It depends how far I look to my left but my best weapon I suppose would be the apple peeler, corer, slicer thingy. They better watch out for me!

On second thought maybe I should just take the sliding door to my left and run.

Scotch tape dispenser and box of GE-branded Crayolas.

I'll tape them down and you color them, Steph!

Either a five pound weight or a travel document to Cleveland. Since I'm pretty sure Cleveland will probably be the epicenter of the ZA, I'll opt for the weight- I'll be sure to double-tap.

HP LaserJet 4050 and a printing calculator - could probably do some damage.

The Seven Pillars of Wisdom by T.E. Lawrence

It's got enough pages to do some serious damage.

...and don't forget, when everyone's running away from the invasion, you don't have to outrun the zombies.... just the slowest person.

which is why you hobble them with the useful item on your left