I've run the gauntlet on The Strip without ever getting so much as a wiggle.  

  If amusement park rides regularly killed more people then I might be able to actually find them exciting.  

  No, I don't have any tribal tats. Tats are dirty and bespoil gods beautiful creation.  

  ... when Bono first appeared on screen, for about a second and a half I thought it was Robin Williams.  

  Yay! The princess dies at the end!  

  I am similarly agnostic about whether there are invisible phase-shifted evil robots in my bedroom closet just waiting for me to go to sleep tonight so that they could kill me.  

  A very happy unhate day to you all.  

  Yes, I did just post three times in a row. I suck at the internets.  

  I said cake. There are only two kinds of cake. Everything else is just a pretender to the title.  

  I'll eventually see the details. Unless they're only shown on Nancy Grace. Then I'll just have to live in ignorance.  

  If I am in international waters on a pleasure cruise I expect to be offered gambling, prostitution, otherwise illicit drugs, and the meat of endangered animals.  

  I disagree. At the risk of entering into an teleologically ontological discussion of the merits and disingenuations of said conundrum, I would have to suggest that even if the form of impact were less than injurious the intent and willingness (or perhaps negligence and inattention) that lead to such impact would carry through the day on still totally sucking.

One might respond vis-a-vis the argument from nerfness in which one is not only struck by an arrow in such a way as no harm is caused but also with an arrow of such material that no harm is possible. In a situation of such extremity it would continue to totally suck in that one is such an oaf as to be unable to avoid impact with said trifle.

There also exists, in a post-Freudian deconstructionist interpretation of the problem statement, the theory that the arrow in question is not, per se, actually an arrow but instead a penis. In which case it could be argued that while "totally suck" might not actually happen, it is without doubt true that some person involved in the impact scenario will wish it did.  

  If you're child is that fragile that a few second of squeak and bonk is harmful then you probably should just hit them in the head with a rock right now.  

  ...my fellow homosexual males...  

  But I don't never cared for horses either so I know I'm not a girl.  

  If I have to be stuck on a desert island with one composer it is going to be an attractive woman composer. Or one with an airplane.  

  I successfully warded off Easter here. According to a commercial that just played on the radio it isn't Easter without a ham on the table.

I wasn't aware that Jesus had taken such firm measure to exclude Jews and Muslims from the day. He's apparently quite the ball buster.

I guess vegan Christians are just collateral damage (besides, they probably smell funny and Jesus probably has a really sensitive sense of smell).  

  And conversely if you cower because of the couch color but not the fact that you're talking to one of four or so people in the world who can single handedly destroy the world then priorities may be out of whack.  

  A half dozen lobsters died so that I could eat their hands in a cheesy sauce.  

  I use the quotes list to remind my self what a brilliant person I am.  

  Relax, other than life sustaining medications, there is nothing terribly vital to be forgotten.  

  Bless you young mother. I hope you'll always be as supportive to your little boy when he strays from gender norms, even if proclaiming it loudly in a store for all to hear, and not try to force him back in that box.  

  Based on CPs diagnosis I was able to get a prescription for heroin this morning.  

  ...it also felt like something that might get old quick. But I'll ride it until it does.  

  I can far outpoop any party...