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Originally Posted by Moonliner
Except that young kids (pre-teen and younger) crave the praise. Withholding that in favor of responses like "What did you find most challenging" equates in their mind to rejection. I still argue praise for effort. At age two a scribbled crayon mess is cause for praise, age four not so much.
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No, kids crave their parents acceptance. When that acceptance has been translated into pleasure or disapproval over individual actions, then that is when kids begin to crave the praise.
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Originally Posted by Nephythys
What if they do not have a natual desire to learn and succeed?
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Everyone is born with a natural desire to learn and succeed. It is often driven out of them by the conditional acceptance of those around them. With support and unconditional love, I believe every child will do their best in everything they want to do.
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Originally Posted by GD
I'm just against the "You're a winner no matter what!" mantra.
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Why does it have to be about winning or losing? My question is not, should one person win musical chairs or should everyone, my question is why musical chairs? Wouldn't it be a more fun game, if instead of everyone trying to snatch a chair and one person being sent away, all the kids try to fit into the remaining chairs? Then in the end you have a whole group of giggling kids and not five sad kids and one happy kid (or five kids that know they got a booby prize and one kid that resents not being the real winner).
The lesson between the two games is different as well. In the fun version kids work as a team to solve a problem and reach a goal. In the standard version kids focus on defeating their opponent. I stipulate that the former is a more valuable skill to learn. I don't know anyone that needs to defeat people on a regular basis. Almost everyone I know has to work with others to reach common goals. Why are we drilling competition and the need to "win" into kids at such a young age? What's the point of that? I don't see it as anything but destructive.