|
1. Beautifully written.
2. I do not envy you.
3. Plant a large cactus outside your window, and post a sign that reads BEWARE of the ALLIGATOR.
4. Set inventive traps for him not unlike those like found in the queue for Indiana Jones, complete with spears and human skulls.
5. Keep a gallon jug of urine handy to empty out the window on him for next time.
6. Supersoaker. See above.
7. Cover the area with salt. It works on snails.
8. Airhorn, as suggested by Mimi.
9. Using a retractable mechanical claw, steal his discman and replace it with a remote controlled head-shaped vice.
10. Leave a table of arsenic-laced bottles of cheap liquor with a sign that says: HOMELESS SPECIAL! ALL YOU CAN DRINK!
|