When I spot a driver worth a second glance
Foot to floorboard, impact soon achieved
Here comes Bob!
I ain't subtle in my ways of making friends

Girl, this rubbled mess was caused by my neglect
Of course, I'll pay and by the way, my dear
Here comes Bob!
I ain't subtle in my ways of making friends

Sometimes I'll stoop to hitting
Two-door coupes without the frills
But that's just for casual acquaintances,
For stripped-down thrills

Your car, girl -or mine?
It doesn't matter, doesn't matter, no
But for affairs with staying power
I go after limousines

It's always nice if something big
Is acting as your go-between
And for group encounters I'll hit buses,
Mobile homes, or trains to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

It's hard to make acquaintances in our big town
Most eyes stare at nothing much at all
But here comes Bob!
I ain't subtle in my ways of making friends
Friends, acquaintances!

Instant adulation comes to some at birth
Born to queens or corporate entities
But here comes Bob!

Someday they'll put me away
I'll think back on active days
Most were worth the minor scars
Some were worth the damaged cars

And the judge will say to me:
"Bob, you've got a bad means to a worthwhile end"

Well, here comes Bob!