3 lines or less
 

Inspired by an excellent McSweeney's piece, I thought I'd come up with some movies, in three lines or less.

Harold and Maude:

HAROLD
I love the shock of pretending to commit suicide. Oh, death, I yearn for you.

MAUDE
No! Live! Greet each morning with a breath of fire! Suicide isn't the answer... unless you're 80.

HAROLD
Maude....?


Mary Poppins

MR. BANKS
We rather need someone to take care of our ill-behaved moppets.

MARY
Indeed - but only until you have a mental breakdown and stumble out of the bank on a wooden leg named Smith. Spit-spot.

BERT
'Alo, 'alo! I 'ave a 'orrible cockney accen'... buy a kite, mister?


When Harry Met Sally

SALLY
I hate you, Harry.

HARRY
You love me, Sally.

SALLY
You're right, you're right. I know you're right.



... now, you!

Blazing Saddles

GABBY JOHNSON
The sheriff's a <GONG>

LILI VON SHTUPP
Oh. It's twue. It's twue. It's twue, it's twue!

SHERIFF BART
All right, you caught me. Speaking the plain truth is getting pretty damn dull around here.

The Wizard of Oz:

DOROTHY:
I hate Kansas!

WICKED WITCH OF THE WEST:
I'm gonna cap yo a$s for steain' my sista's pimp kicks.

DOROTHY:
I love Kansas!

Grease

SANDY
I love you Danny, why don't you ditch your friends and clean up your act for me.

DANNY
I'd really rather keep acting like a jerk so I don't look like a pansy....but you're right, love is worth it!

SANDY
Nevermind, you're right. Irresponsible slutiness, here I come!


2001: A Space Odyssey

DAVE
Hal, I know our mission to figure out this monolith thing's important and all, but you're priorities are all screwed up. We're going to have to disable you.

HAL
Just what do you think you're doing Dave?

BIZARRE SPACE BABY
???????????????????????

The Little Mermaid

ARIEL:
I want to be human.

URSULA:
Here are two legs.

ARIEL:
I got my man and all I had to do was change my species!

Purple Rain:

PRINCE:
I want to be a star.

PRINCE:
Apollonia, take of your clothes and jump into a freezing lake, let me smack you in the face but love me for it because I think I'm a star now.

APOLLONIA:
What's a little split lip? I love my 5'2" mascara'd Adonis.

Pretty Woman

Vivan: With my beautiful looks, street smarts and automotive knowledge, I could be a Hollywood starlet OR a mechanic, but instead I choose to be a hooker.

Edward: An expensive wardrobe and opera will transform you into my ideal woman, and in exchange for rescuing you from a life of prostitution, I only ask that you teach me how to walk on grass in my bare feet.

Vivian: Deal.

Breakfast at Tiffany's

MR. YUNIOSHI
Herro, I have a tellible Japanese accent. Miss Gorightry, keep that racket down!

HOLLY
Well a lady has to do something to find a fellow who isn't a super-rat. And preferably one who's rich.

PAUL
I think I like you more as a gay icon, but this is Hollywood, so kiss me, baby, and hand me that cat.

Citizen Kane

KANE
Rosebud...

FILM GEEKS
If a media magnate calls for his toboggan on his deathbed, and no one is around to hear it, is the rest of the plot sound?

This one's my favorite. ;)