Birthday Haikus For You
Foolish Dave Matthews
Knows not what he does not have
If so, he'd love you.
Brad in a nutshell
Hotness of Jake Gyllenhaal
Dave Sedaris' wit
Happy Birthday, sweetie! I hope you have the best day! In honor of your special day, I'm going to shoot my bra at Simon LeBon tonight, with your phone number written on it. That's how much I adore you.
Love,
Claire
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Miles: It tastes like the back of a f*ing L.A. school bus. Now they probably didn't de-stem, hoping for some semblance of concentration, crushed it up with leaves and mice, and then wound up with this rancid tar and turpentine bull****. F*in' Raid.
Jack: Tastes pretty good to me.