Originally Posted by Kevy Baby (Post 173607)

First off, learn how to spell diarrhea :D

Originally Posted by Kevy Baby (Post 173607)

First off, learn how to spell diarrhea :D

Seriously though, the difference in this case is that they were in line to make a purchase - he wasn't making the drink, just offering to pay for it.



I am not sure how "rude" the inquiry was. The words don't seem that offensive, but I am not sure of the approach.

Overall, I think we, as a society, are little too protective. I feel as though we should open up a little more to one another.

I have been trying to figure out to respond to Helen's OP. I keep thinking that I am disappointed (generally speaking) that a simple "no thank you" was not used here. I do think that leaving the establishment was a bit much (unless it was simply out of personal embarrassment). Without being there, I suspect that the worst thing the gentleman was engaging in not the smoothest marketing. Optimistically, I want to believe he was trying to make the world a better place.

I have been known to pay for people's meals at a restaurant. I remember Susan and I having an engaging conversation with the people at the next table one evening several years ago. They were there celebrating their anniversary. I was so touched by their story and their demeanor, that on our way out (we were seated and consequently finished before they did), we paid their dinner tab. We did it simply because we thought it would be an unexpected gesture that would (hopefully) make the world a better place.

Originally Posted by Kevy Baby (Post 173607)

First off, learn how to spell diarrhea :D

Originally Posted by Kevy Baby (Post 173608)

I wonder how many interesting conversations that you have missed out on because of this. Sure, a lot of them were probably sales pitches, but not all of them may have been.

Originally Posted by Alex (Post 173623)

Perhaps, but the benefit of cutting off all of those sales pitches far outweighs (to me) the minimal likelihood of interesting conversation. Especially since if the person isn't capable of starting things off politely I don't have any great hope for interesting conversation even if there isn't a sale pitch to come.

As for the free stuff from people thing, I generally wouldn't take it now matter how nicely offered. At best I would have told this person "maybe the people behind me would like to take you up on it." Plus, some people just can't get behind the idea of "anonymous." A few years ago Lani and I were eating at IHOP on Thanksgiving (we do go all out for the holidays) and our waitress was also working a nearby table with something like 15 people. They left and we heard her mention to another staffperson that the table hadn't left any tip (and this was a table with many rowdy kids, etc.). So when we were done we left an extra $50 with a note explaining that some people suck, happy holidays, etc. (simply so she'd know it wasn't a mistake). Then she chased us down in the parking lot to thank us. I almost wanted to ask for the money back since she insisted on ruining it by turning it into a very uncomfortable situation (for me, other people would have been pleased as punch, I'm sure).



Fully aware of the irony, I am much better at giving than at receiving. So I'd have no problem paying for the meal of that anniversary couple but if I were that anniversary couple I'd be pretty put out to find out that somebody had paid for it.

Originally Posted by Kevy Baby (Post 173608)

I wonder how many interesting conversations that you have missed out on because of this. Sure, a lot of them were probably sales pitches, but not all of them may have been.

Originally Posted by Alex (Post 173634)

I don't consider it something I am proud of but something I am aware of and generally able to live with. I am aware of the reasons (or what I think are the reasons) this trait developed in me and aware that they are both irrational and produce a level of misanthropy that is unnecessarily off putting to others.

But while I am willing to share the fact of the way I am and how that impacts I am not willing to share the personal details on why I think it has developed as that is generally irrelevant.

And of course I didn't do anything to let that waitress know I was in any way unhappy with her chasing me down to thank us. I said "you're welcome" and smiled and ah shucked as appropriate.