[Claire]

I wonder if I should tell the story of the time I had to go to the ER in the middle of the night and give a pee sample after consuming my weight in asparagus earlier in the day......

I wonder if you'd understand the extreme embarrassment I felt.

I wonder if you can imagine the grossocity of the smells emanating from that little cup.

I wonder if you can picture the look of complete disgust and dismay on the nurses face when I handed her my cup of steaming asparagus piss.

I wonder why I even had to piss in a cup when it was my back that was killing me.

I wonder who the hell Tony is and where he went. And now I, too, wonder when he'll be back from wherever he is.

I wonder if SacTown got any last night? I know I did.

I wonder is Simon LeBon is right now thinking about me and my self-perceived hotness and my drunken dancing and dialing random people so they could listen to me scream, "OHMYGOD!!! HE'SSOF*CKINGHOTILOVEHIMSOMUCHILOVETHISSONGIT'SMYF AVORITE!!!!CANYOUHEAR IT?"