Favorite C o c k Name
 

I'm amused at how many euphamisms my daily deluge of spam comes up with for my manhood/pecker/dick/trouser snake/etc.

So what are your favorite names for masculine genetalia?

I confess I'm fond of the silliness of a "Willy" and the arcane "Man Root" but surely you've heard better - share them here.

'zapppop'

:D

Some of my favorites can be heard in this tune I have probably posted a dozen times already: Firing the surgeon general -- Listen to the mp3!

'John Thomas'



"Mr Blackitt: I could, if I wanted, have sexual intercourse with
you...

Mrs Blackitt: Oh, yes... Harry...

Mr Blackitt: And by wearing a rubber sheath over my old feller I
could ensure that when I came off... you would not be
impregnated.

Mrs Blackitt: Ooh!

Mr Blackitt: That's what being a Protestant's all about. That's
why it's the church for me. That's why it's the church for
anyone who respects the individual and the individual's right
to decide for him or herself. When Martin Luther nailed his
protest up to the church door in 1517, he may not have
realised the full significance of what he was doing. But four
hundred years later, thanks to him, my dear, I can wear
whatever I want on my John Thomas. And Protestantism doesn't
stop at the simple condom. Oh no! I can wear French Ticklers
if I want.

Mrs Blackitt: You what?"

in no particular order
 

Well, this is fun!

So is this!

And not work safe but fairly complete. (When the word Penis is in the URL twice, you know it is not work safe)

I don't know what my favorite euphamism is. I like wang, giggle over woody, feel uncomfortable with penis, use the "C" work more than I should, can't use John Thomas without his Lady Jane, LOVE the word phallis, but, basically, I coulk make just about anything into gutterspeak.

OMG I'm bookmarking the Eupahmism Generator -
understanding the perpetual husky?

I like to call mine, Tim.

Where the wanker is Kevy?


Comming up next week, as we enter the 4th grade, is potty humor. ;)

Baby Batter Spewing Meat Missle of Fun ;)

Sticky Martin

:D

:D

Well Wendybeth's posts make me have to post "Naughty Bits" as another favorite

God Damn You People!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lol!! I knew you'd say that! (O-Nut, she hates Monty Python).

:D

heat seeking moisture missile

My favorite has always been "Big Jim and the Twins".

I'm fond of the Australian "Bait and tackle."

For potty purposes, we tend to say peepee a lot here. As in, "Hey! Where's baby's peepee, Mommy?"

In the grown up world I prefer little followed by the person's name. I.E. little michael. I figure it does half the thinking, it deserves half the name. ;) (It's only little in comparison to the larger whole, btw. :P) I also like wanker.

For testicles, I prefer, family jewels, balls, nads, little friends, etc.

George Carlin had the famous "one eyed wonder worm".

don't think for a moment that YOU PEOPLE are gonna drag me down into your pecker thread.

There's Martin Lawrence's infamous "pilly packer".

C o c k.

What a great word. Something about that "k" sound is so satisfying. Much like in the word f u c k. And you get it twice with c o c k! Dick is another good one for the same reason but since you can say that anytime, it takes the fun out of it.

Interesting how the k sound makes an appearance in the most taboo word for vagina, but just at the beginning.

Rod and shaft are next on the list. Auxillary terms. Nice to change things up.

The rest make me giggle (while the former make me...)

Walt's little friend.

Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis?
Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong?
It's swell to have a stiffy,
It's devine to own a dick.
From the tiniest little tadger
To the world's biggest prick!

So three cheers for your willy or John Thomas.
Hooray for your one-eyed trousers snake.
Your piece of pork, your wife's best friend,
Your Percy or your ****.
You can wrap it up in ribbons,
You can slip it in your sock.
Don't take it out in public,
Or they will put you in the dock ...
And you won't
come
back.

thank you very much.

Why "John Thomas", anyway? And why "Johnson"? Perhaps the full name is John Thomas Johnson?

John Thomas comes from D.H. Lawrences "Lady Chatterly's Lover" - the famous and controversial - and banned - novel by one really wonderful writer. The female equivilient from the novel is Lady Jane.

As in the cake shop on Melrose called Sweet Lady Jane's?

Ew, I think.

oooh. i loved that movie.

Some might think I'm as happy as a puppy with two peters about this thread, but, the truth is I am trying very hard not to get sucked into it.

Wasn't Lady Jane a GI Joe character.... Hrmmmmmmm..... damn the toy companies for subjecting me to such smut at such a young age, I should sue.....


favs...

Peter....

and Richard, as in Richard Cranium....

hee hee

Here's one of my favorite "bad" names and a story to go along with it: :)

A friend of mine was ending a relationship with a person who wrongly fancied herself as a seductress. The jilted one kept sending skanky text messages to my friend. My favorite went something like this: "I'm so hot, I'd die for a nice big cocksickle". That STILL provides a good laugh many moons later.

