Does that make it okay?
 

So our company allowed (and encouraged) a halloween celebration on Tuesday. It was kind of a big deal because it's the first time in like a decade, when, as a small company, they used to be a lot loser and less formal. Overall, it was a lot of fun, though filled with the usual lame office pleasantries that made me want to hurl.

But there was one costume...

So 10 years ago, one guy came dressed as a cheerleader. Haha. So this time, he came dressed as "the cheerleader 10 years later."

This costume was NOT appropriate for work. I mean, I don't care about corss dressing. I can deal with a man's hairy legs in white fishnets. But this costume had huge, exposed, saggy fake boobs hanging bellow a cutoff shirt. And the skirt was so short that I had the pleasure of an unobstructed vies of this guy's red panties trying desparately to crawl up his asshole.

NOT work appropriate.

But he got away with it. Not only did he get away with it, he was awarded a prize (for "Scariest Costume")!

It takes quite a bit to offend me, but damn. I was scratching me head as to how he was given a pass. I figured it must just be that he's been with the company so long, but it still seemed odd.

Then I heard a comment that raised an eyebrow. "That was an interesting costume. But with...the way he is...I guess he can get away with it." Hmmm.

My suspscion was confirmed later when someone else made the comment, "Well, I guess since he's gay it's okay."

What? WHAT?! Since when does being gay make it okay to wear inappropriate clothing to work, Halloween or not? I guarantee had any straight guy or any female worn that exact costume, they'd have been reprimanded before they got through the front door. But, oh, he's gay, so that's okay?

Sorry, but your sexual orientation doesn't change the appropriateness of having your panty-wedged ass hanging out.

No it doesn't- but it seems to make some people more afraid of offending them. Afraid that if they had said something he might have pulled that card and claimed to be harassed and singled out because he is gay.

Which he may not have done? Or maybe he has before?

Doesn't every office need a self-appointed jester? Doesn't it have to be the gay guy? Isn't the alternative the receptionist in the rainbow afro?

I'm with Miss Manners that the personal and the professional bleed into each other too often. The responsible alternative, however, is the Sixties era office party where nobody dressed up but, if the movies are to be believed, people still went crazy. These, however, were fueled by staggering amounts of alcohol that allowed people to forget what had occurred the previous day, but that no liability conscious employer today would dare provide.

Actually, we have a Christmas party every year (in a hotel banquet hall, not the office) with a hosted bar. Good times.

Open bar?

We used to have open bars- no more- now we get a couple of drink tickets. That's all folks!

I think appropriateness is important in the workplace and whatever your sexual orientation you should stick to the rules. But, what were the rules? Were there any spelled out for everyone?

Also, keep in mind that the comments you heard were not his. He was not saying that he got away with it because he was gay, other people were saying that.

I'm also thinking that the costume was pretty clever and if you were there 10 years ago, it might have been funnier.

Off topic- can I move into your avatar GC- cause that looks divine!

There were specific guidelines laid out for the costumes...but general "work appropriate" was assumed. And while the "work appropriate" line gets blurred when costumes are involved, this went well beyond the blur.

No, he didn't say it, but he's not the one who decides whether he "gets away with it." It's his superiors. And I was baffled until I heard those comments and suddenly the general attitude I saw towards him by others who knew him better than I made sense and it became painfully obvious that it was only because he was openly gay that he was not reprimanded for wearing something well beyond the limits of appropriatemess.

It was, but it could have been done more tactfully (did the sagging boobs HAVE to be completely bare, or could they have been under a shirt? Did his bare ass cheeks have to be exposed, or would a slightly longer skirt that kept him covered worked?). I'm all for funny, heck, I'm all for slightly inappropriate. But this crossed a line that no one else would have been allowed to even come close to and that kinda irked me.

Not to mention that several employees had their young children present.

Speaking of which, in a more light-hearted vein of outrage, I wanted to call shenanigans on one of the costume contest winners. Including a 2 month old baby dressed as a lobster (while mom was dressed as a chef with a large soup pot) in your costume should be banned. Illegal foreign substance. Like anyone stood a chance of winning against a feaking baby in a lobster costume! Cheater. :p

Inappropriate and he should have been told to go home and change.

I think valid points have been said.

