Quote:
Originally Posted by Gemini Cricket
This is going to sound rough. I absolutely adore my friends and family members who spoke out against Prop 8. I appreciate the anger and grief you feel from the day Prop 8 came on the ballot to today. But part of me is frustrated because I have been feeling that same anger and grief now everyday for the past 10 years that I have been a gay activist and everyday since I came out of the closet 15 years ago. So I say to you, 'Welcome to the club. You should be hurt and angry. Thank you for joining in. Don't just tell me about how you're mad, show me that you're going to do something about it. We need your help.'
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This is the part I'm feeling guilt over. By nature I am not a demonstrative person. I am also not a joiner. Though much reduced over the years I still dread talking to people I don't know, especially if it could be confrontational.
When the Supreme Court ruling came down I said congratulations even though I don't think that the judiciary is the best way to achieve these victories. And I still feel that way, judicial victories before the general population is ready for them tend to inflame rather than settle. And therefore I could sit mostly on the sidelines, letting the main "combatants" slowly move the ball with me doing my small things to advance it and mostly not get in the way.
But, while I was willing to see it achieved (admittedly the more painful path I would not personally bear the brunt of) through the slow road of demographic change, the victory was still won.
And I was overconfident. Overconfident that while I was pretty sure the population wouldn't vote to give gay marriage, they also wouldn't vote to take it away.
And I was lulled. Lulled by the polls showing that while it would be dispiritingly close, it would still fail and that each year after that it would become increasingly unlikely anybody would ever again succeed at doing away with that victory.
So I gnashed my teeth at the Yes on 8 sign wavers. I resisted the urge to pull Yes on 8 signs out of the ground. I convinced myself that the Yes on 8 crowd could not be convinced otherwise, and fortunately for me (or so I thought) they don't need to be convinced. They would lose, and each year they would lose some more. And eventually they would be far enough in the loss column that they would have to hide their views in polite company and then they would begin to die out.
But I was wrong. And while I don't honestly believe a fuller participation on my part would have changed anything, I should have done it anyway.