years ago. It made possible the relationship with my husband, which humbles me daily. It made possible Jeff's brand-new baby boy. My tastes have changed somewhat. I grew up in a smallish town in Michigan, and not a huge amount of variety was available for a girl who wore a size 16. So as the towns I lived in got bigger and bigger (literally – from Midland to Ann Arbor to Indianapolis to Washington DC to Los Angeles) I got more and more excited about expressing my creativity in a way that had been previously unavailable to me. Clothing. Accessories. Furniture. Living spaces. Not a lot of variety was available from big-box chain stores. Big-box restaurants, too. I went from youth without any ethnic food, to the occasional Chinese, to trying to explore all of the cultures and flavors I could get my hands on. And once I got to Los Angeles, I hit the jackpot. Any kind of culture, museum, food, shopping… in the realm of possibility. And the plus-sized clothes. Oh, the plus-sized clothes! The siren call of vintage Los Angeles swept over me, and suddenly I was wearing interesting dresses, admiring antique jewelry, adding an unusual scarf here and there… I feel much more comfortable and confident in a unique or unusual outfit that fits me well than I do in anything else. And what matters to me most is that I like it, that I feel good. Others may roll their eyes at my choices - quite honestly, I don't know, and quite honestly, I don't care. I'm happy with my own sense of style. A marked difference between then and now is my willingness to put myself out there. In high school, I wasn't afraid to try out for anything, give anything a shot. Then, and again in college, I was productive, downright prolific. I directed. I wrote. I went right up to the people in charge and said, "hey, I've got an idea." These days, though I do have the semi-valid excuse of having a busy job, I've got lots of ideas but I'm not working on them often enough, and I'm definitely not seeking out the people who can help me make it happen. Now and then I have a breakthrough. I might've had one recently, even. But I could benefit from taking a risk as easily as I did in high school. I've got a lot more to learn. I was on my honeymoon during my 10th, but I hope that by the time my 20th comes along, I can look back at today and see all the ways I've grown and change. And my 30th… and my 40th… and my 50th… Last edited by LSPoorEeyorick : 09-03-2008 at 04:18 PM.
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09-03-2008, 04:21 PM	#3
Alex . Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 13,354	I have no real idea how I've changed. You'd have to ask others and I've made sure there is no other person who could cover that continuum. It is kind of like how I can't remember not being able to read. Or not understanding division of fractions. Or even not having a bear that is full of gray. The change is gradual so I just assume I've always been the way I am. If I try to picture myself in third grade, I'm still a 6-foot-tall fat guy amongst the midgets. However, one thing I know has changed is that I am now willing to regularly wear non-sneaker shoe types (though I have worn the exact same model of Rockports for a decade). Also, though it might not seem like it, I have learned that just because someone says they don't know something that I do know doesn't mean they are always eager for me to enlighten them.
	Submit to Quotes

09-03-2008, 04:26 PM	#4
Ghoulish Delight I Floop the Pig Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Alternative Swankstyle Posts: 19,348	Good timing. I just attended a wedding for a close high school (and jr. high school) friend, the last of my closest high school friends to get hitched. Had you asked me this prior to this weekend I would have listed a lot of changes. But this weekend made me realize that many of those that I would list do not constitute actual change, but rather an error in perception. I spent most of high school concerned with whether I was liked or not. And I pretty regularly came to the conclusion that I was not. Tolerated at best, a hanger on to a couple different groups who were "real friends" with each other. Spending the weekend celebrating with those friends has opened my eyes to the fact that any such insecurities were of my own making. Even during senior year, when I got over much of my fear of social rejection, I was never convinced that I was truly part of any group. But I was finally able to take a step back and realize that the fault for any distance was squarely on me, that those friends would have been happy at any time to accept me if I had let my apprehension drop and just join in the fun. And I'm happy to report that it still holds true. I think I'm lucky in this day and age that I still have contact with a core group of high school friends. You share a lot in high school and the relationships you build there are pretty damned unique. We're mostly scattered, and see each other only rarely, but when we do it's like only a moment has passed. So what's changed? Confidence mostly. That's what it boils down to. Oh, and lot more drinking, drugs, and sex. Infinitely more on all fronts, as a matter of fact, since I'd had none of those before graduation day (the drinking started ON graduation day). __________________ 'He who receives an idea from me, receives instruction himself without lessening mine; as he who lights his taper at mine, receives light without darkening me.' -TJ
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09-03-2008, 04:41 PM	#6
Gn2Dlnd Parmmadore Jim Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Casita del Queso Posts: 3,810	Interesting, I just scanned this the other night. Wish I could have a nice talk with that guy, warn him about a few things, tell him not to spend so much time being afraid of the world. And that the world is infinitely larger than Corona High School. __________________ Does anyone still wear a hat?
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09-03-2008, 04:53 PM	#7
Capt Jack check your head Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 4,174	yeah, definitely wish I could meet my HS self at this point.... I'd soo beat the livin' ** out of him, you cant begin to imagine. what a fvckwit he was. is? eh, was. __________________ a clear conscience is a sure sign of a fuzzy memory**
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09-03-2008, 05:31 PM	#8
wendybeth Nevermind Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 7,847	Lol, CJ. I'm not all that different- maybe a little less idealistic, but many of the opinions I formed back then still hold. Such as : Chronological age does not ensure maturity (nearly the entire staff of my HS taught me that), insanity does run in families, most popular kids peak at HS and spend the rest of their years trying to recapture that glory (I was semi- popular, but definitely outside the norm at my school), Punk music rules, no home is a home without a cat or two, and my brothers are idiots. Friends have tried to get me to go to reunions, but it's the same old former cheerleader chairwoman that organizes the same dumb events every year. Golf, luncheon, golf, golf and then the dinner where everywhere stands around thinking about how very much time has ravaged everyone else, and hoping they don't look as bad. Good times, good times. __________________
	Submit to Quotes

09-03-2008, 05:46 PM	#9
Not Afraid HI! Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 17,108	ok not sure I can remember that far back.
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09-03-2008, 05:47 PM	#10
wendybeth Nevermind Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 7,847	The Eighties were rough on me too, NA. (But they were fun!) __________________
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