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Dear Stoat,
I'm surprised you haven't filed your swim plan with the LoT. How else are we to ensure your safe arrival in Kings Canyon if you don't share your plan?
We wouldn't want you to bump into other swimmers out there on your journey--or worse, smack someone in the head with your hot frying pan full of bacon (would you want to be hit with another swimmer's bacon grease?). Don't forget that there are additional dangers that you need to be aware of: sea monsters, mermaids, pirates, and all those silly boats.
Please file your swim plan as soon as possible.
Thank you,
The LoT STC (Swim Traffic Control)
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