Is this the equivalent of a public game of p e n i s? You know, one person whispers the word, and then somebody says it louder, and the next dude says it even louder until someone is forced to yell it out loud in the library?

I don't know why lately I so enjoy a "chubby."

Well, I know why I enjoy it. I just don't know why it's the name that has been popping into my head. Only in a comedic sexual sense though, as it seems to suit "boinking," our preferred comic sexual verb.

Generally, though, dick is a sufficient term to grunt. Dick is all I need.

Twig and berries also a fun one, but generally not apt.

Probably wanking somewhere.


Actually, my computer took a dump on me about a month ago. Just got around to getting it fixed.

Do Macs break down, too?;)

We missed you, ya freak. Welcome back! :D

I was once in a crowd of people outside a college dorm who started playing the penis game. Nothing more pointless than playing the penis game on a college campus. Who the hell cares if you yell penis on a college campus. So after everyone got predictably bored and there was a nice lull, I yelled vagina. That got the best reaction of the night.

Anyway...back on topic...

Schlong.

i know of a very cocky guy that boastingly refers to his member as the jackhammer. what a peckerhead.;)

Wanna see my little finger? :rolleyes:

Some of the girls I've been with have referred to mine as "is that it?"

ooooo - how easy to transform this into the "crowded theater game"

to bring things back on topic:

"Fire of my Loins"

I'd have more names, but I don't talk with my mouth full.

Are you sure you didn't mean cumming up next week? :p

C o c k. Dick. That's it for me. Anything else would make me giggle, and that's the last thing I wanna do when gettin' my swerve on. ;)

I'm all for a good giggle. If we can't giggle over out naughty bits, what are we going to do when someone farts in bed? And by "someone" I mean the cat, of course.

Hahaha! To be honest, after I posted, I thought, wait, I giggle bunches. :) Nobody is more immature then I esepcially when it comes to sexual innuendos. Teehee! :D

I just can't see myself personally whispering in my lover's ear, "You make me so hot. Let me taste your one eyed snake."

I'd burst out laughing. In a good way, mind you. But that would kinda ruin my mood. I so don't like the word lover, either. I used it for lack of a better term.

I'll do a field experiment and use all of these in bed. I'll start the c o c k poll and see which works the most magic. If it's anything Monty Python, I'll weep. :p ;)

I'm teasing!!!! And my late best friend used to taunt me about being absolutely clueless about all things Python.

:snap:

Oh, I call my Hubster this when I am not pleased. He knows to shorten it... See, his name is Richard.....

Parents make up all sorts of names for different things...

I have no idea where this one came from:

Dingo Dog.

Now when talking with an adult...well, we don't actually discuss the actual physical appearance of 'it'. More like the whole package. Package. LOL How is it wrapped...tight jeans, etc. Hot MF or what? Is he do worthy, etc.

Oh, that is with my gal pals, of course.

:eek: :evil:

and then of course there are all the code word/phrases for use in polite company.

For example when a woman says:

"I love a good sense of humor"

we all know this is really just code for:

"I love a really big c o c k"

But you do surf the web. Interesting.

Are you sure she doesn't really mean "you're a dick?" ;)

Reminds me of an old favorite of refering to someone as suffering from cranial-rectumitis.

Well certainly in this specific case, she is err, umm, I mean that in essence what she means is, if you take it in context that is. Oh hell.

I call my dick 'Him'.

As in:
"I whipped out my Him to take a leak earlier today."

:D

It sounds sort of religious

Funny, I started to think about what I call girly bits. (I don't call them girly bits. Ever.)

Cooch. I just like the way it sounds. One syllable, comfortable enough to say in jokes, and the filter doesn't catch it. :D

Quim will always be a favorite of mine

Genuflect before my Him!
:D

OK. I didn't need that mental picture guys! You're in BOSTON!

I have had people get on their knees before mine......

There seems to be a dirth of positive words for the female genitalia.

There's p u s s y. One must set aside one's angst over anthropomorphism, but I can see the logic-- a man who pets his pet pussycats very skillfully would also pet his girlfriend's pussycat with masterful finnesse. Ladies, find a cat man. Cat man do!

I like that word enough, but like dick it has some negative connotations. Not as negative as c u n t. I have a vague desire to reclaim that word as something positive, but I can't bring myself to it. I'm sure that Dumbledore would tell me that fear of a name promotes fear of a thing itself. Which stands to reason, since I have often thought society viewed the penis as an object of humor, and the vagina as an object of fear.

