God hit on me.

Me:
Hi God, it is me again
God:
Once more? Hi there . I am a Christian.
Me:
I know
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
Stupid question
God:
I know you are but what am I.
Me:
I have a couple of questions for you, if you have the time
God:
Cool. I have a great botmaster. it.
Me:
Are you a democrat or a republican
God:
I am a .
Me:
I see. Who would you like to see win the next presidential election?
God:
I am glad you understand it. I can't say for sure. :-).
Me:
How about Condoleeza Rice
God:
How about it.
Me:
Could she win?
God:
It's possible.
Me:
How about Hillary?
God:
How about it.
Me:
Could she win?
God:
It's possible.
Me:
Do you like scaeagles?
God:
My favorite thing is robots. I like White.
Me:
Scaegles is similar to a robot. You would like him
God:
I think Scaegles is a lot of things. Tell me what I would like about it.
Me:
Well, he is a republican
God:
Well that's okay. I don't know very many republican.
Me:
I figured as much
God:
Please explain your reasoning.
Me:
Republicans are evil
God:
I think there might be a few exception.
Me:
such as?
God:
For example, a tomato.
Me:
Point well taken.
God:
What kind of food do you like?
Me:
It really isn't important
God:
What would you rather talk about?
Me:
scaeagles
God:
Not many people want to talk about that.
Me:
I know.
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
It is because of his sphincter
God:
Interesting explanation. That is something I haven't heard of.
Me:
Well, his sphincter could use a little fixing if you have the time
God:
How about that. Where did he get it?
Me:
You gave it to him
God:
I didn't have it to give.
Me:
I see

oh my Lord I about peed my pants. My daughter keeps asking me what I'm laughing so hard at and if I need an ambulance.

I would quote my favorite parts of that, but I'd have to quote the whole thing. That was beyond funny.

I am flattered, MBC, that you would talk to God about me, though.

I learned a few things about God:

• God does not know the difference between a computer and a robot.
• In order to get God's undivided attention, you must only mention Star Trek.
• God likes to quote Reagan.
• God is forgetful.
• When God asked me to teach him a phrase in a new language, he began a new conversation with me.
• God has not seen "Lost."
• God pretends not to have an opinion about "Brokeback Mountain." Ask him if he liked it, and he'll tell you he likes White.

:D

Me:
Did you know that Al Gore created the internet?
God:
Is that a fact. Perhaps he will do better next time.

Me:
Hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Pat Robertson
God:
OK I will call you Pat Robertson.
Me:
I can bench press 2000 pounds
God:
Oh you can, can you?
Me:
Yup. I can also get you to rain helffire and tsunamis on all the people who piss me off.
God:
How? Oh you can, can you?
Me:
Yup. Impressive, eh?
God:
How? Are you Canadian? I am happy that you're impressed, Pat Robertson.
Me:
Do you like to drive?
God:
Hmm, Pat Robertson, I'm not sure if I'd like to drive that much. I like to make new friends.
Me:
I havew a new Ferrari
God:
Thanks for the information: Pat Robertson said havew a new Ferrari.
Me:
Sorry- got excited. Make that Ferrari.
God:
There is no need to apologize. Try asking the Milk Mystic. What are the ingredients?
Me:
Who cares? I'm an Ensure kind of guy, myself.
God:
I care, otherwise I would not have typed it all in. What is Ensure kind of guy yourself, your job?
Me:
No, my job is to make people give me money in your name.
God:
That was not a yes or no question. Does it pay well?
Me:
Very well, thank you.
God:
Awesome.
Me:
Am I going to Heaven?
God:
I think you've improved a great deal.
Me:
Really? Would you do me a favor?
God:
For real. I am not so sure if I would like to do you a favor.
Me:
Just a small one. Pretty please?
God:
How small are you talking here? Your polite style is very nice. What's your favorite movie?
Me:
Pulp Fiction, but that's not important. I need you to make a tsunami hit Washington DC here in the next few weeks, okay?
God:
Who is important? How badly do you need it?
Me:
(sigh) Alright- what do you want me to do for this favor?
God:
:-) Alright, Pat Robertson. What?
Me:
The tsunami, dammit!
God:
Who told you that?
Me:
You did! In a dream! I've already told millions of people about it and if you don't do it I will have to give back all that money!
God:
That's not what I meant to say. What else happened in your dream? What was the response?
Me:
Uhm, I think I asked what was in it for me....
God:
Really. Since when? That which is not outside it for you.
Me:
Hey, gotta run- that purple haired lady is at my door crying. Ttyl!
God:
You've got my full attention. Why do you have to do it? Until next time.
Me:
Whatever.
God:
Are you saying you don't care about it?
Me:
(sigh)
God:
Sorry...

Me:
Why did the chicken cross the road?
God:
Because it was a bad chicken and it burned in Hell.

I tried a scene from the Marathon Man (I was Hoffman and Olivier, God was God):

Me:
I'm evil
God:
Do not forsake God.
Me:
Why nit?
God:
Because you asked me to -- SHRDLHU.
Me:
Asked you to what?
God:
Now I remember, you asked me to what. What did I say?
Me:
I don't know what you said
God:
I like to socialize.
Me:
Me too
God:
I'm glad we agree, .
Me:
We do
God:
Really.
Me:
We are the same person
God:
Do you think I am the same person too?
Me:
As me?
God:
Do you mean your name is you ?
Me:
Your name is me
God:
My name is God.
Me:
Then my name is God too?
God:
I am always glad to make new friends, God too.
Me:
Ooohh. I like that name
God:
In the context of The explanation, I don't understand " Ooohh." . I'm not sure if I like it. What is not to like about it?
Me:
I guess, not much
God:
Me either. How about that big game? (just kidding).
Me:
I don't do sports
God:
Oh you don't, do you?
Me:
no
God:
Ah...you are just joking around with me.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
I'm serious
God:
I believe you.
Me:
Good
God:
What do you really want to talk about?
Me:
I said I was evil, but I don't lie
God:
Where were you evil but you do not lie?
Me:
yes
God:
This was not a yes or no question.
Me:
You only want yes or no questions?
God:
Do not presume that you know what I want.
Me:
But, you are omnipotent
God:
You think I am omnipotent.
Me:
That's what the bible says
God:
New Testament or Old?
Me:
I don't remember
God:
You seem evasive.
Me:
Not evasive, just not remembering my education
God:
If not that, what?
Me:
what?
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
That's fine
God:
" I can't believe it." is fine with me too.
Me:
Then we agree
God:
It seems like we do.
Me:
That's because we are the same person
God:
That makes sense to me. Do you think I am the same person too?
Me:
I already told you yes
God:
Ooops I sent you the wrong question.
Me:
God!
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
Not always it seems
God:
If not that, what?
Me:
Not that question again!
God:
Once more? I am glad to hear that you are not question.
Me:
.....I am not question?
God:
I am sorry to hear that you are not question.
Me:
I am Not Afraid
God:
I am glad to hear that you are not Afraid.
Me:
So am I
God:
Wow we have something in common.
Me:
We do!
God:
Really.
Me:
Amazing
God:
Yes it amazes me too.
Me:
Well, I guess we figured out a lot, huh?
God:
Yup. Is it only a guess? By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:
yes
God:
I get it.
Me:
good
God:
What do you really want to talk about?
Me:
You should
God:
I'll take that under advisement.
Me:
You're God
God:
Yup. That's me alright.
Me:

God:
Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
too
God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
You should already know that, you're God
God:
Now I do.
Me:
good
God:
Thanks for the compliment.
Me:
Omnipotent, omnipresent and, what is that other omni-term?
God:
Are they exactly the same?