To the Homeless Man This Concerns

Boss Radio · 09-05-2007, 01:37 AM

1. Beautifully written.
2. I do not envy you.
3. Plant a large cactus outside your window, and post a sign that reads BEWARE of the ALLIGATOR.
4. Set inventive traps for him not unlike those like found in the queue for Indiana Jones, complete with spears and human skulls.
5. Keep a gallon jug of urine handy to empty out the window on him for next time.
6. Supersoaker. See above.
7. Cover the area with salt. It works on snails.
8. Airhorn, as suggested by Mimi.
9. Using a retractable mechanical claw, steal his discman and replace it with a remote controlled head-shaped vice.
10. Leave a table of arsenic-laced bottles of cheap liquor with a sign that says: HOMELESS SPECIAL! ALL YOU CAN DRINK!

SacTown Chronic · 09-05-2007, 02:05 PM

One time I was talking to a homeless man outside of a Greyhound bus station when he suddenly put a hand down the front of his pants, removed it, and in a move I'm sure he thought was discreet, slowly brought his hand to his face and sniffed his fingers. I remember thinking, "Dude, you don't need to do all that...I can smell your balls from here".

09-05-2007, 01:37 AM	#1
Boss Radio The Littlest Hobo Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Hobo Junction Posts: 393	1. Beautifully written. 2. I do not envy you. 3. Plant a large cactus outside your window, and post a sign that reads BEWARE of the ALLIGATOR. 4. Set inventive traps for him not unlike those like found in the queue for Indiana Jones, complete with spears and human skulls. 5. Keep a gallon jug of urine handy to empty out the window on him for next time. 6. Supersoaker. See above. 7. Cover the area with salt. It works on snails. 8. Airhorn, as suggested by Mimi. 9. Using a retractable mechanical claw, steal his discman and replace it with a remote controlled head-shaped vice. 10. Leave a table of arsenic-laced bottles of cheap liquor with a sign that says: HOMELESS SPECIAL! ALL YOU CAN DRINK!
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09-05-2007, 02:05 PM	#2
SacTown Chronic the myth of the dream Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 2,217	One time I was talking to a homeless man outside of a Greyhound bus station when he suddenly put a hand down the front of his pants, removed it, and in a move I'm sure he thought was discreet, slowly brought his hand to his face and sniffed his fingers. I remember thinking, "Dude, you don't need to do all that...I can smell your balls from here".
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