You robbed us in THAT?!
 

So we all know that the world has run out of band names (as signaled by Chumbawumba and Hooba Stank). And of course, movie titles are scraping the dregs as we speak.

Now we are apparently in a critical shortage of names for serial criminals.

I bring you....


The Ugly Plaid Bandit

It wasn't even some asinine reporter who gave him that name. It was the Eff-Bee-EYE!

Can somebody PLEASE come up with names that don't end in freaking BANDIT??? I know names help the public remember the criminals blah blah blah, but seriously, if every one of them is called "The ____ Bandit", how freaking memorable is that?

Back in the good ol' days we had good names, like The Night Stalker. Now THERE'S a name to strike fear in the hearts of good citizens everywhere.

The plaid isn't that bad, either.

El Bandido De Plaid

The Plaid Clad Robbing Lad?

Does the bandit community have a mag akin to Glamor with fashion do's and Don'ts?

It occurs to me, perhaps he is not the (Ugly Plaid) Bandit, but instead the Ugly (Plaid Bandit).

Regardless of word and/or emphasis placement... that's still a silly name to have been pumped out by the eff bee eye.

The wet bandit?

The sticky bandit?

Sorry, I just saw Home Alone 2.....

Plaidito Bandito?;)