He didn't say he got away with it because he is gay. But, did they give him a free pass because he is? That is a bit offensive to me, if I were him. Hello, I'm gay, not mental. Gay doesn't mean without a conscience or values, etc. That I would find insulting.

It is funny, the idea of ten years later. But, I agree, it could have been done with more class. I've actually seen this costume, somewhere. The boobs should have been inside the shirt and the booty as well. I am sure the women were offended.

Ten years isn't acutually that long. I'd have to say about 50 years would bring the body to that state. Or more. Or some heavy partying. :evil:

Being gay has absolutely NOTHING to do with what is work appropriate or what is not. BUT, if your company did not set down rules as to appropriate attire for costumes beforehand, then it seems he just took the bit and ran with it.

Too bad they didn't actually boil the baby in real life...now that would have been a great costume.

Costumes were to be "work appropriate". Specific costume rules were not laid out, but I can guarantee that our general work attire guidelines expressly forbid "visible thong-ass".

I don't bear any ill will towards him for getting away with it (though I question his judgement for deciding to do it in the first place). What irks me is that people seemed to have decided to give him a pass due to his sexuality.

And, that is actually a form of discrimination.

I really wanted to give GD mojo for that...but the evil machine won't let me for some reason.

Poor judgement and not work appropriate. I find it very sad he was given a pass go based on the comments you heard. Sexuality does not matter in this case one little bit. As NA pointed out, that is a form of reverse discrimination and opens up a hornets nest to me which I won't start commenting about here ;)

Anyway, I do love the kid as the lobster, that's a riot. :snap:

I'm telling you, babies get away with murder!

So, now that you know there are no rules about "work appropriate" what will you be next Halloween?

What kind of sick twisted male would dress up in women's clothing for Halloween?!?

Also, we are making the assumption that he was given a pass because he's gay when, as I understand it, it was simply office scuttlebutt that he is (a) gay, and (b) getting away with it because of that.

Was it his (your) superiors who made that overheard, off-hand comment ... or merely co-workers?



(and thank god this thread wasn't around to give Kevy any ideas before the Halloween party.)

Would it really have made that much of a difference?

My works holloween party was off the hook debauchery and skin despite the new more corperate ownership...

I am sorry that you have to work under such a prudish yet discrimatoraly purient permisive work enviroment. This double standard is an outrage of the first order.

Perhaps this carefree over the top homosexsual should be made an example of and drug out into the street and fired on the spot to make things right! At the very least HR must get involved and severly repremand this fellow untill he is cowered into submission after all he didn't bring enough thongs for the whole party now did he!

Was the guy's costume this bad?

Yes

That's soooo tame we had one guy go as a giant vagina with teeth in it.

He told everyone he was his Ex Girlfreind.

(a) He's gay. That part wasn't rumor. I was unaware of the fact beforehand simply because I don't really know the guy. But the people who told me do know him and it's not a "Psst, I heard he's gay." He's openly gay.

(b) Do I know for sure? No. Was it superiors that I overheard? No. But, judging from what was said directly to me plus the various things I overheard through the day, I got a very clear impression that people who otherwise would have made a complaint (nothing ever happens unless someone complains) hestiated due to him being gay.

That begs the question of why I didn't complain. Fact is, I wouldn't complain either way, I'm just not the file-a-complaint type. Generally, it doesn't offend me particularly much, and my general feeling is that if it's something that's way over the line, someone else will do the complaining for me. Plus, compared to a lot of people, I'm very much the new comer whereas this guy's been with the company almost since it started. I know that shouldn't make a difference, but in reality it does. And the people I overheard throughout the day saying, "Gosh, that could be offensive, but..." were the people who usually do the complaining around here.

So I was surprised when no one made a big deal out of it. I mean hell, our manager had to give us a dress code reminder the day after someone ratted on one of my male coworkers for wearing shorts.

Seeing as how my place of work said "not a drop of fake blood, and no dark makeup" I feel rather jealous of the freedom of GD's workplace. Such is the life of a public desk jockey. Someone actually said "we don't want to scare the kids!" :rolleyes:

I really don't care about hairy-ass-revealing costumes and fake boobs showing. I thought it was hilarious when GD told me about it. But I didn't see it so I can't judge, I guess....though I tend to dig over-the-top Halloween freakiness.

Years ago, I went to work as a wrist slasher. Good times.