Why Did I Refuse This Random Act of Kindness?

[3894]

Your insights appreciated.

Setting: Starbucks, smallish college town in Wisconsin, Saturday morning, long line.

What happened: A group of college boys were in front of us. One of them turned to us, asked us what we were having.

I just smiled politely but my husband answered. The boy asked what size drinks. My husband answered.

I said, "But you don't work here, do you?"

His answer: "Not here, no. I do work at a Starbucks and I'd like to treat you two." He had some kind of a credit card he was flexing.

I said no, turned and walked out of the Starbucks. I found it deeply disturbing that a college student wanted to treat us to two coffees and a bagel. I'm sure I hurt his feelings. I have no idea why I just turned and walked out.

[BarTopDancer]

Not sure. Maybe because they were college students and in your subconscious you thought that it should be the other way around? Or perhaps somewhere in your subconscious you thought the card he had was stolen?

Trust your gut though. There was a reason you reacted the way you did.

[Gemini Cricket]

Because you didn't know what kind of strings may have been attached to this act of kindness. It was a nice gesture, but he'll be fine.
He was pimping Starbucks, nothing more. When I was working at Borders, I had coupons to give out that the company gave us managers for a free drink. It was to promote drinks in the cafe and as an apology if something didn't work out for the customer.
It's free, but it's also a plea to be a devote customer.

[wendybeth]

Are you sure he was a college boy, of did he just look young? (Maybe he was from corporate?) Anyway, I'm with BTD- trust your gut. Maybe a warning sign went off for a good reason, like perhaps it was a new card and he was being irresponsible with mommy and daddy's money, or it was stolen, etc. Could be he was legit, but something tripped your sensors...... Then again, you could just be a cranky old person.



(Kidding! I would have been a bit wary myself, but I really am a cranky old person.)

[wolfy999]

You made the right decision...at least for some reason it feels that way.

[MouseWife]

You made the right decision for you at that moment. It made you feel uncomfortable.

I would guess the young man had a gift card of sorts, probably was given it from his job. I am thinking he was trying to be nice and probably not too much into coffee. They do have gift cards and they do give them to the employees at times.

Don't feel badly. I just wonder why you left instead of just saying 'No thanks'? Did they make you feel uncomfortable? Was this a different location than you are used to? Did you feel slighted?

Again, you went with your gut and that is what you should always do. But, I just know that I have done things like that and so have my kids. I tried to give away Knotts Berry Farm tickets in front of KBF and people looked at me like I was crazy. I had received them free at the water park and didn't need all that I had. I think they did think they were being scammed.

A question: do gift cards expire in that state? Here in CA they don't so that wouldn't happen here.

[Not Afraid]

I would've said "Grande Gingerbread latte for me please". But, i wasn't there and didn't have the gut to go by.


However, now I wish a college boy would drive by my house and drop me off a decaf version of said drink this evening.

[RStar]

It's a shame we live in a time and place where we feel uncomfortable when someone wants to be kind. But I would have done the same thing. At least I would have politely said "Thank you, but I'm fine." In fact I may have said something like "I'm still trying to decide what I'm going to order, you go ahead..." just to get him to leave me alone. It does seem strange, though. Perhaps he had a large gift card, and just wanted to use it up.

[3894]

Thanks, all. It's appreciated.

[RStar]

Thanks for bringing it up, and letting us think about it a bit so we can know how to handle it if it comes our way. We hope not to hurt other people's feelings, but have to protect ourselves at the same time.