3 lines or less

LSPoorEeyorick · 06-25-2008, 04:11 PM

Inspired by an excellent McSweeney's piece, I thought I'd come up with some movies, in three lines or less.

Harold and Maude:

HAROLD
I love the shock of pretending to commit suicide. Oh, death, I yearn for you.

MAUDE
No! Live! Greet each morning with a breath of fire! Suicide isn't the answer... unless you're 80.

HAROLD
Maude....?

Mary Poppins

MR. BANKS
We rather need someone to take care of our ill-behaved moppets.

MARY
Indeed - but only until you have a mental breakdown and stumble out of the bank on a wooden leg named Smith. Spit-spot.

BERT
'Alo, 'alo! I 'ave a 'orrible cockney accen'... buy a kite, mister?

When Harry Met Sally

SALLY
I hate you, Harry.

HARRY
You love me, Sally.

SALLY
You're right, you're right. I know you're right.

... now, you!

Kevy Baby · 06-25-2008, 04:21 PM

Blazing Saddles

GABBY JOHNSON
The sheriff's a <GONG>

LILI VON SHTUPP
Oh. It's twue. It's twue. It's twue, it's twue!

SHERIFF BART
All right, you caught me. Speaking the plain truth is getting pretty damn dull around here.

Gemini Cricket · 06-25-2008, 04:32 PM

The Wizard of Oz:

DOROTHY:
I hate Kansas!

WICKED WITCH OF THE WEST:
I'm gonna cap yo a$s for steain' my sista's pimp kicks.

DOROTHY:
I love Kansas!

Ghoulish Delight · 06-25-2008, 04:32 PM

Grease

SANDY
I love you Danny, why don't you ditch your friends and clean up your act for me.

DANNY
I'd really rather keep acting like a jerk so I don't look like a pansy....but you're right, love is worth it!

SANDY
Nevermind, you're right. Irresponsible slutiness, here I come!

2001: A Space Odyssey

DAVE
Hal, I know our mission to figure out this monolith thing's important and all, but you're priorities are all screwed up. We're going to have to disable you.

HAL
Just what do you think you're doing Dave?

BIZARRE SPACE BABY
???????????????????????

Gemini Cricket · 06-25-2008, 04:34 PM

The Little Mermaid

ARIEL:
I want to be human.

URSULA:
Here are two legs.

ARIEL:
I got my man and all I had to do was change my species!

Gemini Cricket · 06-25-2008, 04:43 PM

Purple Rain:

PRINCE:
I want to be a star.

PRINCE:
Apollonia, take of your clothes and jump into a freezing lake, let me smack you in the face but love me for it because I think I'm a star now.

APOLLONIA:
What's a little split lip? I love my 5'2" mascara'd Adonis.

Eliza Hodgkins 1812 · 06-25-2008, 04:46 PM

Pretty Woman

Vivan: With my beautiful looks, street smarts and automotive knowledge, I could be a Hollywood starlet OR a mechanic, but instead I choose to be a hooker.

Edward: An expensive wardrobe and opera will transform you into my ideal woman, and in exchange for rescuing you from a life of prostitution, I only ask that you teach me how to walk on grass in my bare feet.

Vivian: Deal.

LSPoorEeyorick · 06-25-2008, 04:48 PM

Breakfast at Tiffany's

MR. YUNIOSHI
Herro, I have a tellible Japanese accent. Miss Gorightry, keep that racket down!

HOLLY
Well a lady has to do something to find a fellow who isn't a super-rat. And preferably one who's rich.

PAUL
I think I like you more as a gay icon, but this is Hollywood, so kiss me, baby, and hand me that cat.

Eliza Hodgkins 1812 · 06-25-2008, 05:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LSPoorEeyorick

Breakfast at Tiffany's

MR. YUNIOSHI
Herro, I have a tellible Japanese accent. Miss Gorightry, keep that racket down!

HOLLY
Well a lady has to do something to find a fellow who isn't a super-rat. And preferably one who's rich.

PAUL
I think I like you more as a gay icon, but this is Hollywood, so kiss me, baby, and hand me that cat.

This one's my favorite.

Gemini Cricket · 06-25-2008, 05:16 PM

Do the Right Thing:

AFRICAN AMERICANS:
You all are racist.

ITALIAN AMERICANS:
You all are racist.

2008 AUDIENCE OF ANY RACE:
We're glad no one dresses like that any more.

-------------------------

The Star Wars Trilogy in 3 lines:

A New Hope:

DARTH VADER:
I am a one big, bad, mutha fukka!

Empire Strikes Back:

DARTH VADER:
You got pwned! I'm your father, Luke!

Return of the Jedi:

DARTH VADER:
Okay, fine, I'm white like you. For the funeral, just put the mask back on, okay? Golly!

-----------------------------

Ratatouille:

REMY:
I don't want to be just a filthy rat. I want to be a chef!

GUSTEAU:
I am a psychotic hallucination you're having, Remy, of a man who knocked up his girl and didn't even know it. But I say, anyone, even a filthy germ riddled rat, can cook!

ANTON EGO:
Yes, anyone can cook. Even a rat. But no sane French person will buy that, so after your restaurant closes, I shall make money off of you as an investor and still no one will know you exist.

