Lounge of Tomorrow - WTF Stories of the Week

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- - WTF Stories of the Week (http://74.208.121.111/LoT/showthread.php?t=7619)

I know, I almost snarfed some water when I read, "they use my bathroom." HAHAHAHAHAHA

Quote:

Originally Posted by BarTopDancer (Post 302757)

Balloon crashes, 6 year old boy is missing

Quote:

Originally Posted by From the Article

The boy's family, who earlier this year appeared in a reality television show about wife-swapping,

While the title of the show was undoubtedly chosen specifically to play up this confusion, describing it like that will give people unfamiliar with the show the wrong idea about this family.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Disneyphile (Post 302772)

And... welcome back to the 50's where blacks and whites can't marry each other! :eek:

I'm going to fix that guy's quotes. It looks like the paper "forgot" to include some of the stuff he said. Fortunately, I have a complete audio recording and, because I love you all so much, will happily transcribe it for you.

Quote:

"I'm not a racist. I just don't believe in mixing the races that way,"
Or any way for that matter. Come on, we can't have them Coloreds mixin' in with regular folks! That'd be like like pouring molasses in the milk.

"I have piles and piles of black friends.
Stacked up like cord-wood behind my shed.

They come to my home, I marry them, they use my bathroom. I treat them just like everyone else."
who is sub-human. Hell, I even let the Mexi-cans come over, but only on Tuesdays. I won't marry an illegal, but I do let them use my lawnmower to cut my grass. They seem to take a likin' to that kinda work. On Saturdays the Queers can come by if they fix my wife's bouffant hair-do. They're not allowed to use the bathroom cause I don't want to catch the AIDS from sittin' on the same toilet seat as them and of course I won't marry them cause that'd be a sin. Once there was a Colored Queer that wanted to come by on a Wednesday. I wasn't sure what to do! I let him come in and use the bathroom on the account of him bein' Colored, but I made sure the missus cleaned it with bleach as soon as he left!

Bardwell said he asks everyone who calls about marriage if they are a mixed race couple. If they are, he does not marry them,
Cause that'd be just plain wrong. The Bible clearly states races should not mix and that's good enough fer me!

Bardwell said he has discussed the topic with blacks and whites, along with witnessing some interracial marriages. He came to the conclusion that most of black society does not readily accept offspring of such relationships, and neither does white society, he said.
As an elected official, it's my responsibility to keep The South from becoming any more racially polluted than it is. And as a White man, I am an expert on the sensibilities of the Colored community.

"There is a problem with both groups accepting a child from such a marriage," Bardwell said. "I think those children suffer and I won't help put them through it."
Next thing ya know, Queers is gonna want to adopt children! Just think of all the queer kids they'd recruit if we let that happen. Think of the children!!!

"I try to treat everyone equally," he said.
Like property, to be bought and sold--just like the missus! We have a Traditional Marriage, just like the Good Book says.

Bardwell estimates that he has refused to marry about four couples during his career, all in the past 2 1/2 years.

May his career not reach 3 years!

One time we called the police when my younger sister went missing. Turns out she'd gone to sleep under a pile of towels in the laundry room.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alex (Post 302788)

One time we called the police when my younger sister went missing. Turns out she'd gone to sleep under a pile of towels in the laundry room.

ROTFLMAO!!

Balloon boy and family were just on Larry King:

Quote:

Falcon Heene and his family were just on Larry King Live -- where he suggested his family set up the entire "boy trapped in a flying balloon" story, saying "You guys said that we did this for the show."

His father responded by saying "Man," his mom adding "No."

The Balloon Boy story caused me to squee with delight (until I found out he was a fraud) and confess my own desire to build a personal zeppelin since it appears I'll never get a jet pack. Perhaps this is information my coworkers didn't need to know about me.

Things have gotten weirder in the balloon story. First, the kid said something about "doing it for the show" in an interview (in between throwing up twice). The father claims he doesn't know what the kid meant, and sure, a 6 year old is liable to say things like that purely stemming from some imaginary narrative in their head.

But now there's video of the balloon being released. The whole time the brothers were the only one who saw the balloon get free, but this video clearly shows that A) The dad released the balloon himself and B) he's pissed because he suddenly realizes no one's holding the tether.

My current theory - dad's pissed because he just lost his balloon. Knowing he wouldn't be able to track it down himself, he tells the kid to hide, and tells the other kids to say they saw him climbing in the balloon. Then he can call the cops and get the whole town to follow his balloon for him.

Link to the new video here

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ghoulish Delight (Post 302855)

My current theory - dad's pissed because he just lost his balloon. Knowing he wouldn't be able to track it down himself, he tells the kid to hide, and tells the other kids to say they saw him climbing in the balloon. Then he can call the cops and get the whole town to follow his balloon for him.

Link to the new video here

If you look at the size of that thing, there is just no way it could have the lifting power to get a 6-Year old off the ground. The dad (who built it) had to have know that. So, yeah, he's up to something.