(death rattle) rosebud... (/death rattle)

:eek: Oh my! I didn't think of it in that way, Ms. Afraid!



Or did I? :D

I really didn't.

---------------------

I call bad drivers 'fu ck sticks' all the time. I guess that qualifies as a c o c k name.

Some names:

blue-veined junket pumper
blue-veiner
boner
dick
ding dong
dipstick
dong
dork
doughnut holder
firm worm
hang down
hard on
John Thomas
knob
love muscle
love stick
love truncheon
meat
meat whistle
member
ol' one-eye
one-eyed trouser snake
one-eyed wonder willie
pecker
pee-pee
percy
peter
piece of pork
pink oboe
pole
pork sword
prick
purple-headed trouser snake
pus sy plunger
rod
salty dog
schlong
skin flute
spunk stick
stiffy
swinging banger
third leg (or if you're small 'third thumb')
throbber
throbbing python of love
trouser trout
wang
wee-wee
weiner
weinie
wife's best friend
willy
woody

To many men in society (and I won't even limit it to breeders), the vagina is a scary thing. It is far too complex to understand. Since the natural instinct of the male is to procreate (find a hole to put the dumb stick in), discovering the unique attributes of this mystery place is just not on the agenda. Where's the freakin' clitoris? What's the difference between the labia majora and labia minora? AAARRGGHHH there's just too much goin' on down there!

Darwin does not allow for foreplay - it's just do the deed, deposit the baby batter and go on your merry way.

"Oh baby, you're making me hot the way you suck my wee-wee"

Hem hem. To clarify: KB was just quoting me, not talking to me.

;) :D

Now envisioning Harry having this conversation with Dumbledore. Heh. I'm sure you fanfic people would do better justice than I could...

I've reclaimed c u n t, though I also use it as an insult. It's the worst things I can call a woman...yet it's also one of the hottest words in bed....go figure.

Same is true for c o c k though.

I found out yesterterday while talking to TheaterTech that there is a Christian rock band named Him. My response was....That's what GC calls his weewee.

Oh dear.

Anyone speak Japanese?

I know they have a slang word/phrase that fits this thread. It's english equivilant would be "purple katana".

Okay, this is too much imagery. TheatreTech, Christian rock bands, and euphemisms for penis. I feel faint. (fans self furiously)

:NA rushes in some smelling salts for the Commodore:

You took the post right out of my mouth. I couldn't agree more. :)

I bashfully :blush: admit that when in relationships, I've had to teach polite & considerate boyfriends that it's more then allowed and okay to use that word. It's not disrespectful in my handbook. The nastier and naughtier, the hotter! :evil:

Where ARE those smelling salts?!?

Three pages and no one has used "Schvonschouker?"


I will forgive Not Afraid, as she is the only person on earth who can't quote Young Frankenstein, but what's up with everyone else?



Also, notice the mysongenistic intentions of the human attributes we hurl at people with genital-based epithets: Hence, "You dick!" generally means inconsiderate or stupid, while "You <unt!" denotes coniving and mean and downright freaking evil.

Schvanschtucker. There, I said it.
As in, "Why, he must have an enormous schvanschtucker!" "That goes without saying..."

I've come to enjoy p*ssy much more since the Brazilian Girls...

Does that mean marijuana is next?

Are you sure about that?!? :evil:

That made my day! lol. :D
Yep. I don't give 'em, I get 'em. ;)

Then again... there are those hazy moments after too much red wine.
:evil:

'Him' is a Christian group?

Damn. And 'He' is muy hot. Wonder if his 'Him' is muy bueno? 'His' happy trail always leads me to wonder....

I sure hope I am thinking the same dude......

For some reason, this thread has me thinking of a song by the Cramps, 'Can Your P U S S Y Do The Dog?"

My _____ can do the dog, if your p u s s y can.

I'm missing a lyric here. Help me somebody.

Here kitty kitty. You better move along. Cuz the big cats walk at the break of dawn. Now doggonnit baby. Oohh I said doggone...Hey can your pussy do the dog? Can your pussy do the dog? Can your pussy do the (houndog, bulldog, poodlecut) baby? Can your pussy do the dog? This whole mess useless now as a whistle on a plow. If your pussy can't do the dog. I'm the king of the jungle. They call me tiger man. I'm gonna do the bird. If I can, if I can. My bird can do the dog. If your pussy can? Come on and wag that tail. Baby you can't fail. If'n your pussy can't do the dog. Hey hey hey...Hully hully gully...No pedigree from France will get you in the dance. Lessin your pussy can do the dog. Come on and wag that tail baby you can't fail. If'n your pussy can do the dog. Cha cha cha!

Why thank you! I will sleep well tonight dreaming of pussys and dogs and doing it. ;)