06-25-2008, 04:11 PM	#1
LSPoorEeyorick scribblin' Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: in the moment Posts: 3,872	3 lines or less Inspired by an excellent McSweeney's piece, I thought I'd come up with some movies, in three lines or less. Harold and Maude: HAROLD I love the shock of pretending to commit suicide. Oh, death, I yearn for you. MAUDE No! Live! Greet each morning with a breath of fire! Suicide isn't the answer... unless you're 80. HAROLD Maude....? Mary Poppins MR. BANKS We rather need someone to take care of our ill-behaved moppets. MARY Indeed - but only until you have a mental breakdown and stumble out of the bank on a wooden leg named Smith. Spit-spot. BERT 'Alo, 'alo! I 'ave a 'orrible cockney accen'... buy a kite, mister? When Harry Met Sally SALLY I hate you, Harry. HARRY You love me, Sally. SALLY You're right, you're right. I know you're right. ... now, you!
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06-25-2008, 04:21 PM	#2
Kevy Baby Chowder Head Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Yes Posts: 18,500	Blazing Saddles GABBY JOHNSON The sheriff's a <GONG> LILI VON SHTUPP Oh. It's twue. It's twue. It's twue, it's twue! SHERIFF BART All right, you caught me. Speaking the plain truth is getting pretty damn dull around here. __________________ The thing about quotes on the internet is that you cannot verify their validity. - Abraham Lincoln
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06-25-2008, 04:32 PM	#3
Gemini Cricket ... Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 13,244	The Wizard of Oz: DOROTHY: I hate Kansas! WICKED WITCH OF THE WEST: I'm gonna cap yo a$s for steain' my sista's pimp kicks. DOROTHY: I love Kansas!
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06-25-2008, 04:32 PM	#4
Ghoulish Delight I Floop the Pig Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Alternative Swankstyle Posts: 19,348	Grease SANDY I love you Danny, why don't you ditch your friends and clean up your act for me. DANNY I'd really rather keep acting like a jerk so I don't look like a pansy....but you're right, love is worth it! SANDY Nevermind, you're right. Irresponsible slutiness, here I come! 2001: A Space Odyssey DAVE Hal, I know our mission to figure out this monolith thing's important and all, but you're priorities are all screwed up. We're going to have to disable you. HAL Just what do you think you're doing Dave? BIZARRE SPACE BABY ??????????????????????? __________________ 'He who receives an idea from me, receives instruction himself without lessening mine; as he who lights his taper at mine, receives light without darkening me.' -TJ
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06-25-2008, 04:34 PM	#5
Gemini Cricket ... Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 13,244	The Little Mermaid ARIEL: I want to be human. URSULA: Here are two legs. ARIEL: I got my man and all I had to do was change my species!
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06-25-2008, 04:43 PM	#6
Gemini Cricket ... Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 13,244	Purple Rain: PRINCE: I want to be a star. PRINCE: Apollonia, take of your clothes and jump into a freezing lake, let me smack you in the face but love me for it because I think I'm a star now. APOLLONIA: What's a little split lip? I love my 5'2" mascara'd Adonis.
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06-25-2008, 04:46 PM	#7
Eliza Hodgkins 1812 Sputnik Sweetheart Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Long Beach Posts: 2,685	Pretty Woman Vivan: With my beautiful looks, street smarts and automotive knowledge, I could be a Hollywood starlet OR a mechanic, but instead I choose to be a hooker. Edward: An expensive wardrobe and opera will transform you into my ideal woman, and in exchange for rescuing you from a life of prostitution, I only ask that you teach me how to walk on grass in my bare feet. Vivian: Deal.
	Submit to Quotes

06-25-2008, 04:48 PM	#8
LSPoorEeyorick scribblin' Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: in the moment Posts: 3,872	Breakfast at Tiffany's MR. YUNIOSHI Herro, I have a tellible Japanese accent. Miss Gorightry, keep that racket down! HOLLY Well a lady has to do something to find a fellow who isn't a super-rat. And preferably one who's rich. PAUL I think I like you more as a gay icon, but this is Hollywood, so kiss me, baby, and hand me that cat.
	Submit to Quotes

06-25-2008, 05:16 PM	#10
Gemini Cricket ... Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 13,244	Do the Right Thing: AFRICAN AMERICANS: You all are racist. ITALIAN AMERICANS: You all are racist. 2008 AUDIENCE OF ANY RACE: We're glad no one dresses like that any more. ------------------------- The Star Wars Trilogy in 3 lines: A New Hope: DARTH VADER: I am a one big, bad, mutha fukka! Empire Strikes Back: DARTH VADER: You got pwned! I'm your father, Luke! Return of the Jedi: DARTH VADER: Okay, fine, I'm white like you. For the funeral, just put the mask back on, okay? Golly! ----------------------------- Ratatouille: REMY: I don't want to be just a filthy rat. I want to be a chef! GUSTEAU: I am a psychotic hallucination you're having, Remy, of a man who knocked up his girl and didn't even know it. But I say, anyone, even a filthy germ riddled rat, can cook! ANTON EGO: Yes, anyone can cook. Even a rat. But no sane French person will buy that, so after your restaurant closes, I shall make money off of you as an investor and still no one will know you exist.
	Submit to Quotes