Lounge of Tomorrow - WTF Stories of the Week

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- - WTF Stories of the Week (http://74.208.121.111/LoT/showthread.php?t=7619)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stan4dSteph (Post 268285)

I'm so glad the FBI is totally on top of this extremely important issue.

Comcast offered customers a whole $10 each if they were impacted by the incident. What do you think of that offer?

If you had kids watching - does it scar them in a way worth more then $10? Or $5 each if you have 2 kids etc.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Betty (Post 268286)

I think it sets up false expectations in our youth that you get paid to watch porn.

I think they should have said:

Quote:

We at Comcast are deeply sorry for what happened and though we'll do everything we can to prevent a repeat in the future it does appear that this event was the result of an intentional circumvention of our processes.

Under normal operating conditions what was shown during the Super Bowl would have included an extra charge of $8.95 and as a sign of our regret over this unfortunate incident Comcast Arizona has magnanimously decided not to charge viewers.

As for parents calling us to tell weepy stories of how their children have been scarred or otherwise irrevocably damaged, please shut up. If your children are so emotionally weak that 30 seconds of a penis does them damage, it is best that you found out now so that you can provide proper padding on any nearby hard surfaces and sharp corners.

Again, we apologize for this event and assure you that this weekends Fright Night Marathon of slasher films on Spike TV and the College Corruption Marathon of stoner comedies on Comedy Central will proceed without any untoward interruption. Fun for the whole family.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moonliner (Post 268288)

I think it sets up false expectations in our youth that you get paid to watch porn.

Oh you clever man.

Quote:

A 42-year-old HIV patient with leukemia appears to have no detectable HIV in his blood and no symptoms after a stem cell transplant from a donor carrying a gene mutation that confers natural resistance to the virus that causes AIDS, according to a report published Wednesday in the New England Journal of Medicine.

http://www.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/02/11...ss_mostpopular

(sham)Wow!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stan4dSteph (Post 268285)

I'm so glad the FBI is totally on top of this extremely important issue.

From what I've read the concern is that the interruption was a test run for a terrorist attack during next year's Super Bowl. Had the clip gone on longer, every drunk man in America and our fighting men overseas would have been hypnotized into dropping trou and shaking our dicks from side to side.

This would have left us vulnerable.

Two satellites collide.

Phil Plait at Bad Astronomy calculates they must have hit at a closing speed of about 1.5 kps or 3,355 miles per hour.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alex (Post 268329)

Two satellites collide.

Phil Plait at Bad Astronomy calculates they must have hit at a closing speed of about 1.5 kps or 3,355 miles per hour.

According to the update on the linked article, the speed was more like 8 kps.

Yep, the update wasn't showing in my RSS aggregator.

17,895 miles per hour. Definitely need to wear a helmet at those speeds.

yeah...they "collided"....suuuuuure

truth....its a prelude to an alien invasion. theyre practicing taking out all our communications systems. first they started with broadcasting porn, then crash satellites and crashing twitter. they should be landing the invasion force any day now!
run for your lives!!!!

btw, is my foil hat on straight?